Text: “New Family Ties: Stepfamily”

Most of us learned about stepfamilies from Cinderella and her wicked siblings. Her pre-prince fate is one all children wish to be spared, and until recently, most of their wishes have been granted. But if present trends continue, in the near future, according to some estimates, more American children will be part of a second marriage than a first.

Stepfamilies are created when remarriage follows divorce or bereavement, or when single mothers marry. The growth of divorce and unwed motherhood explains the current explosion in the number of stepfamilies. Most estimates put today's divorce rate at about 50 percent. About three-quarters of divorced persons remarry, and every divorce involves an average of slightly less than one child. One out of four marriages in 1995 was a remarriage following a divorce or bereavement; approximately 5.5 percent of all families come from marriages of single mothers. What all this means is that at least one out of five children born in 2000 will live in a stepfamily before the age of eighteen.

Although stepfamilies look like intact nuclear families – composed of married adults and children living in the same household – they are different in many ways.

They are far more complex. They create new roles, such as remarried absent parents, stepsiblings, half-siblings and stepgrandparents.

In a stepfamily, the cast of characters living in a household can change continuously.

Roles are not defined. Should a child, for example, be expected to obey the new spouse of the parent it doesn’t live with?

We are thus witnessing the emergence of a truly new pattern of life, and questions naturally arise. Do stepfamilies work as substitutes for biological families? How well do stepfamilies prepare children to be emotionally healthy, socially adapted, and capable of forming their own family relationships?

/After William Beer/

Ex. 1. Read and translate the text.

Ex. 2. Answer the questions on the text.

1. What problems does a stepfamily face?

2. Can you suggest answers to the questions asked at the end of the article?

3. Do stepchildren and adopted children have similar problems?

Discussion

Ex. 1. Say in what way these factors may complicate the relationship between men and women, put a strain on their marriage, cause a divorce.

• the changes in the law that have made divorce easier and more acceptable;

• the change in the traditional roles of women and men in the home;

• the change in moral values;

• a low income;

• the consumer mentality rather than the producer mentality of the husband;

• “women’s liberation” movement;

• the wife’s desire to pursue her career;

• lack of kindness and respect for others; no mutual respect;

• an early marriage;

• romantic love before marriage;

• no intimate relationships before marriage;

• the provision of contraception for those under the age of sixteen;

• the changes in their own situation (prolonged unemployment, a serious illness, a new location, etc.);

• a chronic dissatisfaction that is not being attended to;

• changes in each of the spouses;

• the difference in their education;

• their parents’ disapproval of their marriage.

Ex. 2. What other factors of the kind can be pointed out? Comment on each of them.

Ex. 3. What is the best way to curb the rising divorce rate? Here are some suggestions. Discuss their value and give your own ideas.

• High school should require students to take courses on marriage and family matters.

• Couples should sign contracts spelling out the terms of their marriage.

• First-time marriages should occur at later ages.

• Wives should seek the help of ministers, physicians, marriage counsellors and sex therapists.

Ex. 4. What's the best way to save a marriage?

Should a couple:

• go for help to a relative?

• attempt to find out who is most at fault?

• train themselves to shut their ears and be deaf to each other?

• keep their grievances to themselves?

Ex. 5. Give your own advice. Give examples from your or somebody else's experience in solving marital problems.

Ex. 6. Comment on the following:

1. Divorce is almost always devastating for children.

2. Divorce is a healthy alternative to an unhappy married life.

3. Divorce is morally wrong and marriage should be preserved at all costs.