Emotional Development

While children are learning to use their bodies to think, and to express themselves, they are also developing emotionally. They become attached to specific people and care about what these people think and feel.

Konrad Lorenz discovered that goslings become attached to their mothers in a sudden learning process called imprinting. A few hours after hatching, the goslings will follow the first thing they see that moves. Usually, it is their mother. Even if the first thing they see is a human, they will treat that person like their mother from then on. A critical period is a time in development when certain skills or abilities are most easily learned. For geese, this period occurs just after birth. Whatever goslings learn during this period makes a deep impression. However, a gosling will correct its imprinted response when later exposed to its mother.

Psychologist Harry Harlow raised baby monkeys with two substitute mothers. One mother was made of soft cloth and the other was made of wire. He discovered that the young monkeys became strongly attached to the cloth mother, whether she gave food or not. They ignored the wire mother. When frightened, the babies would run to the cloth mother, not the wire one. Harlow concluded that monkeys cling to their mothers because of the need for touching, which he called contact comfort.

Human infants become attached to their mothers at about 6 months of age. This attachment is especially strong between ages 6 months and 3 years. At 3 years of age, children have reached the stage where they can imagine their mother and feel a relationship with her, even when she is absent.

A 1-year-old child may display stranger anxiety when she is near a stranger, even when the mother is present. Separation anxiety occurs whenever the child is suddenly separated from the mother. Researchers have identified four patterns of attachment. Infants who demonstrate secure attachment welcome the mother back when she leaves and are not angry at her. In avoidance attachment, infants avoid or ignore the mother when she leaves or returns. Infants with resistance attachment are not upset when the mother leaves but reject her or act angry when she returns. Infants with disorganized attachment behave inconsistently. They may not be upset when the mother leaves but they avoid her when she returns. This attachment seems to be the least secure type of attachment.

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The parent-child relationship influences the way children seek independence and resolve conflicts. In authoritarian families, parents are the bosses. They set the rules and expect children to follow them without question. In democratic or authoritative families, children participate in the decisions that affect their lives. Parents listen to the children's reasons for wanting to do something. The parents, however, still have the right to say no. In permissive or laissez-faire families, children have the final say. Parents may try to guide the children. They often, however, give in to the children's wishes. They may even give up their parenting responsibilities. They may set no rules and simply ignore the children.

Studies show that children who grow up in democratic/authoritative families are more confident than are other young people. This results from two behaviors of the parents. The parents establish limits on the child and respond to the child with warmth and support. Children of democratic families are also likely to want to make their own decisions.