Do you touch people?
Many Northern Europeans and North Americans don't touch each other very much. How often do you touch other people? How often have you touched other people today? What sort of touching was it? What did it mean? And where do we touch each other?
The psychologist Jourard showed three hundred college students in the United States a drawing of a person. The person was divided into 12 parts.
The students were asked:
1. Who touches you? (your mother, your father, friends of the same sex, friends of the opposite sex)
2. How often do they touch you? (frequently, quite often, rarely, hardly ever)
3. Where do they touch you?
• Mothers touch their daughters more than their sons on their arms and their hair.
• Mothers touch their sons more than their daughters on their chests.
• Fathers touch their daughters more than their sons on their hair, face, neck and shoulders.
• Men friends touch each other more than women friends on the shoulders, chest and legs.
• Women friends touch each other more than men friends on the hair, face, neck and forearms.
• Men touch women more on the knee than women touch men.
• Women touch men more on the chest and the hips than men touch women.
Which of these answers do you think are obvious and which do you think are surprising?
Jourard did further research into touching. He sat in cafes in four cities and noted down every time he saw someone touch someone else.' His notes were:
San Juan (Puerto Rico) - 180
Paris - 101
Gainesville (Florida) - 2
London - 0
Common touching and uncommon touching in the West
Which of these types of behavior woul surprise or shock someone from another part of the world?
Shaking hands
People who are very good friends don't shake hands. (Unless they haven't seen each other for a long time or one wants to congratulate the other J People can give a warm handshake by squeezing your hand hard or shaking your hand with both of theirs or shaking your hand and then patting you on the back or even hugging you with the other arm.
Many people would like to hug other people but feel they shouldn't do so. They show that they would like to hug you because they lean forwards a little bit when they shake your hand.
As a foreign visitor to Britain and the States, people will shake you by the hand when you are introduced and when you finally depart. They will probably not shake your hand at other times.
Patting
Some British and American people would like to hug you but they feel they shouldn't, so they pat you instead! They should only pat you on the arm, hand, shoulder or back. If they pat you anywhere else then it means more than general friendliness!
Linking arms
Two (or three) women sometimes do this. It is simply a friendly sign. Women sometimes link their arms through the arm of their mate companion; however, this is becoming less common.
Shoulder hold
It is quite common for a young man to put his arm round the shoulder of his girlfriend.
Holding hands
It is no longer very common for young lovers to hold hands.
Holding the waist
This is more serious than holding someone's shoulder.
A full hug
It is quite common to hug a much-loved friend or relation if he or she has been away for a long time.
Kissing
In some countries it is quite common for men to kiss each other as a greeting. In Britain and North America it is rarely done. Women sometimes kiss each other. In some families it is very common to kiss as a greeting, but in many families it is never done. Hugging and kissing between lovers in public is acceptable but not common.
A tip for a visitor to Britain or North America
You can see from the descriptions above that people don't touch and hug each other very much in Britain and North America, but this doesn't mean that the people aren't warm and don't like each other ... and you!
And, of course, if other people's behaviour seems strange to you then yours will seem strange to them. But behaviour is language and we all have different ways of expressing ourselves. Body language is not an international language.
Make sure you know the words:
touch
chest
neck
forearms
hips
obvious
shake
handshake
squeeze
pat
hug
lean
depart
hold
acceptable
link
Find all possible derivatives to the following words. (Consult the dictionary if it is necessary).
depart
accept
pat
hold
shake
introduce
link
touch
surprise
Find synonyms to the following words.
hug
surprise
hold
depart
express
touch
Translate the following into English using your active vocabulary.
Не прикасайся ко мне, ты же весь в грязи!
В США и Европе мужчины обычно пожимают друг другу руку при встрече и прощании.
Он был так тронут твоим гостеприимством, что хотел обнять и поцеловать тебя в знак благодарности. Но потом понял, что ему не следует делать этого, так как это не принято в нашем обществе, поэтому вы просто обменялись дружеским рукопожатием.
Мать наклонилась и обняла сына, затем погладила его по голове, поцеловала и пожелала спокойной ночи.
Профессор провел более углубленное исследование относительно прикосновений, и его результаты удивляют и даже шокируют.
Он положил руку на плечо своему компаньону и стал с ним о чем-то беседовать.
Объятия старых друзей, которые давно не виделись, считаются нормой.