Find in the article the English for:
непослушный, своенравный ребенок; жить половой жизнью до брака; до ее отца дошли слухи, что …; отражать размах чьего-л. кутежа, гуляний; опрометчивый поступок; запачкать, запятнать; сбившийся с пути подросток; неуклонно возрастать; за последние десять лет; попасть в быстрый переходный период; обманывать, дурить кого-л.; быстроразвивающаяся репутация; родительская слежка; маскироваться под …; что-то необходится дешево; стандартный гонорар; сдержать гнев; переехать к кому-л.; убежать из дома; подрыв доверия со стороны детей; разведенный/ая; навести справки о ком-л; продемонстрировать пленку с записью; «жучек» в телефоне; обеспокоенные, встревоженные родители; пребывать в неведении; вести себя боле сдержанно, скромно.
Give the synonyms to the words below. Use the words under study:
to spy on sb; to enjoy; to get mixed with sb; sensational; to use to the full; to supervise; fruitless; to give up; inefficiency; more and more; wilful; to spot; to deceive; to disguise oneself as; to hold down one’s anger; to be unaware of sth; modestly; a phone bug.
Fill in the correct preposition. Check against the article.
A high price is still attached _ a woman’s unblemished reputation.
“She was running _ with boys and her behaviour was way beyond the norms of our society.”
More and more parents have begun turning _ private detectives to spy _ on their children.
Most private detectives warn parents _ revealing that they have monitored their children.
Indeed, rebelliousness is _ the rise.
Away _ medical school, 23-year-old Swati Mohan revealed _ her newfound freedom.
When her stellar grades started slipping, word filtered _ _ her father, he promptly hired a private eye.
Parties, bars and Internet chat rooms that have emerged _ the past decade as the country has opened _.
Rajan Maheshwari became alarmed _ his only son.
They sent the detectives back twice _ the past eight months.
Detectives found that Rajesh, 23, had hooked _ with a divorcee.
“But when I point _ what they spend _ their child’s education and marriage …”
After his father showed Rajesh the pictures and played him the tapes, he backed _ immediately.
Some children find out anyway _ either from parents or _ the detectives’ ineptitude.
VI. A) Scan the article for all possible variants of the Russian “следить за кем-то”. Account for their semantic difference.
b) Specify the difference: a detective – a private eye
VII. Say what is meant by:
a wired waiter;
newfound freedom;
an arranged marriage;
big taboos;
sb’s stellar grades started slipping;
a timber merchant;
a traditional/modern family;
India’s enduring culture;
the explosion of parties;
the country has opened up;
prospective partners;
a “courtship culture”;
explosive evidence;
to pose as a waiter;
none too discreetly;
family counseling;
a huge betrayal;
to roll home at 4 am;
sb. was challenged.
VIII. Sum up the article.
IX. Points for discussion:
Why is kid rebelliousness on the rise in India? What was it conditioned by?
Why do the Indians attach a lot of significance to their families’ reputation?
Is it a good idea to hire a private eye to tail your rebellious kid? Can this decision backfire on you?
What are parents to do as soon as they have found out some shocking facts concerning their children’s lives?
Does the journalist take sides regarding parental spying?
Would you object to your child’s premarital sex? Would you step in if your child had a gay/lesbian affair? Would you intervene if your child had hooked up with a divorcee/a person who is too young/old for your offspring?
Would you like to be in the know of your child’s private life or would you agree to be left in the dark?
8. How do you look upon arranged/shotgun marriage?
Child neglect and abuse
Children can be mistreated by having essential things withheld from them (neglect) or by having harmful things done to them (abuse). Neglect involves not meeting children’s basic needs: physical, medical, educational, and emotional. Emotional neglect is a part of emotional abuse. Abuse can be physical, sexual, or emotional. The different forms of abuse sometimes occur together. Child neglect and abuse often occur together and with other forms of family violence, such as spousal abuse. In addition to immediate harm, neglect and abuse cause long-lasting problems, including mental health problems and substance abuse. Also, adults who were sexually or mentally abused as children are more likely to abuse their own children.
In the United States, more than 800,000 children are neglected or abused every year, and about 1,100 of them die. Neglect is about 3 times more common than physical abuse. Neglect and abuse result from a complex combination of individual, family and social factors. Being a single parent, being poor, having problems with drug or alcohol abuse, or having a mental health problem (such as a personality disorder or low self-esteem) can make a parent mire likely to neglect or abuse a child. Neglect is 12 times more common among children living in poverty.
Doctors and nurses are required by law to promptly report cases of suspected child neglect or abuse to a local Child Protective Services agency. Depending on the circumstances, the local law enforcement agency may also be notified. Prompt reporting is also required from all people whose job places children younger than 18 in their care. Such people include teachers, childcare workers, and police and legal services personnel. Anyone else who knows of or suspects neglect or abuse is encouraged to report it but is not required to do so. All reported cases of child abuse are investigated by representatives of the Local Child Protective Services agency, who determine the facts and make recommendations. Agency representatives may recommend social services (for the child and family members), temporary hospitalization, temporary foster care, or permanent termination of parental rights. Doctors and social workers help the representatives from The Child Protective Services agency decide what to do based on the immediate medical needs of the child, the seriousness of the harm, and the likelihood of further neglect or abuse. There are a number of different types of child neglect and abuse.
Physical Neglect. Not meeting a child’s essential needs for food, clothing, and shelter is the most basic form of neglect. But there are many other forms. Parents may not obtain preventive dental or medical care for the child, such as vaccinations and routine physical examinations. Parents may delay obtaining medical care when the child is ill, putting the child at risk of more severe illness and even death. Parents may not make sure the child attends school or is privately schooled. Parents may leave a child in the care of a person who is known to be abusive, or may leave a young child unattended.
Physical Abuse. Physically mistreating or harming a child, including inflicting excessive physical punishment, is physical abuse. Children of any age may be physically abused, but infants and toddlers are particularly vulnerable. Physical abuse is the most common cause of serious head injury in infants. In toddlers, physical abuse is more likely to result in abdominal injuries, which may be fatal. Physical abuse (including homicide) is among the 10 leading causes of death in children. Generally, a child’s risk of physical abuse decreases during the early school years and increases during adolescence.
Most perpetrators of physical abuse are males known by the children. Children who are born in poverty to a young, single parent are at highest risk. Family stress contributes to physical abuse. Stress may result from unemployment, frequent moves to another home, social isolation from friends or family members, or ongoing family violence. Children who are difficult (irritable, demanding, hyperactive, or handicapped) often triggered by a crisis in the midst of other stresses. A crisis may be a loss of a job, a death in the family, a discipline problem, or even a toileting accident.
Sexual Abuse. Any action with a child that is for the sexual gratification of an adult or a significantly older child is considered sexual abuse. It includes penetrating the child’s body, touching the child with sexual intention but without penetration, exposing the intimate parts of the body, showing pornography to a child, and using a child in the production of pornography.
By the age of 18, about 12 to 25% of girls and 8 to 10% of boys have been sexually abused. Most perpetrators of sexual abuse are people known by the children, commonly a stepfather, an uncle or a mother’s boyfriend. Female perpetrators are less common. Certain situations increase the risk of sexual abuse. For example, children who have several caregivers or a caregiver with several sex partners are at increased risk. Being socially isolated, having low self-esteem, having family members who are also sexually abused, or being associated with a gang also increases risk.
