Institute for Behavior Therapy

104 East 40th Street

Suite 206

New York NY 10016

Tel: 001 212 692 9288

Fax: 001 212 692 9305

Social Phobia/Social Anxiety Association (SP/SAA)Social Anxiety Institute

2058 E. Topeka Drive

Phoenix AZ 85024

Website: www.socialphobia.org

Social Anxiety Institute (SAI)

Website: www.socialanxietyinstitute.org

Useful books

Edmund J. Bourne, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (fourth edition), Oakland, New Harbinger Publications 2005

Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman and Matthew McKay, The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook (fifth edition), Oakland, New Harbinger Publications, 2000

Melanie Fennell, Overcoming Low Self-esteem, London, Robinson, 1999

Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky, Mind over Mood, New York, Guilford Press, 1995

Debra Hope, Richard G. Heimberg and Cynthia L. Turk, Managing Social Anxiety, New York, Oxford University Press Inc., 2006

Helen Kennerley, Overcoming Anxiety, London, Robinson, 1997

Harriet G. Lerner, The Dance of Anger, New York, HarperCollins, 1999

Matthew McKay, Carole Honeychurch and Patrick Fanning, The Self-esteem Companion, Oakland, New Harbinger Publications, 2005

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness, London, Rider, 1991

Ronald M. Rapee, Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia, New York, Jason Aronson, 1998

Sue Spence, Ronald M. Rapee and Vanessa Cobham, Helping Your Anxious Child, Oakland, New Harbinger Publications, 2000

  Appendix

In this appendix you will find blank copies of the various worksheets described in the earlier chapters. These are for you to copy if you wish, so that you can use them to continue the work on overcoming your social anxiety. One study has shown that people working on their own who do not complete any written work improve less than people who do. So if you complete some of these worksheets while working at overcoming your problem you will be more likely to make the gains that you want to make. It is useful to copy these blank worksheets, and also to keep some spares in a safe place, so that you will be able to pick one up if you unexpectedly have good reason to need it.

There are many different versions of worksheets to help people change, in many different books. So if the particular version provided does not suit you, there is no reason why you should not make one up to suit your needs better. Check that you have understood what it is intended for first, and then make whatever adaptations seem sensible to you.

  TABLE 7.1: THOUGHT RECORD FOR IDENTIFYING THOUGHTS

(for completed examples see here)

Situation (be specific)

Feelings (there may be more than one)

Thoughts, impressions, etc. (keep the different thoughts separate)

 

 

 

Key questions for step 1: Identifying your thoughts

What went through your mind when you started to feel anxious? And after that? And when it was all over?

What was the worst thing that might have happened at the time?

What is it about this situation that matters to you?

What does having this experience mean to you?

What does it mean about you?

  TABLE 7.1: THOUGHT RECORD FOR IDENTIFYING THOUGHTS

(for completed examples see here)

Situation (be specific)

Feelings (there may be more than one)

Thoughts, impressions, etc. (keep the different thoughts separate)

 

 

 

  TABLE 7.2: THOUGHT RECORD FOR LOOKING FOR ALTERNATIVES

(for completed examples see here)

Upsetting thoughts (take one at a time)

Possible alternatives (there may be more than one)

 

 

Key questions for step 2: Looking for alternatives

What are the facts? What evidence do you have to support what you think? What evidence is there against it? Which way of thinking fits best with the facts? The fact that you think something does not make it true.

What possible alternatives are there? What would you think if you were more confident? How might someone else view this situation? What would you say to someone else who was thinking in this sort of way? What would someone who cared about you say?

What is the worst possible way of seeing things, or the worst thing that could possibly happen? What is the best way of seeing things, or the best thing that could happen? Which is most realistic? Or most likely to be right?

What biases might be affecting your thinking? For example, are you jumping to conclusions? Exaggerating? Over-generalizing? Are you predicting the future as a certainty? Or mindreading? Or focusing on the negative side of things at the expense of everything else?

What can you do that would be helpful? What personal skills and strengths do you have to help? What past experience of dealing with similar problems? What help, advice and support are available to you, from others or from books? What can you do to change things? If you can’t change the situation, can you keep an open mind about what it means?

  TABLE 7.2: THOUGHT RECORD FOR LOOKING FOR ALTERNATIVES

(for completed examples see here)

Upsetting thoughts (take one at a time)

Possible alternatives (there may be more than one)

 

 

  TABLE 7.3: COMPLETE THOUGHT RECORD

(for completed examples see here)

Situation (be specific)

Upsetting thoughts (keep the different thoughts separate)

Possible alternatives (there may be more than one)

Changes in feelings (–10–0–+10)

Action plan (what would you like to do differently?)

