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ГОСУДАРСТВЕННОЕ ОБРАЗОВАТЕЛЬНОЕ УЧРЕЖДЕНИЕ

ВЫСШЕГО ПРОФЕССИОНАЛЬНОГО ОБРАЗОВАНИЯ

«Липецкий государственный педагогический университет»

Л.М. Кузнецова, Ж.Л. Ширяева

PROBLEM PARENTS OR PROBLEM CHILDREN?

Липецк – 2007

УДК-43 (071.1) Печатается по решению

ББК 81.432.1 - 923 редакционно-издательского

совета ЛГПУ

Л.М.Кузнецова, Ж.Л.Ширяева. PROBLEM PARENTS OR PROBLEM CHILDREN? Пособие для студентов старших курсов факультета иностранных языков (английское отделение). – Липецк, ЛГПУ, 2007 – 155с.

Рецензент: зав. каф. КОИО

к.ф.н., доц. В.П. Бойко

© ГОУ ВПО Липецкий государственный педагогический университет

Липецк – 2007

Contents

Preface

Part I. Problem Children

Ready! Steady! No! (test) John Ferrimah.

Cries and Whispers. Peg Tyre.

The Lumber Room (Extract / Part 1). Hector Munro.

Можно ли заставить ребенка слушаться? Бенжамин Спок.

The Lumber Room (Extract / Part 2). Hector Munro.

Очередь за лаской. Лидия Суворова.

The Difficult Child. L.G. Pamuchina, T.G.Shekova.

Между двух огней. Алла Булатова.

The Difficult Child (a list of words).

The Spoiled Child. Alife Kohn.

Разве ж это дети… Катаржина Лангрен.

Obedience (poem). Garrison Keillor.

Former Stamp Collector Jason Cowley on Why Being Cool Leaves him Сold. Judith Martin.

Children are our Best Teachers.

Future Toy Boy. Sarah Sennott.

Part II. Problem Parents

Should you Smack Children? John Slaiks.

Ten Reasons Not to Hit your Kids. Jan Hunt.

Порка делу не поможет. Диана Колосова.

Hyperactive? Just Go to a Park and Climb a Tree. Jane Barron.

Permissiveness: “A Beautiful Idea” That Didn’t Work? Людмила Памухина. Тамара Шелкова.

Юный император или чопорный джентльмен? Игорь Рябцев.

We Preach Baby Worship but Practise Baby Farming. James Whirly.

Хороший ли я родитель? (тест)

When Parents are Toxic to Children. Keith Ablow.

Do Parents Know their Kids? Steve Rouge.

High Anxiety Screws Up Our Hi-Tech Heaven. John Lurks.

A Nation of Wimps. Hara Estroff Marano.

The Waiter was Wired. Jan Mackinnon.

Child Neglect and Abuse. David Merck.

За что убивают детей. Вероника Сивкова.

A New Way of Understanding the Problems of Parents and Kids. Debra Wesselmann.

The Nature of Nurturing. Bill Cleeve.

Supplement.

PREFACE

Having and raising a baby is part and parcel of most people’s lives; that’s what makes the family happy, complete and close-knit. The toddler’s first steps, as well as the first loss of a milk tooth and the child’s first uttered words can’t but stick in the parent’s memory. All parents are so sentimental about their children’s firsts! However, on the darker side there are quite a few hurdles which parenting inevitably entails. Both children and parents may turn out to be hard to deal with. Read through the book and decide for yourself whether it is harder to bring up a problem kid or to be brought up by a problem parent.

Part I. Problem Children

Ready! Steady! No!

Are you ready to have children? Try these simple tests.

The mess test. Smear peanut butter all over your hands, then rub on the sofa, curtains and walls. Draw pictures of dinosaurs with crayons on your favourite wallpaper. Place a fish stick behind your bed and leave it there all summer.

The toy test. Obtain a 55-gallon tub of Lego. (If Lego is not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles). Have a friend spread the contents all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Walk to the kitchen or bathroom barefoot without screaming.

The supermarket test. Borrow two goats and take them with you to the supermarket. Always keep both of them in sight and be prepared to pay for anything they eat or damage.

The dressing test. Obtain one large unhappy live octopus. Stuff it into a small net bag, making sure all the arms stay inside.

The feeding test. Half fill a large plastic jug with water and suspend it from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an aeroplane. When you’ve finished, dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

The night test. Fill a small cloth bag with a 4-6 kilos of sand. Soak thoroughly in water. At 8 pm start to waltz and hum while holding the bag. At 9 pm., lay down the bag and set your alarm for 10 pm. Get up, pick up the bag and sing every song you have ever heard. Continue singing (be inventive) until 4am. Lay down bag. Set alarm for 6 am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.

The physical test (women). Go to the nearest chemist. Hand your wallet to the assistant and ask her to help herself. Go to the nearest supermarket. Ask to see the manager and arrange to have your pay cheque deposited there directly. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

Final assignment. Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, toilet training and child’s table manners. Give them as much advice as you can for as long as you can. Enjoy this experience. It is the last time you will have all the answers.

John Ferrimah

/Digest, 14, 2005/