Emotional abuse. Using words or acts to psychologically mistreat a child is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse makes children feel that they are worthless, flawed, unloved, unwanted, in danger, or valuable only when they meet another person’s needs.
Emotional abuse includes spurning, exploiting, terrorizing, isolating, and neglecting. Spurning means belittling the child’s abilities and accomplishments. Exploiting means encouraging deviant or criminal behavior, such as committing crimes or abusing alcohol or drugs. Terrorizing means bullying, threatening the child. Isolating means not allowing the child to interact with other adults or children. Emotionally neglecting a child means ignoring and not interacting with the child; the child is not given love and attention. Emotional abuse tends to occur over a long period of time.
Munchausen by Proxy. In this unusual type of child abuse, a caregiver, usually a mother, exaggerates, fakes, or causes an illness in the child. The symptoms of neglect and abuse vary depending partly on the nature and duration of the neglect and abuse, on the child, and on the particular circumstances. In addition to obvious physical injuries, symptoms include emotional and mental health problems. Such problems may develop immediately or later and may persist.
Physical Neglect. Physically neglected children may appear undernourished, tired or dirty or may lack appropriate clothing. They may frequently be absent from school. In extreme cases, children may be found living alone or with siblings, without adult supervision. Physical and emotional development may be slow. Some neglected children die of starvation or exposure.
Physical Abuse Bruises, burns, welts, or scrapes are common. These marks often have the shape of the object used to inflict them, such as a belt or lamp cord. Cigarette or scald burns may be visible on the arms or legs. Severe injures to the mouth, eyes, brain, or other internal organs may be present but not visible. Children may have signs of the old injuries, such as broken bones, that have healed. Sometimes injuries result in disfigurement.
Toddlers who have been intentionally dunked into a hot bathtub have scald burns. These burns may be located on the buttocks and may be shaped like a doughnut. The splash of hot water may cause small burns on other parts of the body.
Infants who are shaken may have shaken baby (shaken impact) syndrome. This syndrome is caused by violent shaking, often followed by throwing the infant. Infants who are shaken may have no visible signs of injury and may appear to be sleeping deeply. This sleepiness is due to brain damage and swelling, which may result from bleeding between the brain and skull (subdural hemorrhage). Infants may also have bleeding in the retina (retinal hemorrhage) at the back of the eye. Ribs and other bones may be broken.
Children who have been abused for a long time are often fearful and irritable. They often sleep poorly. They may be depressed and anxious. They are more likely to act in violent, criminal, or suicidal ways.
Sexual Abuse Changes in behavior are common. Such changes may occur abruptly and be extreme. Children may become aggressive or withdrawn or develop phobias or sleep disorders. Children who are sexually abused may behave in sexual ways inappropriate for their age. Children who are sexually abused by a parent or other family member may have conflicted feelings. They may feel emotionally close to the offender, yet betrayed.
Sexual abuse may also result in physical injuries. In general, children who are emotionally abused tend to be insecure and anxious about their attachments to other people because they have not had their needs met consistently or predictably. Infants who are emotionally neglected may seem unemotional or uninterested in their surroundings. Their behavior may be mistaken for mental retardation or a physical disorder. Children who are emotionally neglected may lack social skills or be slow to develop speech and language skills. Children who are spurned may have low self-esteem. Children who are exploited may commit crimes or abuse alcohol or drugs. Children who are terrorized may appear fearful and withdrawn. They may be distrustful, unassertive, and extremely anxious to please adults. Children who are isolated may be awkward in social situations and have difficulty forming normal relationships. Older children may not attend school regularly or may not perform well when they do attend.
Neglect and abuse are often difficult to recognize unless children appear severely undernourished or are obviously injured or unless neglect or abuse is witnessed by other people. Neglect and abuse may not be recognized for years. There are many reasons for this difficulty. Abused children may feel that abuse is a normal part of life and may not mention it. Physically and sexually abused children are often reluctant to volunteer information about their abuse because of shame, threats of retaliation, or even a feeling that that they deserved the abuse. Physically abused children often describe what happened to them if asked directly, but sexually abused children may be sworn to secretly or so traumatized that they do not.
When doctors suspect neglect or any kind of abuse, they look for signs of other types of abuse. They also fully evaluate the physical, environmental, and social needs of the child.
A neglected child is usually identified by health care practitioners or social workers during evaluation of an unrelated issue, such as an injury, an illness, or a behavioral problem. Doctors may notice that a child is not developing physically or emotionally at a normal rate or has missed many vaccinations or appointments. Teachers may identify a neglected child because of frequent unexplained absences from school. If neglect is suspected, doctors often check for anemia, infections, and lead poisoning, which are common among neglected children.
Physical abuse may be suspected when an infant who is not yet walking has bruises or serious injuries. Abuse may be suspected when a toddler or older child has certain types of bruises, such as bruises on the back of the legs, buttocks, and torso. When children are learning to walk bruises often result, but such bruises typically occur on prominent bony areas on the front of the body, such as the knees, shins, forehead, chin and elbows.
Abuse may also be suspected when parents appear to know little about their child’s health or to be unconcerned about an obvious injury. Parents who abuse their child may be reluctant to describe to the doctor or friends how an injury occurred. The description may not fit the age and nature of the injury or may change each time the story is told.
If doctors suspect physical abuse, they obtain accurate drawings and photographs of the injuries. Sometimes x-rays are taken to look for signs of previous injuries. If a child is younger than 2 years, x-rays of all bones are often taken to check for fractures.
Often, sexual abuse is diagnosed on the basis of the child’s or a witness’s account of the incident. However, because many children are reluctant to talk about sexual abuse, it may be suspected only because the child’s behavior becomes abnormal. If a child has been sexually within 72 hours, doctors examine the child to collect legal evidence of sexual contact. Photographs of any visible injuries are taken. In some communities, health care practitioners who are specially trained to evaluate sexual abuse of children perform this examination.
Emotional abuse is usually identified during evaluation of another problem, such as poor performance in school or a behavioral problem. Children who are emotionally abused are checked for signs of physical and sexual abuse.
A team of doctors, often health care practitioners, and social workers try to deal with the causes and effects of neglect and abuse. The team helps family members understand the child’s needs and helps them access local resources. For example, a child whose parents cannot afford health care may qualify for medical assistance from the state. Other community and government programs can provide assistance with food and shelter. Parents with substance abuse or mental health problems may be directed to appropriate treatment programs. Parenting programs are available in some areas.
All physical injuries and disorders are treated. Some children are hospitalized for treatment of injuries; sever undernutrition, or other disorders. Some severe injuries require surgery. Infants with shaken baby syndrome usually need to be admitted to a pediatric intensive care unit.
Sometimes healthy children are hospitalized to protect them from further abuse until appropriate home care can be ensured. Some children who have been sexually abused are given drugs to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, sometimes including HIV infection. Children who appear to be very upset need immediate counseling and support. Sexually abused children, even those who appear unaffected initially, are referred to a mental health care practitioner, because long-lasting problems are common. Long-term psychological counseling is often needed. Doctors refer other children for counseling if behavioral or emotional problems develop.
