1. The Five Styles of Conflict Resolution [Электронный ресурс]. – Режим доступа к документу : http://www.Notredameonline.Com/conflict-resolution-styles/

2. Conflict Resolution [Электронный ресурс]. – Режим доступа к документу : http://www.Mindtools.Com/pages/article/newLdr_81.Htm

3. Conflict Management Skills [Электронный ресурс]. – Режим доступа к документу : http://www.buzzle.com/articles/conflict-management-skills.html

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Section 4 The Ways of Solving Conflicts

Panfilova Julia, Kovalenko Taisia, Kozlova Polina

Conflicts come up everywhere, whether at home, school or work. Choosing to ignore them may only lead to worsened problems, while handling them in an angry manner may destroy relationships permanently. For these reasons, effective conflict resolution skills are vital and will help reduce aggressiveness and lower tension. Additionally, conflict resolution encourages things like listening, being accepting of other ideas and taking responsibility for actions.

Instructions

1. Decide whether you want to confront the person who is bothering you. It is usually better to air grievances in the open than to let them fester.

2. Speak to the other person calmly, politely and rationally. Focus on the situation and facts, avoiding gossip and personal attacks.

3. Be careful not to express hostility in your posture, facial expression or tone. Be assertive without being aggressive.

4. Listen to the other person carefully: What is she trying to say? Be sure you understand her position.

5. Express interest in what the other person is saying. You can acknowledge her ideas without necessarily agreeing or submitting. Saying, "I understand that you feel this way. Here's how I feel..." acknowledges both positions.

6. Communicate clearly what you want, offering positive suggestions and recommendations. Be willing to be flexible.

7. Speak to your supervisor if a problem with a difficult co-worker seriously threatens your work, but avoid whining.

Use “I” Statements

When communicating during a conflict, do not attempt to put words in the mouths of others or make accusations. Stick to your own thoughts and feelings, since those are the only things you are qualified to speak of in an argument. Succumbing to the temptation of using the word "you" only puts others on the defensive and increases feelings of hostility.

Practice Active Listening

In a conflict, each participant must put the emphasis on listening rather than speaking. Let the person have his say without interrupting, and then acknowledge that you understand by restating the message back to him. Ask questions, but ensure that they do not take on an accusatory tone. Make your questions of a factual or exploratory nature, while avoiding ones that begin with "why?" as that indicates that you are challenging the other person's feelings.

One Issue at a Time

Sometimes one argument leads to multiple arguments on various subjects. Focus the conversation on the primary conflict, resisting the urge to get sidetracked and bring up an unrelated source of agitation in the process. Trying to tackle numerous conflicts at once only adds more frustration to all parties and makes it more difficult to come to a peaceful resolution. In the event that another topic surfaces, diffuse any tension by acknowledging the concerns and agreeing to return to it once the present matter is addressed.

Accept Blame

A natural tendency in any argument involves deflecting responsibility, or pinning all the guilt on the other person, according to Learning Peace. Successfully resolving a conflict means that everyone involved willingly takes a share of the blame so that no one is left feeling attacked. The primary purpose of conflict resolution is solving a problem in an effective manner so that all participants feel satisfied.

Move On

A conflict is not a battle, and when handled properly, does not have winners and losers. Everyone should come out of the conflict feeling validated and willing to put the issue behind them forever. A good way of demonstrating this involves offering a friendly gesture, including a hug, handshake or even simple thanks.

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Lighten the Moment

Life can get too serious. Lighten conflict when appropriate to get people facing their differences.

Humor is one-way to reduce tension. In fact, humor is often a release of tension. One company owner in a meeting observed the secretary verbally dominate the marketing director Jim over a tactic to acquire customers. The owner interrupted his secretary: “Okay. We could settle this in the boxing ring, but the board of directors will probably fire me for employee abuse… What do you think Jim, about the tactic to acquire customers?”

Another way to lighten conflict is with a tactic from the first chapter of my Communication Secrets of Powerful People program: use padded words. The technique softens what can be harsh. Examples of padded words include: “I feel there’s a small issue to face…”, “It’s not much, but I’d like to…”, and “Maybe we can…”

Do not overuse padded words otherwise it blurs the issue causing your message to lose its intended meaning. Be aware that softening conflict can be a form of avoidance. Keep the conversation light if it gets intense yet be sure to address the issue.