 

 

 

 

 

  TABLE 8.2: THOUGHT RECORD FOR CHANGING BEHAVIORS

(for completed examples see here)

Specific situation (Think of a situation in which you use a safety behavior)

Prediction (What will happen if you do not keep yourself safe? How will you know if it happens?)

Experiment (How will you find out? What will you do differently?)

What actually happened? (What did you observe? stick to the facts.)

Conclusions (What does this mean?)

 

 

 

 

 

Key questions for changing beliefs

Would you judge someone else who felt like you do in the same way? What would you say to someone else who held a belief like this one?

Are you being fair to yourself?

Are you going in for ‘character assassination’, rather than sticking to what happened on one particular occasion?

Are you forgetting that everyone makes mistakes, gets things wrong, and feels socially uncomfortable at times? That no one can be perfect?

Are you ignoring your strengths and focusing on your weaknesses? Ignoring the successes and friendships, while focusing on failures and embarrassments?

Are you falling into a biased pattern of thinking? Catastrophizing? Taking things personally? Mind reading? Emotional reasoning? (See the list here.)

Are you drawing conclusions on the basis of your childhood or adolescent experiences?

Are you judging yourself as you have (once) been judged? If so, what makes the person, or people, who judged you right now? Who is the best authority on you? Other people or yourself?

  BOX 10.2: COUNTER-BELIEF WORKSHEET

(for completed examples see here)

Belief:

How much do you believe this (0–100 per cent)?

The Forward Search Plan

BEFORE THE EVENT

1 Think of a future situation that will be difficult for you

2 Your expectation or prediction (this should fit with your belief)

3 Search plan: What should you be looking out for?

AFTER THE EVENT

4 Outcome: What actually happened?

5 What conclusions can you draw from that?

Rethinking your original belief

How much do you believe it now (0–100 per cent)?

Does your belief need modifying? If so, how?

  Index

Numbers in bold indicate primary reference

Adolescence ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

aggressive behavior ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

alcohol ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

anger ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

anticipatory anxiety or dread ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

anxiety ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11, ref12, ref13

see also social anxiety

apprehension ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

arousal system ref1, ref2, ref3

assertiveness ref1, ref2

balancing acts ref1

cooperation principles ref1, ref2

handling compliments ref1, ref2

handling confrontation and conflict ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

handling criticism and complaints ref1, ref2

negotiation skills ref1, ref2, ref3

passivity and aggression ref1

saying ‘no’ ref1, ref2

assumptions see beliefs and assumptions

attention ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9

authority, talking to people in ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

automatic thoughts ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

avoidance ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

bullying, effects of ref1

facing the fears ref1

subtle kinds of ref1

awkwardness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

bad experiences ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5

behavior, changing ref1, ref2

facing the fears ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

implications ref1, ref2, ref3

maintaining progress ref1, ref2

mini-experiments ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

risk taking ref1, ref2, ref3

safety behaviors ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

setbacks ref1

successes, acknowledging ref1, ref2

thought records ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

behavioral symptoms ref1

beliefs and assumptions ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9

assumptions, changing ref1, ref2

beliefs, changing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5

building positive beliefs ref1

bullying effects of ref1

core beliefs ref1, ref2, ref3

counter-beliefs ref1, ref2

identifying ref1, ref2

maintenance cycles ref1

negative beliefs ref1, ref2, ref3

sources ref1

biological factors ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

blushing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

breathlessness ref1, ref2

bullying ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

effects ref1, ref2

overcoming the effects ref1

reactions to ref1

subtle forms ref1

understanding the bully ref1

business and social interactions ref1, ref2

catastrophizing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

causes of social anxiety ref1

bad experiences ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

biological factors ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

environmental factors ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

interaction ref1

life stages ref1, ref2, ref3

stresses ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

vulnerability factors ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5

childhood shyness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

Clark and Wells model of cognitive behavior ref1

clumsiness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

cognition ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

see also thinking patterns

cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) ref1, ref2

communication ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

compliments, handling ref1, ref2

concentration difficulties ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

confidence

behaving ‘as if’ confident ref1, ref2

building ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

seeking out successes ref1, ref2

and self-confidence ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5

sources ref1

underlying beliefs and assumptions ref1

confrontation and conflict ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

conventions ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10

criticism and complaints ref1, ref2

cultural variations

shyness ref1, ref2, ref3

social anxiety ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

dating anxiety ref1

demoralization ref1, ref2

depression ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

disinhibition ref1, ref2

dizziness and nausea ref1

eating in public places ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

embarrassment ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11, ref12, ref13, ref14

emotional reasoning ref1, ref2, ref3

emotional symptoms ref1

environmental factors ref1, ref2, ref3

extroversion ref1, ref2, ref3

eye contact ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11

fear ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11, ref12, ref13, ref14, ref15