The goal of treatment is to return children to a safe, healthy family environment. Depending in the nature of the abuse and the abuser, children may go home with their family or may be removed from their home and placed with relatives or in foster care. This placement is often temporary, for example, until the parents can obtain housing or employment or until regular home visits by a social worker are established. In severe cases of neglect and abuse, the parents’ rights may be permanently terminated. In such cases, the child remains in foster care until the child is adopted or becomes an adult.
David Merck.
/from MerkPatient and Caregiver Web, Feb 1, 2003/
Set work
Say what is meant by:
family violence, immediate harm, substance abuse, personality disorder, childcare worker, foster care, to be privately schooled, to leave a child unattended, abdominal injuries, perpetrator, social isolation, a toileting accident, sexual gratification, caregiver, flawed, spurning, deviant behavior, undernourished, exposure, welts, disfigurement, doughnut, hemorrhage, to act in a suicidal way, withdrawn, threats of retaliation, environmental needs, health care practitioner, anemia, sexually transmitted diseases, to obtain housing.
Find in the article the English for:
недодавать кому-либо любви; удовлетворять ч-то важнейшие потребности; насилие в семье, «бытовуха»; …встречается в 3 раза чаще; низкая самооценка; доложить о ч-либо, сообщить; лишение родительских прав; обычный терапевтический осмотр; склонный к насилию человек; нанесение чрезмерных физических травм; подвергаться самому большому риску; нездоровая обстановка в семье; непрекращающийся; продолжающийся; быть спровоцированным ч-либо; преуменьшать, умалять ч-либо способности; заслуги; физический ущерб; не посещать школу; брат или сестра; надзор со стороны взрослых; ссадины; ожоги от сигарет; внутренние органы; окунуть в горячую ванну; опухоль; расстройство сна; смешанные чувства; чувствовать себя неуверенно; отрешенный; добровольно сделать ч-либо; быть травмированным; пройти рентген; реанимация; в крайних случаях.
Reveal the difference between the words below. Give examples to illustrate their usage.
Value-evaluation-estimation.
Explain why:
Child neglect and abuse often occur together.
Adults who were physically or sexually abused as children are more likely to abuse their own children.
Being a single parent, being poor, having problems with drug or alcohol abuse, or having a mental health problem can make a parent more likely to neglect or abuse a child.
A child’s risk of physical abuse decreases during the early school years and increases during adolescence.
Physical abuse is often triggered by a crisis in the midst of other stresses.
Most perpetrators of sexual abuse are stepfathers, uncles, or the mother’s boyfriends.
Children may feel emotionally close to the offender.
The behavior of children who are emotionally neglected may be mistaken for mental retardation or a physical disorder.
Neglect and abuse are often difficult to recognize.
Neglect and abuse may not be recognized for years.
Points for discussion.
What are the causes of physical/sexual/emotional abuse?
How can abused children be helped?
Are parents who were abused as children likely to abuse their own kids?
ЗА ЧТО УБИВАЮТ ДЕТЕЙ?
61 % Россиянок ненавидят малышей
Вера похожа на первоклассницу, хотя ей 15. Она весит всего 29 кг, не умеет читать и, кажется, разговаривать. Когда Вера жила дома, большую часть дня она проводила в комнате, прикованная к стене тяжеленной ржавой дверью. Из мебели было старое сиденье для автобуса. Мать отвязывала Веру, когда надо было постирать или покормить детей.
34-летняя Надежда рожала чуть ли не каждый год, кроме Веры у нее было 10 детей. Пятеро, правда, уже покинули этот неприветливый мир. Причиной смерти никто всерьез не интересовался. Остальные разгуливали в ссадинах и синяках. Соседи рассказывают, что мать била их, стараясь попасть по голове: кто-то из приятелей надоумил ее, что пенсия по инвалидности больше детского пособия.
Соседи жаловались на Надежду, звонили в милицию, в опеку. Органы реагировали, но только Надежда никого на порог не пускала: ее дом - ее право. В конце концов, милиция взяла дом штурмом, детей отобрали, мать и отца лишили родительских прав. Малыши сейчас кто в детском доме, кто в доме инвалидов. Отец нашел другую женщину. Надежда – в нижнетагильской колонии. Дали ей три с половиной года. Там, в тюрьме она родила еще одного ребенка.
«Как вы думаете, это от нищеты?» - спрашиваю я Нину Кухареву (она занималась этим делом), ведущего специалиста отдела образования Викуловского района Тюменской области. «Какая нищета! - возмущается она. – Не настолько Надежда была нищая. У нее видеомагнитофон был, кассет столько нашли, на полдеревни хватит. Она даже не пила никогда. Миллионы людей живут в нищете, но не убивают же своих детей!»
Социальные типы
Вам не кажется, что общество сходит с ума? За последние пять лет количество родителей, состоящих на учете в милиции, выросло почти вдвое.
А сколько еще ни на каком учете не стоит?! В учебнике по педиатрии черным по белому написано, что 90% родителей и взрослых, жестоко обращавшихся с детьми, не относились не к психически неполноценным, ни к асоциальным типам.
В Сатке (Челябинская область) семилетнего мальчишку убил отец – частный предприниматель. На теле ребенка обнаружили 58 ножевых ран. Папаша подозревал пацана в том, что тот таскает у него деньги.
В вологодской деревне Новое Лукино озверевший мужик вышвырнул из окна избы двухлетнего ребенка. К счастью, малыш остался жив.
Дикий случай произошел в Миассе (это тоже в Челябинской области). Опекун почти три года издевался над мальчиком и девочкой. Дети достались ему после смерти жены, оба едва окончили начальную школу. Мужик спал с обоими, угрожая: «Если расскажете кому, пойдете вслед за матерью на кладбище». Однажды сосед зашел в незапертую квартиру и застал преступника на месте преступления. Если бы не случайное разоблачение, никто не знает, сколько бы еще это продолжалось. Правда, потом соседи и знакомые вспомнили, что мальчик не раз отвечал им на вопрос, женился ли отчим: «А зачем ему жениться? У него есть жена – моя сестра», Только они не обращали на это внимания.
Матери-ехидны
Полковник милиции Тамара Иванова, рассказывая об очередной убийце, восклицает: «Кто же ей мешал оказаться от ребенка?! Сдать его в приют, лишь бы он был жив!» И тут же вспоминает – был случай в Подмосковье. Парень и девушка работали дворниками, поставили кровать в подвале рядом с отходами и жили. Родился у них ребеночек. Мать сказала: «Давай продадим». Отец каялся потом, клялся, что отговаривал. Не отговорил. Продали кроху за 10 тыс. рублей, 2 тыс. достались посредникам. Такой же случай был в Ставрополе летом – родители продали малыша цыганам. В документах написано – 1999 года рождения. Не младенца сбыли с рук, а все понимающего маленького человечка. «Ну, хоть не убили»,- говорит Тамара Константиновна.
Еще она говорит, что почти всегда первую скрипку играют женщины. Есть данные социологов: 61 % женщин испытали раздражение и злость к детям, 8 % говорили, что понимают тех, кто бьет детей. И тут же описывается очень распространенный случай: родители сажают ребенка в кипяток с прижатыми к животу коленями – в наказание за неумение пользоваться горшком.
