Unit 12 Lesson 6 Ex. 1b

7 Tips to Being a Great Conversationalist

Over the years I have been told that I am easy to talk to and have good conversation skills. I guess that is because I just love meeting new people and having conversations with them on just about anything that may come up. It didn’t always used to be like this though, I have read a couple of books and been fortunate enough to know some brilliant conversationalists and learnt from them how to improve my own conversational and communication skills. How can you improve your conversational skills to become a welcome sight at every party and social event you attend? Here are some tips that might help.

1) Ask questions

The truth is that most people prefer to talk about themselves and are hardly interested to hear about the other person or people in the conversation. Asking non-threatening questions is a great way to start and refresh conversations.

2) Listen

A simple fact is that good conversationalists are good listeners. The key is to listen attentively whether you are with one person or with a group of people. Also, when you listen you learn. When you are speaking you are not learning anything new. Make a conscious effort to focus on what people say. Show that you are genuinely interested by asking questions that support and develop the conversation; “What do you mean exactly?”, “What happened next?”, or “How did you feel about that?”

3) Give compliments

Remember to give compliments whenever you can, and do it sincerely because people will know if you are just trying to flatter them.  If someone looks smart or has lost weight or has a stylish new haircut then show that you have noticed by giving a genuine compliment.

4) Keep yourself current with topical issues

It is important to keep up to date on key current issues and topics in the news, entertainment, sports and politics. You should be ready to comment with questions, ideas, facts and opinions on the issues that other people are interested in.  In general it is best to avoid really sensitive or controversial topics especially if they risk offending people’s personal feelings.

5) Be Funny

One thing I love to do is make people laugh and also have a good laugh myself. There is a place for serious discussion and there is a place for humour, so be ready to contribute in either environment.  Personal anecdotes relating to unusual experiences and misfortunes that have happened to you often go down well. Jokes, quotes and other people’s witty remarks can also be used sparingly and with acknowledgement. Remember to laugh at other people’s funny stories, even if you have heard them before.

6) Speak Clearly

When you speak, say what you have to say with clarity and enthusiasm. Don’t mumble your words, or rush through them or whisper so quietly that people have to strain to hear them. Good conversationalists are clear, articulate, and easy to understand. Keep your sentences short and to the point.

7) Enjoy yourself

Remember to just be yourself and don’t try to be anything that you are not. Relax and enjoy the occasion whatever it might be. People prefer to mix with the happy and good-natured rather than grumpy and miserable people. Have fun and really enjoy meeting new people at every opportunity.