flashcards ref1, ref2, ref3

frustration ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5

gender differences

shyness ref1, ref2

social anxiety ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

genetic factors ref1

health problems ref1, ref2, ref3

heart pounding ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

humiliation ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10

hyper-sensitivity ref1

hypervigilance ref1

imagery, socially anxious ref1, ref2

inadequacy, feelings of ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

inferiority feelings ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9

inhibition ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

internal conversations ref1, ref2

introversion ref1, ref2, ref3

isolation ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

life stages ref1, ref2, ref3

maintenance cycles ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

masking the problem ref1

medication ref1

mind reading ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

mumbling ref1

negative automatic thoughts (NATs) ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

negative evaluation ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

nervousness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

no, saying ref1, ref2

nonsense, talking ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

over-generalizing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

panic attacks ref1, ref2, ref3

passivity ref1, ref2, ref3

performance anxiety ref1

physical symptoms ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

post mortems ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

predictions ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

problems, facing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9

professional and personal life, effects on ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

public speaking ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

rejection ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11

relaxation ref1

progressive muscular relaxation ref1, ref2, ref3

relaxed attitude, developing ref1

resentment ref1, ref2

reserve ref1, ref2

rudeness ref1, ref2, ref3

safety behaviors ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11, ref12, ref13

bullying, effects of ref1

examples ref1, ref2

giving up ref1, ref2, ref3

hypervigilance ref1

identifying ref1, ref2

maintenance cycles ref1, ref2

self-awareness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

self-blaming ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

self-confidence see confidence

self-consciousness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

bullying effects of ref1

effects ref1, ref2

maintenance cycles ref1, ref2, ref3

reducing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

two-way experiment ref1

self-criticism ref1

self-esteem ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

self-expression ref1

self-focused attention ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11, ref12, ref13

self-help

changing behavior ref1, ref2, ref3

changing thinking patterns ref1, ref2, ref3

confidence-building ref1

exercises and worksheets,

adapting ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5

goals ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

guidelines ref1, ref2

helpful strategies ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

monitoring progress ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

pacing yourself ref1

reducing self-consciousness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

stress-free activities ref1

support networks ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

trying new things ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5

unhelpful strategies ref1

sexually attractive people, being with ref1, ref2, ref3

shyness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

advantages ref1, ref2

changing patterns of ref1

childhood shyness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

contributory factors ref1

cultural variations ref1, ref2, ref3

effects ref1

gender differences ref1, ref2

and introversion ref1, ref2

long-lasting shyness ref1

and rudeness ref1, ref2

self-blaming ref1

and social anxiety compared ref1, ref2

statistics ref1, ref2

symptoms ref1

see also social anxiety

social anxiety

causes ref1

cognitive behavioral model, Clark and Wells ref1

cultural variation ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

definition ref1

gender differences ref1, ref2

maintenance cycles ref1, ref2, ref3

normal levels ref1, ref2, ref3

and shyness compared ref1, ref2

signs and symptoms ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11, ref12, ref13, ref14, ref15, ref16, ref17

the socially anxious person ref1

thought patterns, role of ref1

triggers ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11

varieties ref1

social phobia ref1, ref2, ref3

clinical diagnosis ref1

generalized social phobia ref1

specific social phobia ref1

social skills ref1, ref2

solitary activities ref1, ref2

stage fright ref1

stress-free activities ref1

stresses ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

support networks ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

sweating ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

symptoms ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11, ref12, ref13, ref14, ref15, ref16, ref17

behavioral ref1

emotional ref1

physical ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

shyness ref1

temperament and personality ref1, ref2

tension ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

thinking patterns ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

automatic thoughts ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

biased thinking patterns ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

catastrophizing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

changing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10

different kinds of thoughts ref1

emotional reasoning ref1, ref2, ref3

extremist thoughts ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

fortune telling ref1

identifying your thoughts ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

labelling ref1, ref2, ref3

looking for alternatives ref1, ref2

meaning of social situations ref1

mind reading ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

misperceptions ref1

over-generalizing ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

positive, discounting the ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

post mortems ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7

predictions ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

pressurizing thoughts ref1, ref2

self-blaming ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6

socially anxious imagery ref1, ref2

symptoms of social phobia ref1

thought records ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

upsetting thoughts, questioning ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8

wishful thinking ref1

see also beliefs and assumptions

trembling ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5

triggers ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11

understanding and encouragement ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4

unlovable feeling ref1, ref2, ref3

vulnerability ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5, ref6, ref7, ref8, ref9, ref10, ref11, ref12, ref13

wariness ref1, ref2, ref3, ref4, ref5