Наказание
В уголовном кодексе есть статья 156, в которой говорится о неисполнении родителем обязанностей по воспитанию несовершеннолетнего, если это соединено с жестоким обращением с несовершеннолетним. Но, как правило, осужденные по этой статье попадают под амнистию, возвращаются в семью и продолжают издеваться над ребенком.
Добиться лишения родительских прав не так уж просто. В прошлом году в суды было направлено 26 тысяч материалов, а удовлетворили только половину. Причина? Отсуженных детей некуда девать. Они никому не нужны.
А психологи утверждают: мы сами виноваты. Вот гуляют мамочки с детьми. Ребятишки возятся в песочнице, взрослые стоят поодаль, разговаривают. У кого в руке сигарета, у кого – пиво. Если маленький попробует привлечь внимание, на него цыкнут: «Не мешай!» Дети мешают взрослым жить. Может быть, за это их ненавидят?!
Вероника Сивкова / «АиФ», № 23, 2000/
Set work
I. Give the English for:
первоклассница, быть прикованным к стене, ссадины, пенсия по инвалидности, состоять на учете в милиции, частный предприниматель, опекун, разоблачение, отказаться от ребенка, мать-ехидна, каяться, кипяток, не уметь пользоваться горшком, уголовная статья, отсуженные дети, стоять поодаль, цыкнуть на к-либо.
II. Find in the article the Russian for:
to storm the building, children’s home, to strip sb. of one’s parental rights, to be assigned to the case, to double, to mistreat children, mentally deficient, knife wounds, to fling sb. out of the window, the scene of the crime, cellar, to dissuade, mediator, to play the first fiddle, to romp.
III. Sum up the main points of the article.
IV. Account for the author’s choice of the headline and say why parents kill their offspring these days. Is it because the latter irritate the former as the author puts it?
A New Way of Understanding the Problems of Parents and Kids
The research in the field of attachment opens up a whole new world for all of us in the understanding the problems of parents and children. Attachment is the emotional connection between any two people. However, life’s first attachment are by far the most important, as they set a template for all later relationships. Attachment between kids and parents evolved naturally eons ago, as the infants and children who develop a strong need to remain near their parents were the ones who were most likely to survive – both physically and psychologically. Children who feel the most secure in their early relationships with parents have tremendous advantages in life. They tend to grow up feeling good about themselves and others. They cope well with life’s ups and downs, and they have a strong capacity for empathy. These kids naturally form other healthy, close relationships as they go out into the world. Kids who have not developed a healthy, secure attachment with parents tend to grow up feeling more insecure, disconnected and angry.
Three ingredients of attachment
There are three ingredients to a secure attachment relationship. The first is physical connection, which means plenty of touch and eye contact. Such things as cradling an infant while feeding, cuddling with a toddler before bedtime, and hugging a teenager increase the sense of physical connection, especially if touch and eye contact take place on a daily basis throughout the childhood years. The second ingredient is the emotional connection. Children sense their parents are connected on the emotional level when their parents are turned into their feelings. Infants feel their parents’ attunement when parents respond accurately to their infants’ cries or when they share their infants’ delight in new discoveries. Children sense the emotional connection when their parents emphasize with their feelings or provide them with comfort and reassurance. Even discipline, when carried out with empathy, can increase the emotional connection. Finally, children need an environment that is consistent, predictable, and safe in order to develop a quality of attachment. Children need to know that if their feelings or behaviors get out of control, their parents will remain steady and calm. They need to be able to depend on a consistent schedule, consistent limits, and consistent parental responses. Without this kind of safe, dependable environment a child will develop emotional walls which will prevent a secure attachment.
Obstacles to a Secure Attachment
All babies and children are biologically programmed to attach to their parents, but not all children develop quality detachments. There are several situations that can interfere with a good attachment. For example, children with a difficult temperament may be so highly active or so extreme in their emotions that their parents naturally have difficulty connecting with them either physically or emotionally. Children who endured an abusive or chaotic early life and who are later placed with an adoptive family may have emotional walls that are difficult to penetrate. Parents who live in stressful circumstances may have difficulty creating secure attachments. Out of necessity they may be so preoccupied with solving the problems of living and copying that they are unable to tune into their children’s feelings and needs. Parents with addictions are unable to stay attuned to their children or provide a consistent, safe environment because they are preoccupied with the addictive substance of behavior, and the whole family may be on the addictions roller coaster together. Finally parents who grew up without secure attachment relationships themselves often have difficulty providing the ingredients of a secure attachment relationship with their own children. Parents who did not experience nurturing and closeness growing up may feel uncomfortable with closeness, and may subsequently distance themselves from their kids. Parents who were mistreated as children may have a strong need to in control in order to avoid feeling vulnerable, and may therefore become excessively controlling with their children. Parents who were mistreated may perceive normal child misbehaviors as attempts to mistreat or hurt them, and may overreact in these situations. Parents who feel unlovable may fear their children don’t love them, and may attempt to placate their children or give them things to get them to love them more. Parents who were not securely attached in childhood may be disconnected from their own painful feelings, or they may be overwhelmed by painful feelings. Parents who experienced poor attachments are also more vulnerable to the use of addictive substances or behavior to cope.
There is Hope for Parents and Kids
Most parents love their kids and want to give them the best start in life possible. By gaining a clear understanding of attachment and the obstacles present in their own relationships with their own kids, parents can overcome these obstacles and strengthen the parent-child bonds. Parents who lacked quality bonds as children can be helped to identify and overcome the effects of their poor attachment histories so that they may give their children a better emotional start to life than the one they had. The book “The Whole Parent: How to Become a Terrific Parent Even If You Didn’t Have One”, by Debra Wesselmann, helps parents understand attachment, and teaches them how to provide the ingredients of a secure attachment for their children. The books helps parents who didn’t have the advantages of growing up with a quality attachment understand and overcome the effects of their early experiences in order to give their children a better emotional start to life than the one they had.
Debra Wesselmann
/ from the book “The Whole Parent: How to Become a Terrific Parent Even If You Didn’t Have One”/
Set work
I. Define the words and word combinations below.
Attachment, to set a template for, empathy, to feel insecure and disconnected, to cuddle with sb, before bedtime, to empathize with sb’s feelings, attachment, to be extreme in one’s emotions, to stay attuned to sb, to overreact, to placate, to strengthen the parent child bonds, ingredient.
II. Find in the article the English for:
эволюционировать, развиваться; много лет назад; сильная потребность; взлеты и падения; происходить постоянно, на протяжении всего детства; восторг по поводу новых открытий; качать, убаюкивать (ребенка); прививать дисциплинированность; сохранить спокойствие, присутствие духа; последовательный, четкий график; быть настроенным на одну и ту же волну; быть привязанным к родителями; трудный характер; установить физический/эмоциональный контакт с кем-либо; быть всецело занятым чем-либо; отдалиться от детей; чрезмерно контролировать своих детей; быть переполненным каким-либо чувством; преодолеть последствия ч-л.
III. Reveal the difference between the words below. Give examples to illustrate their usage.
To open – to open up;
to provide for – to provide with;
to grow – to grow up.
IV. Think of the best Russian translation for:
to form healthy relationships, to develop a secure attachment with parents, touch and eye contact, to be turned into sb.’s feelings, consistent and predictable environment, a quality attachment, safe and dependable environment, to develop emotional walls, to endure an abusive and chaotic early life, to live in stressful circumstances, parents with addictions, to experience nurturing and closeness, to be disconnected from one’s own painful feelings.
