Conversational structure

Non-verbal communication also helps us structure our interactions. By this I mean how a conversation takes place.

What do we do when we “enter” into a social interaction with someone we know or have just met for the first time?

We shake-hands. Often times, if it is a relative or someone we really like we might even hug them or give them a kiss. If it is someone we see a lot of maybe we just nod, but there is almost always some form of non-verbal communication that begins our social interaction.

The same is true when we end or “exit” our social interaction. We might shake hands again, or maybe just nod, or kiss someone goodbye.

What about during a conversation?

Nonverbal behavior is most noticeable during a conversation when we change turns.

Turn-taking

Turn-taking is when one person stops to allow another person to begin speaking during a conversation. When we exchange turns we often signal our stopping in the conversation for the other person to begin with a non-verbal cue. One way is through eye-movement.

If you want to let the other person speak:

Maybe we look into another person’s eyes to show our interest in listening.

Or maybe, if you are sitting in a chair, you scoot forward a little to let the person you speaking to, know that you are ready to listen.

If you want to speak:

In formal situations, such as a classroom, maybe you raise your hand to let the teacher know you want to speak.

Or another way to signal you are about to say something, is to clear your throat.

There are a number of these non-verbal cues. The next time you are talking with your friends try to pay attention to what they do and you do to signal the different parts of a conversation.

Finally, there are non-verbal ques for the content of a conversation. This is very obvious and common. We usually signal our interest and more often our agreement or disagreement by shaking or nodding our heads. This can be different in different cultures. I know in Bulgaria, people nod their head and click their tongue when they disagree.

In Arab culture too, to disagree with someone you move your head back slowly, raise your eyebrows, and also click your tongue.

Finally, there are a variety of non-verbal signals or gestures in every culture to suggest many different things. Anger, happiness, everything is okay, etc. I don’t think I need to elaborate on this. My favorite example, however, is the finger flick at the neck when someone wants to drink in Ukraine—this does not exist in the U.S.A.

3. Norms governing the quantity of speech produced:

Now let’s talk about our third social norm governing speech. This is the amount of speaking a person can do.

Americans, for example, usually talk a lot more compared to other societies. This is in contrast to an Indian society where few people speak at all.

ASK STUDENTS:

What happens when someone starts talking to you and continues and continues…what do you do?

How do you feel when you are the only person talking in a conversation? How do you feel when you are in a conversation and the other person just doesn’t seem to want to say much?