British Restaurant Etiquette

'Dining out' describes a large number of eating experiences, but restaurant rules are universal. Although you are the customer, a little charm goes a long way, so treating your waiter or waitress respectfully will enhance your experience no end.

RESERVATIONS. Whenever possible, make a reservation; always book if you are dining in a group, and discuss any special requirements with the restaurant in advance.

CHOICE OF TABLE. If you are unhappy with the table you are allocated, ask whether it is possible to be accommodated elsewhere, but do this before you sit down to minimise disturbance. If the waiter assists a woman in taking her seat, she should accept the offer graciously, and wait until the chair is touching the back of her knees before beginning to sit down.

WINE AND WATER. Restaurants should now offer tap, as well as bottled, water. Somebody has to take control of ordering the wine in a restaurant, but that person should not necessarily select the wine single-handed.

TEA. If serving tea for a group it is worth brewing a pot. Loose-leaf tea will taste best. A second pot of hot water should be provided to dilute over-brewed tea if necessary. If a waiter places a teapot on the table without pouring the tea the person nearest the pot should pour for everyone.

The tea is poured by the hostess or a nominated pourer. If leaf tea is served, a tea strainer is used. The tea is handed out one cup at a time after being poured, rather than pouring a few and handing them out in one go. The milk jug is passed around and each person adds their own milk. Use the spoon provided to stir the tea (without clinking against the cup) and, when finished, place it on the saucer. Cups are held by the handle – being careful not to raise the little finger – and placed back on the saucer between sips. Saucers remain on the table and are never raised when the cup is lifted up. Away from the table, raise the saucer.

Don't dunk biscuits in your tea unless in an informal setting, and don't slurp - even if it is piping hot.

ORDERING. When dining in a group, you should try to agree collectively on the number of courses. Once you have chosen, close your menu. If you know that someone else will be picking up the bill, choose modestly. If you are footing the bill, you should suggest to your guests that they have free rein.

Normally, everyone at the table is served at the same time. Wait until all dishes have arrived at the table before starting. If yours is lagging behind, insist the others start, and wait a few minutes before quietly enquiring as to where yours is.

Asking for food that is not on the menu, or for food that is listed to be cooked or served in a special way (power ordering) is increasingly common. It can, however, be rude to the host to make too much of a fuss, so keep it brief. If you are the one paying, it is less rude but may appear arrogant or neurotic, so keep it in proportion.

COMPLAINING. If you are dissatisfied with the food, say so discreetly and with minimal fuss, and request any necessary (and reasonable) changes. Keep things pleasant, and don't shoot the messenger. Be aware that excessive complaining may spoil your companions' evening.

PAYING. If the event has been organised by you, it is your responsibility to pay (unless another arrangement has been agreed beforehand). If the bill is to be split, divide it equally, niggling about the comparative cost of dishes and drinks will look cheap. Always leave an appropriate tip, except when service has been exceptionally poor.

Paying the Bill. There is one abiding rule - the person who requests the pleasure, pays for the pleasure. So, as a simple point of etiquette, you should pick up the tab for a lunch, dinner or drinks - whether dating or business lunching - if you have invited the other person.

'Going Dutch' is not recommended on a date. Instead, the person who issued the invitation should pick up the tab.

The gender divide can often put unfair pressure on the man to pay when dining as a couple. Men should be ready to concede if she is adamant she must pay her way. More established couples should take it in turns if they are financially equal, or split the bill.

Splitting the bill is fine for bigger restaurant gatherings. Costs should be divided equally; niggling about the comparative cost of dishes and drinks will be embarrassing and look cheap.

In the UK, tipping in restaurants is usually 'discretionary', but it is more discretionary in some places than others so check your bill. 'Service not included' means just that, and it is usual to offer at least ten per cent.

If you are paying by card, you will often be able to add the tip before entering your PIN number. Leaving cash is the method favoured by restaurant staff.

Some establishments will add a discretionary percentage automatically. You are not obliged to pay this if service has been noticeably poor, and in some circumstances it is acceptable to ask for it to be removed.

LEFT-OVERS. The largely American habit of asking for a doggie bag in a restaurant is still quite unusual this side of the Atlantic. In our more eco-conscious times, however, the practice is becoming more accepted.