V. State the idea behind the lines below:
1. Children who feel the most secure in their early relationships with parents have tremendous advantages in life.
2. They tend to grow up feeling good about themselves and others.
3. These kids naturally form other healthy, close relationships as they go out into the world.
4. Children need an environment that is consistent, predictable, and safe in order to develop a quality attachment.
5. Without this kind of safe, dependable environment a child will develop emotional walls which will prevent a secure attachment.
6. Parents who live in stressful circumstances may have difficulty creating secure attachments.
7. Parents with addictions are unable to stay attuned to their children or provide a consistent, safe environment because they are preoccupied with the addictive substance or behavior, and the whole family may be on the addictions roller coaster together.
8. Parents who were not securely attached in childhood may be disconnected from their own painful feelings.
9. Most parents love their kids and want to give them the best start in life possible.
10. Parents who lacked quality bonds as children can be helped to identify and overcome the effects of their poor attachment histories so that they may give their children a better emotional start to life than the one they had.
VI. Points for discussion:
Is attachment between kids and parents of paramount importance?
What are the advantages of the secure attachment?
Are there any obstacles to a quality attachment? How can one overcome them?
Why is emotional attachment as important as physical?
Why are all babies and children biologically programmed to attach to their parents?
Can parents who grew up without secure attachment relationships provide a consistent and safe environment for their own kids?
How can parents/kids who feel unlovable be helped?
Is the book written by Debra Wesselmann a worthy one? Would you buy it? the nature of nurturing
A new study finds that how parents treat a child can shape which of his genes turn on.
Since people, not to mention families, are so infernally complicated, consider the rat. As soon as their wriggly little pups are born, rat mothers lick and groom them, but like mothers of other species they vary in getting every one of their offspring’s hairs in place. Pups whose mothers treat them like living lollipops grow up different from pups of less devoted mothers: particular genes in the pups brains are turned on “high”. These brain genes play a pivotal role in behavior. With genes turned up full blast, the rats churn out fewer stress hormones and, as adults, are more resistant to stress. These rats don’t startle as easily, are less fearful in the face of novel situations and braver when they have to explore an open field. In rats whose mothers did not lick them so much, the brain genes are not turned up so high (though they are very much present), and the pups grow up to be jumpy, angst-ridden and stressed-out. All because of how much Mom licked and groomed them.
Thanks to the experiments like these, the age-old nature-nurture controversy – is the person we become shaped more by the genes we inherit from our parents, or by our life experiences? – is growing up. Now the consensus is that we are shaped by both nature and nurture, also known as heredity and environment. An ambitious study of 720 pairs of adolescents with different degrees of genetic relatedness (from identical twins to step-siblings) reconciles nature and nurture by explaining how genetic tendencies are encouraged, or stifled, by specific parental responses. “Biology is not destiny”, psychologist David Reiss of George Washington University writes in the new book “the Relationship Code”, which describes his 12-year old study. “Many genetic factors, powerful as they may be in psychological development, exert their influence only through the good offices of their family.” And that means that how parents raise their children actually does matter.
To understand why, take a trait like shyness, which seems to be partly heritable. But it is not heritable the way, say, eye color is. If parents pamper and overprotect a shy toddler, she will probably remain shy; if they encourage, even force, her into spending time with other tykes, she has a good chance of overcoming it. Exactly how these different parental responses encourage or suppress, at the molecular level, genes that predispose for shyness remains a great unknown. But the general message is clear: gene expression is not foreordained. To have any effect, genes must be turned on. Whether, and how strongly, genes that underlie complex behaviors are turned on depends on the interaction and relationships a child has with the important people in his or her life.
Any new parent can see that children are born with innate temperaments. These traits - cuddly or cold, cranky or calm – “cause their parents… to respond to them in a certain way”, says Reiss. If a baby is unresponsive, most parents show her less affection; if the child is a holy terror, most parents scream, punish, hit or otherwise lash out. These very responses determine whether the gene underlying the trait is expressed or silenced, turned up or turned down. Genetic factors initiate a sequence of influences on development, but certain social processes are critical for the expression of these genetic influences.
With a problem kid, who is perpetually disobeying, acting out, threatening, hitting, parents typically meet threat with threat, violence with violence and coercion with coercion. That is likely to exaggerate the child’s innate proclivities and even increase the chances that will become seriously antisocial and even criminal. Kids with difficult temperament can be managed and set on a good course, or their innate tendencies can be magnified by the family and catapulted into conduct disorder. This is a concrete, testable model of how genes and environment interact.
A highly verbal toddler will likely elicit hour after hour of reading from her parents; that probably stimulates her innate cognitive tendencies. Later, she also develops self-confidence in her academic abilities, seeks out challenges and gains a reputation as a studious, bright kid.
Figuring out which environments turn up a gene and which turn it down is like trying to match the right soil to a delicate flower, only harder. Still, scientists have identified some links. Besides intellectual achievement, genetic factors seem to influence the first stirring of sociability and antisocial behavior. These glimmerings typically evoke parental responses that reinforce the nascent trait. A child with a difficult temperament – irritability, aggressiveness – brings on parents’ harsh discipline, verbal abuse, hostility and relentless criticism. That seems to exacerbate the child’s innate bad side, which only makes parents even more negative, on and on in a vicious cycle, until the adolescent loses all sense of responsibility and academic focus. Heritable characteristics of the child shape the level of parental hostility toward that child. Parent hostility then intensifies the child’s characteristics, making antisocial behavior more likely. But a social baby brings out a mother’s affection and encouragement, which reinforce those initial tendencies toward sociability.
If this explanation of how children develop is correct, it offers hope that with appropriate parenting, a child’s sociability sense of responsibility and cognitive development will bloom, and his tendency to antisocial behavior, academic failure and emotional problems plummet.
Reading and reading to a child who shows little interest, cuddling a baby who doesn’t cuddle back – won’t come easy. But it can happen.
Bill Chleeve
/ From Newsweek, Dec 12, 2001/
Set work
I. Practice the pronunciation of the words below and learn them.
Nurture, gene, infernally, controversy, heredity, reconcile, exert, hormone, stifle, foreordain, coercion, elicit, studious, nascent, exacerbate, wither, soothe, catapult.
II. Define the meaning of the words and word combinations below. Say how they were used in the article.
To groom sb., to churn out stress hormones, in the face of smth., angst-ridden, stressed-out, to be shaped by smth., age-old, step-sibling, to exert influence, to coddle and overprotect sb., tyke, to predispose for smth., to be foreordained, innate, cranky, to lash out, to initiate, to be perpetually disobeying, to act out, coercion, to become antisocial, to magnify, a testable model, to elicit smth., from sb., challenges, to figure out, the stirrings of smth. nascent, a vicious cycle, academic focus, to wither, to escalate anger, to soothe, to close one’s heart to sb., to underline.
III. State the difference between the words below. Give examples to illustrate their usage.
Heredity – inheritance;
to seek – to seek out;
to evoke – to arise;
to bring on – to bring about – to bring out;
affection – affectation – attachment.
