Incomplete Clauses

Although omitting part of a clause may be good writing, in many cases such an omission can really confuse a reader. In the sentence "Kelley is more outgoing than I," for example, the meaning "than I (am)" is clear.

But read the following sentence and see what an omission in a clause can do to the clarity of a message:

Did Anderson lose the sale or his manager?

What do you suppose this writer means? The question may be whether Anderson or his manager lost the sale. The polished writer would have asked clearly and simply:

Which one lost the sale, Anderson or his manager?

Now see how absurd the following illustration is as a result of the incomplete clause:

Did Laura mail the package or her secretary?

The sentence can be interpreted to mean: “Did Laura mail the package or did she mail her secretary?” To make this sentence clear, the complete clause should be included:

Did Laura mail the package, or did her secretary do it?

Balancing Items in Lists

Balance is especially important in lists. Note, for example, the following list:

The salary committee decided:

1. To study pay scales in local companies.

2. To study salaries in the industry.

3. That employees be informed of the studies.

For balance, the last item in the list should match the other items:

3. To inform the employees of the studies.

When listing items, be sure to use the same structure for all items. Compare the following example of a poor list with the better example that follows. Note how the better list is easier to read.

POOR: When you are traveling, be sure to follow these guidelines:

1. Tell someone in the company where you plan to be.

2. Call in each day for messages.

3. A number should be left where you can be reached.

4. Your office should be notified if plans change.

BETTER: When you are traveling, be sure to follow these guidelines:

1. Tell someone in the company where you plan to be.

2. Call in each day for messages.

3. Leave a number where you can be reached.

4. Notify your office if plans change.

As you see, in both examples the items listed are complete sentences. but in the poor example the sentences are not balanced. Notice how the words Tell, Call, Leave, and Notify create a balanced list. Each item now begins with an imperative verb.

APPLICATION EXERCISES

A. Rewrite the following sentences, avoiding the and pitfalls.

1. Our warehouse will be closed for summer vacation, and no orders will be shipped between July 1 and July 15.

2. Our office staff serves coffee and doughnuts on Friday mornings, and just about everyone attends.

3. These word processors are just what we need, and we want to order five as soon as possible.

4. The advertising is being prepared now, and the sale will be held.

5. Experts forecast an increase in consumer spending, and our company will continue to open new branch stores.

6. We made some changes in our billing operation, and payments came in more quickly.

7. Our representatives manage to make more calls than before, and there are fewer of them now.

8. We showed your suggestion to Mr. Ordin, and he liked it very much.

B. With the principle of balance in mind, rewrite the following sentences.

1. The new procedure was adopted yesterday and the new regulations published today.

2. To equip the office, we have ordered a word processor, minicomputer, and electronic typewriter.

3. I never have, and never will, see a successful disorganized salesperson.

4. A customer has little faith and respect for a representative who is always late.

5. This is the simple procedure: push the button, wait one minute, any number of copies can now be made.

6. Did the general manager give you those instructions or his secretary?

7. Ms. Willard called the airline, made a reservation, and she has driven to the airport.

8. Purchasing, billing, and the maintenance of the books are all done in the home office.

9. Each participant will be responsible for joining in the discussion and for questions.

10. It will take quite a while to update our bookkeeping, to check accounts, and for examining the salespeople's daily reports.

С. Use transitional expressions to show a closer relationship between the following pairs of ideas.

1. We are making too many billing errors. We must check invoices twice from now on.

2. The recession has very much affected our performance. We do have a chance of bettering last year’s performance.

3. You are invited to suggest an office improvement. The deadline is tomorrow at 5 p.m.

4. The mail room closes at 4 p.m. This package will have to go out tomorrow morning.

5. Experienced people are scarce. Ms. Johns will have to start a training program.

6. The computer terminals frighten the staff. Mr. Osmond uses his 10 hours a day.

7. She was hired mainly because of her accounting background. She is also extremely intelligent and able.

8. This collection service is very expensive. It seems to be much more efficient than our present service.

D. Rewrite the following paragraph so that it flows smoothly.

Last year we closed four branch offices to conserve funds. This decision saved about 8 percent on our operating budget. Sales decreased by 14 percent. A large portion of this decrease can be traced to the closing of the offices. A portion is due to the general decline in the economy. I would suggest that we reopen these offices. Their closings cost us more than we saved.