8. Should a conflict be solved straightaway or when we calm down? After the quarrel it’s important to put yourself in your partner's place. Is the point of contention something that needs solving immediately or could it be discussed at a later point in time when you have both had time to calm down. Are you both able to calm down or does either one of you feel that is has to be resolved straight away? So now the problem arises that your partner may want the point in question resolved immediately. Firstly, can you remain calm enough to assess the situation and respond, not react, and try to work through the problem? Secondly, are you able to listen to what he has to say, while still keeping an open mind? Thirdly, should his grievance be valid, can you respond appropriately? Lastly, if you then feel it is not a valid point, are you able to respond in a non provocative way when sharing your own point of view? The issue now is your ability to remain calm, to take a step back and to listen first without letting your emotions run away with you. In other words, listen with your heart and not your head. On the other hand, should you be the one who wants an immediate up front discussion of the problem, I suggest you look deeply inside yourself to determine if you are just being difficult, angry, or whether your grievance is genuine (true, real). If you realize you are work off on your partner, you need to do your best to calm yourself down or walk away from the disagreement without turning your back on (speaking to) your partner in a rude way. Perhaps you both need a cooling off period? However, if you have a genuine grievance, try to put your point across in a non confrontational way which will give you both the opportunity to solve the problem. If you don't require an immediate solution can you both agree to back off, calm down and discuss it rationally at a later stage? The whole point is not to win or always be the one that is right, but to work to improve your relationship. By building the relationships with another people, you will be able to go from strength to strength and have a lasting and enduring partnership built on mutual understanding, respect and genuine companionship that will bring happiness your life. Remember, never touch another person in anger.

9. What would you consider to be a constructive or destructive approach to conflict? Why?

For most of us, the experience of conflict in interpersonal relationships is a negative one; but it does not have to be. Conflict, actually, can be positive or negative, constructive or destructive, based on how we approach, engage in and navigate the conflict. Disagreements with family members, friends and coworkers do not have to be relationship-damaging experiences. Arguments do not always have to end badly. Instead, constructive conflict can occur, and our relationships can be strengthened rather than weakened by the conflict.

Destructive conflict occurs when two or more people engage in actions and behaviors that result in increased antagonism instead of conflict resolution. For example, when two coworkers begin to make verbal attacks and use threatening gestures during an argument, the conflict between them has become destructive. Constructive conflict, on the other hand, occurs when people express disagreement without hostility and with a commitment to effective resolution of the conflict. For example, two family members may discuss an area of disagreement until a mutually-agreed upon resolution is reached.

Destructive conflict often contributes to an ongoing cycle of anger, fear and isolation between individuals and within a group. When destructive conflict occurs, the people involved will feel a number of negative emotions as well, such as rejection, resentment and shame. Constructive conflict, on the other hand, has many positive benefits, including feelings of security and well being. When constructive conflict occurs, people adapt better to conflict situations and make more effective decisions toward resolution.

8. Can conflicts at work place affect the efficiency of one’s work?

Workplace conflicts absolutely have an effect on a person's work performance. How could a person concentrate on getting work done when they are preoccupied with the conflict?

Conflict at work is inevitable. There is conflict in almost every office. Constructive conflict is a very healthy process in business. It helps employees to improve their performance. This will bring a positive result for your business. On the other hand, destructive conflict can harm both your business and the relationships between the employees. Business can be inhibited, if not nearly shut down by conflicts in the workplace. New ideas and innovations are squelched. Valuable employees can be lost by conflicts. Difficult conflicts must be resolved in order to keep your business thriving.

8. Is it possible to avoid conflicts?

Conflict can start anytime and at any place when individuals are not ready to accept the middle path approach. A conflict results in verbal arguments, abuses, tensions and also spoils relationships.

Before starting any conflict one should take some time out to think, “How will this fight benefit me?” “Is it going to provide me any solution?”

Often nothing beneficial and productive comes out of a conflict. It is simply a waste of time and energy for and thus every individual should try his level best to prevent conflict.

There are some pieces of advice how to avoid conflict:

• First learn to keep a control on your emotions. Never ever get too hyper or overreact as it leads you nowhere. Always remember the other individual you are dealing with might not be as educated as you, might not be from the same background as you are, but you have no right to ridicule his opinions.

• Be a good and a patient listener. Listen carefully what the other person has to say and then only give your expert comments. Even if you don’t agree to his suggestions, don’t just start fighting, instead discuss with him. Never be rigid on any point, instead be flexible and try to find out an alternative.

• Learn to keep a control on your tongue. One must think before he speaks. Don’t unnecessarily shout on others as it brings a lot of negativity around. Soften your voice while interacting with others and learn to adjust with others. Sit with the other person and try to sort out your differences.

• Effective communication goes a long way in preventing conflicts. Don’t always expect the other person to understand everything on his own. It is your moral responsibility to make him aware of what you exactly expect out of him.

• Don’t feel guilty if you have done anything wrong, instead admit it. Never hesitate to accept your faults. Be the first one to apologize. A small sorry can work wonders and prevent conflicts and unnecessary tensions.

• If the other individual is too demanding and adamant and is just not willing to listen, the best solution is to avoid him. You can’t be everyone’s favourite, learn to ignore people who are just not flexible and always ready to initiate a conflict. Don’t always bother what the other person has to say about you. Always act in a manner which you think is appropriate and don’t just blindly trust the rumor mills.

• No one wins in a fight and you gain nothing out of it. A conflict must be prevented at its early stages as it snatches one’s mental peace and harmony.