IV. Find in the text the English for :
не говоря уже о…; вырасти не таким как; заботящаяся мать; играть определяющую роль в ч-л…; быть устойчивым, не поддаваться стрессу; вздрогнуть; нервный; спор, полемика; родство; приводить в соответствие; наследственная черта; цвет глаз; перестать быть застенчивым; принудить, вынудить к-то сделать ч-либо; подавать; на молекулярном уровне; чтобы возыметь хоть какой-нибудь эффект; человек, ставший родителем; нежный, мягкий (о чел.); реагировать соответствующим образом; не реагирующий ни на что ребенок; не ребенок, а просто кошмар; склонность; способствовать развитию познавательных способностей; направить ребенка на правильный путь; приобрести уверенность в себе; приобрести репутацию; прослыть к-либо; прихотливый цветок; установить некоторые связи, зависимость; общительность; ребенок с трудным характером; строгая дисциплина; словесное оскорбление, безжалостная критика; усугублять; родительская неприязнь; укреплять; это позволяет надеяться что…; должная родительская забота; что-то не дастся легко; вспыльчивый; подобным образом, аналогично; нервный, привередливый.
V. Explain what is meant by:
genes are turned on “high” , genes are turned up/down, the gene is expressed/silenced.
VI. Give the plural for:
hair, offspring.
VII. Give the words for the following definitions.
crucial, of main importance and influence;
to produce in large amounts;
nervously excited because of guilt or because one is expecting something bad to happen;
to take much care of a person or an animal, to show too much concern for sb.;
to arrange or decide from the very beginning that, or how, something or someone shall happen, act, or be done;
to succeed in drawing out smth. from sb., after much effort;
making an unwilling person or group do smth., by force, threats;
coming into existing or starting to change or develop;
to become reduce in size, colour, strength;
bad-tempered, capricious;
to find agreement between smth. that seems to be in opposition;
to hit hard;
a strong natural liking or tendency, esp. towards smth. bad;
fond of studying;
to make less angry, excited or anxious; comfort or calm;
a hard sweet made of boiled sugar and fixed on a stick, which is eaten by licking;
to make smth. worse, to aggravate;
anxious and considering the sad state of the world an/or the human condition;
the passing of possessions as well as qualities of mind and body from parents to children.
VIII. State the idea behind the given lines and enlarge on it.
Since people are so infernally complicated, consider the rat.
As soon their wriggly little pups are born, rat mothers lick and groom them, but like mothers of other species they vary in getting every one of their offspring’s hairs in place.
Pups whose mother treat them like living lollipops grow up different from pups of less devoted mothers.
Thank to experiments like these, the age-old nature-nurture controversy is growing.
An ambitious study of 720 pairs of adolescent with different degrees of genetic relatedness reconciles nature and nurture.
“Biology is not destiny”, David Reiss… writes in the new book.
Many genetic factors…exert their influence only through the good offices of the family.
Exactly how these parental responses encourage or suppress… genes that predispose for shyness remains a great unknown.
Genes must be returned on.
10. Family is like a catapult.
11. On a happier note, genes seem to have an early effect on verbal IQ.
12. Figuring out which environments turn up a gene and which turn it down is
like trying to match the right soil to a delicate flower, only harder.
13. These glimmerings typically evoke parental responses that reinforce the
nascent trait.
14. That seems to exacerbate the child’s innate bad side.
15. Reading and reading to a child who shows little interest, cuddling a baby
who doesn’t cuddle back – won’t come easy.
16. Mothers and fathers would be doing gene therapy on their children simply by
raising them.
IX. Find in the article several equivalents for the Russian “воспитывать”.
X. Sum up the article and formulate its key idea.
XI. Is the person we become shaped more by the genes we inherit from our parents, or by our life experience?
SUPPLEMENT
What’s got into the tweenies?
My friend Sarah says about her 11-year-old daughter. "Sometimes she is childlike and just wants a cuddle; at other times it is like being mother to Madonna. She and her friends dress up in micro-mini skirts and spend hours on their hair. They have got micro-boobs, too - size 32 triple A or something. They are already having mood swings and scouring their faces for spots. Can somebody tell me what is going on?"
At ten years old, my first daughter, Frances, was more turbulent than a dryer at full tilt. I remember complimenting her on a pretty top she was wearing. She walked out of the room to change it. I tried to emphasize, but by the age of 11 she was increasingly determined not to take any advice or sympathy I might offer. "I hate you," she stormed when I told her I had packed a coupled of sanitary towels "just in case" into her rucksack before summer camp.
It is not merely that our well-fed children arrive at adolescence earlier these days, although that is partly the case. Nor is it purely a question of commercial pressures forcing our nine-year-olds to conform to an advertised ideal. No, this is about hormones.
Pre-puberty is a developmental stage in its own right, says Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer, who has just written a book called Tweenies about children aged between eight and 12 years old, who fall outside the remit of most childcare guides. And she is astonished at how little we know about this early crisis of change and instability.
"Hormonal changes start about the age of eight in girls - long before any physical signs," she says. "There is an awful lot going on inside the child's body and moods will be affected before the periods start." With boys, hormonal changes occur later. "For them, it is much more a case of the gawky 14-year-old," she says.
In fact, pre-teen children are not being awkward - they are simply high on invisible hormones, says Dr Peter Hindmarsh, a pediatric endocrinologist at Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children in London. This discovery has come only in the past five years. "Before then it was impossible to measure hormone concentrations at low levels," says Dr Hindmarsh. "But you can now see that the sex hormones are pretty quiet until about seven or eight years of age, then they increase gradually over the next three to four years."
The hormones - estrogen for girls and testosterone for boys - start being produced at night, from the time children fall asleep until about 4am or 5am. Levels are not enough to stimulate breast and hair growth or to trigger menstruation, but they do affect the brain, hence die mood swings.
"Flossie has been a nightmare for months," says a friend from Manchester. "She will not take no for an answer. She is only ten but wants to get her ears pierced and is making a huge fuss about it. We suggested that she wait a while, but that is not good enough because 'all' her friends have had it done. She also seems to be watching what she eats and there is not an ounce of fat on her. But one word from us and she flounces upstairs, banging every door she passes. It is as though a teenager has come to live in my child's body."
Life can be cruel for modern pre-adolescents. No longer cute and captivating, nor yet terribly teenagery, they are assumed to be able to cope with a vast range of outside pressures. They have to deal with more school tests than previous generations and exhausting extracurricular timetables of organized "fun". On top of all this there are image pressures from the beauty, fashion and pop industries. Yet they are still only children.
Hardey-Brewer says that the problems of the pre-teen are quite different from those of the fully fledged teenager. "The adolescent crisis is: 'Where am I going to be as an adult?' The pre-adolescent crisis is: 'How do I measure up in the uncosseted world outside my family?' Tweenies are struggling to separate from the family, to check out how they fit in the outside world." The stress sets in long before parents expect it.
"My daughter is nine years old and has started puberty," writes one mother. "She has been very difficult with everyone. Her moods have been up and down for at least two weeks. She hasn't started her period yet. Help!" Another writes: "I am at a loss. I have an 11-year-old son who will not eat. His diet consists of peanut-butter sandwiches, popcorn and bagels. Not to mention junk food. At one time he would eat cereal but now that is a battle."
They may look like ten-year-olds, but our pre-adolescents' heads are buzzing with friendship problems, gender questions, moral dilemmas and anxieties about body image. Soon their limbs will elongate, body hair will sprout and everyone will realize what they have been going through. Until then they fight a lone crusade to be respected as subtly older, suddenly different.
