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The Importance of Being a Father

With many mothers returning to work after the birth of their babies, fathers are becoming more actively involved in the rearing of children than ever before in American culture. In fact, six-month-old infants are generally just as attached to their fathers as they are to their mothers.

Although fathers are as good as mothers at such things as bottle-feeding, once the baby comes home, the mother is usually still the one who does most of the caregiving. Caregiving includes feeding, diapering, and bathing infants. So if men generally do not spend the time they have with their children in caregiving, what is it they do? Most fathers play – and they are very good at it.

The way fathers play turns out to be very different from the way mothers play with their children. Whereas mothers usually use toys or word games, fathers tend to play in rough-and tumble way. They bounce and lift their children. They move their arms and legs. Psychologists have discovered that as infants grow, they come to prefer those sorts of games. By the time most children are 30 months old, they often are more cooperative, excited, and interested in play with their fathers than with their mothers.

But do fathers make a difference in the development of their children? They most certainly do. A father’s involvement has an effect in at least two major areas: social development and cognitive development. Socially, children whose fathers play with them tend to be more popular and have better relationships with their peers. During physical play with their fathers, children learn to figure out other people’s emotions and expressions and to regulate their own emotions. Therefore, fathers help teach them how to get along with their friends and other people. Children whose fathers are involved with them also generally grow up to be more empathic. Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s point of view and imagine what that person might be feeling.

When it comes to cognitive development, a father’s influence is most noticeable in boys. If a boy has a close relationship with his father, he often does better at solving problems and taking cognitive tests.

Abridged from Psychology