Pre-teenagers often latch on to causes and issues outside the family in an effort to make their mark, Hardey-Brewer says. "As children develop the capacity for abstract thought, they begin to forge their own morality.
"They may become concerned for the suffering of others but have yet to develop the sophistication to see shades of grey. They are very rule-bound. An interest in animal rights can go alongside a tendency to anorexia and perfectionism." As one friend put it, after receiving an anti-alcohol lecture from her 11-year-old daughter "I find myself asking: where did Rachel’s childhood go? Then she comes to me crying about a scuffed knee and I think 'she's still my little girl.
Deborah Jackson
/ From The Times, Nov.18, 2004/
What are these observations suggestive of?
"To cane" or "not to cane" is still a question in an English school. Some English teachers, who are reluctant companions to this approach to education, say they simply need the cane "to be held back in reserve to maintain discipline among the troublemakers".
A Reader's Letter
It is characteristic of our society in Great Britain that the only persons who can be legally assaulted are children - one of the weakest sections. Empirical evidence has shown that corporal punishment does no good, can be positively harmful to some children and hides incompetent teachers and other deficiencies in our educational system. Britain and Ireland are the only countries in the world where it is allowed. In Scotland corporal punishment is more prevalent than in England and Wales. We are at present conducting a campaign for abolition and are taking a test case to the European Commission on Human Rights.
In support of our case we sent the Commission a tawse, one of the leather belts, 2 ft long x 1, 5 broad, 3/8 thick, which are used to inflict punishment - the Commission have written back , inquiring if we are sure these are the instruments used.
Problem children
(letter to the editor)
Sir,
Teachers in some secondary schools in Britain are worried that their job may become impossible shortly unless something' should be done to restore discipline in the classroom. In the problem schools mostly in large cities a small minority of teenage pupils deliberately disrupt lessons to such an extent that the teachers can no longer teach their classes effectively. Some within the teachers' unions consider that the permissive nature of modern society is responsible. Small children who are continually encouraged to express their individuality without restriction are naturally reluctant to accept school discipline when they grow older.
Furthermore, modern teaching techniques which appear to stress personal enjoyment at the expense of serious academic work might be teaching the child to put his own selfish interests before his duties to the community in which he lives.
Perhaps the problem can be solved by improving facilities for the psychological guidance of these difficult children, or by better cooperation between the schools and the parents, for the parents may be mainly responsible for the aggressive behaviour of their offspring.
But some of us believe that there ought to be a return to more old-fashioned methods. At present, in some schools teachers may not even slap a child who misbehaves. But personally I feel that caning should be reintroduced, and this might produce the desirable result.
ex-teacher Bakenham.
Should caning be reintroduced as a means of restoring discipline?
Are parents to blame for the aggressive behaviour of their offspring? children
“MUST HAVE A CHILDHOOD”
Children are under increasing pressure to grow up and must be allowed a childhood, teachers have demanded.
Members of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers said children's rights, such as the right to education, should include the right to a childhood.
Delegates at the ATL's conference in Gateshead said it was too "uncool" for children to be children. Kay Johansson, a teacher from Denbighshire, north Wales, said "they seem afraid to play." A teacher at Rhyl High School said: "In the schoolyard where I used to see children playing games that would keep them fit, teach them social skills and stimulate their creativity I now see groups of children standing around discussing who has the most expensive pair of trainers or the latest mobile phone."
Mrs. Johansson has worked in the profession for nearly 40 years and said the children's values were frequently not their parents'. "All too often the values and attitudes of our children are the latest offering of the young male advertising executive who wants to make a large bonus by increasing the profits of his latest client. With their own peer groups as role models rather than responsible adults they are more likely to find out about the very things we should be protecting them from. The more and more that children gain access to this adult world the more they believe they are adult. This idea is happily reinforced by the type of companies that produce sexy undies and seductive party clothes for six-year-olds and cheeky ring-tones for their phones." She said none of this helped teachers do their jobs and children were being "robbed of their childhood".
Maxine Bradshaw, from Ysgol Llywelyn, also in Denbighshire, said there was no clear division between adulthood and childhood. "Too often children are treated as equals rather than minors," she told delegates. She told the conference about a poem written by a child in her class of eight and nine-year-olds. It read: 'Happiness is being able to pay the mortgage'. "Where was that child's right to a childhood, free from the dangers of adulthood?"
John Faulkner
/The Times, Dec 10, 2006/
PARENTS URGED TO TALK TO CHILDREN
Too much television and a lack of family meals are damaging children's conversational ability, a report says.
The Basic Skills Agency found many parents did not "see the point" of developing verbal skills, focusing instead on reading and writing. Some four-year-olds threw tantrums in class because they could not communicate in any other way. The BSA wants primary school teachers to work with families to improve children's conversation. Its report - Talk to Me - says verbal skills are declining "year on year". It says all-day television, parents' long working hours and the "decline of the family meal" are causes of poor communication. It also cites the "splintering" of families into different rooms in the house, with children as young as four watching TV alone in their bedrooms.
The increased use of forward-facing buggies means babies and toddlers have less chance to communicate with parents, the report adds. The "greatest impact" on children's verbal skills was among disadvantaged families.
The report backs US research conducted in the mid-1990s, which found that by the time they started school a child of professional parents had heard about 50 million words. For those of working-class background it was 30 million and for those with parents on income support it was 12 million.
BSA report author Sue Palmer found parents were "wary of schools interfering in their family life and resentful of any suggestion that they don't know what's best for their children".
The gap between homes and classrooms had increased since 1996, when a gunman killed 16 children and their teacher at a school in Dunblane. With greater security in place, primary schools had "struggled to remain the inviting, welcoming places they once were", Ms Palmerfound. Her report calls for head teachers to make more use of parent-helpers and to invite parents in more often. It says: "When it comes down to it, it's hope - not objectives, targets or evidence - that motivates people. Hope is what gives us the energy to make time to make connections, and we ignore its immeasurable importance adulthood."
John Faulkner
/The Times, Dec. 10, 2006/
What the scientists are saying…
Why papa is everywhere
Wherever you go in the world, the male parent is addressed in more or less the same way. In France, children call their father "papa" - and the same is true of children living deep in the Amazon rainforest. In Swahili and Mandarin, fathers are addressed as "baba"; in Malay "bapa". Now a new study has underlined just how prevalent the word is. When researchers examined 1,000 languages, they found that 70% of them included the word "papa". The received wisdom is that these words developed across cultures and continents because they are so easily pronounced. But the latest findings have prompted a controversial new theory: the existence of a single proto-language, spoken by our Neanderthal forebears more than 50,000 years ago, from which all other languages are descended. "There is only one explanation for the consistent meaning of the word 'papa': a common ancestry," said Dr Pierre Bancel, who led the study. However, he admitted that the hypothesis could never be proven. "We have no Neanderthals around to ask."
Shouting as bad as smacking children
Shouting at children can be as harmful as smacking them because it dents their self-esteem and causes feelings of insecurity.
An eight-year study of nursery age children in Denmark found that they saw little difference between verbal and physical violence. The majority of youngsters said they frequently felt adults were angry with them long after they had finished shouting. Children often felt upset even when parents and teachers did not think they had raised their voices.
Erik Sigsgaard, of the Danish Centre for Research in Institutions, who conducted the research, said punishing children was wrong because it damaged their self-respect. He advised parents to discipline children in a normal voice.
Are cloth nappies no greener?
Parents who try to do their bit for the planet by putting their children into reusable nappies may be labouring in vain: scientists have calculated that cloth nappies are no better for the environment than disposable ones. Around seven million disposable nappies are used every day, and they are largest contributor to landfill sites, taking up between 2% and 8% of volume. However, re-using nappies has its own environmental costs, in the shape of the water, fuel and detergent it takes to wash and dry them. Now after a four-year study of 2,000 parents, the Environment Agency has concluded both types of nappies are about as bad as each other. “It’s not much use to solve a landfill problem only to create rising demand for energy and water”, said the Agency’s Martin Brocklehurst.
Winners dress in red
Wearing red can give competitors a sporting advantage; scientists analysed the results of four combat sports during the 2004 Olympics – boxing, tae kwon do, Greko-Roman wrestling and freestyle wrestling – and found that the athletes who wore red won significantly more fights than those in blue, even though the colours were randomly assigned. Further analysis indicated that wearing red – a colour associated with aggression – tipped the balance when the fighters were more or less evenly matched. “Whether red suppresses the testosterone of the individual wearing red, we don’t know at the moment,” Dr Robert Barton of Durham University told BBC Online. “My hunch is that there is a bit of both going on”.
Pretty children are better looked after
It's bad enough that the beautiful people find it easier to get good jobs get paid more and are generally considered cleverer and more likeable than their plainer contemporaries. Now further research has revealed that they even get better looked after as children. For the study, scientists observed interactions between parents and their offspring in supermarkets. They noted that the more attractive the children, the more carefully the parents looked after them. For instance, women buckled 4 % of plain children into supermarket trolleys, compared with 13 % of pretty children.
Music lessons boost brain power
Learning a musical instrument can make children brainier. It's well known that children who take music lessons often do better at school, but up until now, people assumed that this was because those children tend to be from wealthier, better-educated families. However, Canadian researchers have discovered that the phenomenon has got nothing to do with wealth or class. They took a group of children under six from a range of backgrounds and gave them free music classes. When the children sat IQ tests nine months later, they scored on average three points more than children who had not had the lessons. "I think what you're seeing is the beneficial effect of more schooling," said Dr Glen Schellenberg, who led the study. Children could probably get the same effect.
TEAMWORK
a) Work in groups of three or four. Decide which of the following statements
you agree or disagree with. Discuss these with the other members of your
group. Be ready to report your discussion to other groups.
1. There's never a problem child, there are only problem parents. 2. Anyone who expects quick results in child upbringing is an incurable optimist 3. Under dictatorial control adolescents work submissively, show little initiative. 4. Happiness may be defined as the state of minimal repression. 5. Healthy children do not fear the future, thеу anticipate it gladly. 6. The adults who fear that youth will be corrupted by freedom are those who are corrupt themselves.
b) Pair work. Agree or disagree with the statements below. Be sure to provide
sound arguments. Consider the following points and extend them whenever
possible:
Children are not supposed to have their opinion, but if they do, the adults ignore them.
The difference between a child and an adult amounts to achieving the state of independence.
The most painful time is adolescence with intense feelings, lack of confidence and rebellion against authority.
The essence of happiness is complete freedom from care.
Most adults think of their childhood as being most happy time.
с) Tips to Follow
Take a Look at Yourself
Children pattern themselves on their parents. If you have certain traits you don’t want your children to inherit, make a constant effort to get rid of these qualities. In other words one of the most effective ways to child control is self-control.
Be relaxed. If you are ill at ease with children, they know it and become uneasy themselves. Children are very sensitive to tension.
Assert your authority. From the beginning try to make it clear to the children that while you love them and make any reasonable sacrifices for them, they are not rulers and have limited privileges and definite obligations.
Don’t expect miracles. The rule is particularly important in trying to cope with children. It is both unfair and unwise to expect miracles.
5. Be consistent. Few things upset a child more than indecisive and
erratic treatment from two people who represent law and order and
stability in his world – his parents.
A.Linkletter
/From The Secret World of Kids/
Say what you think of every tip mentioned. What other tips would you advise following?
d) Work in pairs or in small groins. Discuss problems of child upbringing
outlined in the extracts below:
Timidity. It is another common personal defect in children. A reasonable amount of timidity is normal enough. But some children are more fearful than others. Don't force the child to face his fears! Most children outgrow their timidity.
Selfishness. Many parents complain that their children are self-centered, never think of anyone but themselves. Have no sense of responsibility. Won't share things and so on... Selfishness is often prolonged in kids by parents who tend to make slaves of themselves for the children's benefit.
Permissiveness. It is high time to stop being permissive to children. It is urgent to change your attitude and learn to take a stand and be tough in your love.
e) Comment on the statements below.
In the little world in which children have their existence, whosoever brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt, as injustice.
Charles Dickens
Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies. Nobody that matters, that is.
Edna St Vincent Millay
There is no end to the violations committed by children on children, quietly talking alone.
Elizabeth Bowen
A child is a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
Monsignor Ronald Kuox
Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.
David Lodge
When children are doing nothing they are doing mischief.
H. Fielding
Teach your child to hold his tongue and he will learn to speak fast.
B. Franklin
Anger is never without a reason, but seldom without a good one.
B. Franklin
If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses.
Goethe
We are all geniuses up to the age of ten.
A. Huxley
Children begin by loving parents, as they grow older they judge them, sometimes they forgive them.
O. Wilde
One of the most obvious facts about grown-ups, to a child, is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child.
Randall Jarrell
A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong.
ThomasSzasz
If you strike a child take care that you strike it in anger, even at the risk of maiming it for life. A blow in cold blood neither can nor should be forgiven.
George B.Shaw
I say violence is necessary. It is as American as cherry pie.
H. Rap Brown
16. Keep violence in the mind where it belongs.
Brian Aldiss
17. There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.
Graham Greene
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Bible
Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.
William Penn
The parent who could see his boy as he really is would shake his head and say: “Willie is no good; I’ll sell him”.
Stephen Leacock
Parents love their children more than children love their parents.
Auctoritates Aristotelis
The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears.
Francis Bacon
23. Parents learn a lot from their children about coping with life.
Francis Bacon
24. Oh, what a tangled Web do parent weave
When they think that their children are naïve.
Ogden Wash
25. Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever
imposed in the interest of the children.
George Bernard Shaw
26. The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their
children.
Edward VIII
28. “It takes a long time to grow young”.
Picasso
29. “Creative thinkers make many false starts, and continually waver between unmanageable fantasies and systematic attack”.
Harry Hepner
30. “By the time the child can draw more than a scribble, by age three or four years, an already well-formed body of conceptual knowledge formulated language dominates his memory and controls his graphic work. Drawings are graphic accounts of essentially verbal education gains control, the child abandons his graphic efforts and relies almost entirely on words. Language has first spoiled drawing and then swallowed it up completely.
Psychologist, Karl Buhler
Л.М. Кузнецова, ж.Л. Ширяева problem parents or problem children
Учебное пособие
Редактор В.И. Буланова. Подписано в печать – 16.02.2007г.
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