Observe Body Language

An effective technique to encourage open communication and face conflict when someone avoids it is to observe people’s body language. Emotions show through attitude, behavior, or expression. All three are nonverbally communicated.

“Even when a person avoids conflict, their emotions are visible through bodily expressions.”

Nonverbal communication doesn’t just hint at what’s going on inside a person, it is what’s going on inside a person. Even when a person avoids conflict, their emotions are visible through bodily expressions. If a guy doesn’t say what he feels (“I am angry”), you’ll see the emotion in more potentially harmful ways of attitude and behavior like sarcasm, avoidance, gossip, and forms of addiction.

Comment on the specific body language signals you pick up on. If you just say, “You look frustrated. Is there something you want to tell me?”, the nice conflict avoider will reply, “No”. Be specific by saying, “When I said I need you to work overtime, you turned your head then rolled your eyes. It seems you were bothered by my request. That’s okay. Share with me what’s on your mind.”

Conflict resolution is conceptualized as the methods and processes involved in facilitating the peaceful ending of conflict. Often, committed group members attempt to resolve group conflicts by actively communicating information about their conflicting motives or ideologies to the rest of the group (e.g., intentions; reasons for holding certain beliefs), and by engaging in collective negotiation.

Ultimately, a wide range of methods and procedures for addressing conflict exist, including but not limited to, negotiation, mediation, diplomacy, and creative peacebuilding.

Focus on content

Focus on article content, not on editor conduct. Wikipedia is built upon the principle of collaboration, and assuming that the efforts of others are in good faith is important to our community. Bringing up conduct often leads to painful digressions and misunderstandings.

It can be difficult to focus on content if other editors appear to be uncivil or stubborn. Stay cool! It is never to your benefit to respond in kind, which will only serve to derail the discussion. When it becomes too difficult or exhausting to maintain a civil discussion based on content, you should seriously consider going to an appropriate dispute resolution venue detailed below.

Receive outside help for content disputes:

General advice

The Dispute resolution noticeboard is maintained by editors experienced in resolving disputes and is a good starting point among the other DR procedures. It can help diffuse small content issues, and assist in pointing people to the best forum for resolving larger issues. It can also assist if the dispute needs raising at another venue.

Third opinion

Third opinions is an excellent venue for small disputes involving only two editors.

Request community input on article content

Request for comment (RfC) is a process to request community-wide input on article content. RfCs can be used when there is a content-related dispute, or simply to get input from other editors before making a change. To solicit responses from a large number of editors, RfCs can be publicized via noticeboards or relevant WikiProject talk pages. An RfC bot will also automatically notify the feedback request service pool of editors. RfC discussions related to article content take place on article Talk pages.

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Disengage

Most situations are not urgent. Give both yourself and the other party some time. Often it helps to just take a deep breath and sleep on it. Don't worry! Because there are no deadlines, you can always fix the problem later.

Take a long term view. You will probably be able to return and carry on editing an article when the previous problems no longer exist and the editor you were in dispute with might themselves move on. The disputed article will continue to evolve, other editors may become interested and they will have different perspectives if the issue comes up again.

This is particularly helpful when you're in a dispute with new users as it gives them a chance to familiarize themselves with Wikipedia's policy and culture. Focus your contributions on another article where you can make constructive progress.

References:

1. Авдеев В. В. Психотехнология решения проблемных ситуаций / В. В. Авдеев. – М. : Феникс, 2004.

2. Войкунский А. Я говорю, мы говорим: Очерки о человеческом общении / А. Войкунский. – М. : Прогресс, 1990. – 238 с.

3. Зеркин Д. П. Основы конфликтологии.: Курс лекций / Д. П. Зеркин. – Ростов н/Д. : Феникс, 2008. – 480 с.

4. Князева М. Н. Конфликт / М. Н. Князева. – № 2. – ЭКО, 1992.

5. Мелибруда Е. Я-ты-мы: Психологические возможности улучшения общения / Е. Мелибруда. – Пер. с польс. – М. : Прогресс, 1986. – 256 с.

6. Скотт Г. Джинни. Конфликты: пути преодоления / Скотт Г. Джинни. – Пер. с англ. – Киев : Издат. Об-во “Верзилин и КЛТД”, 1991.

7. Шуман С. Г., Шуман В. П. Семейные конфликты: причины, пути устранения / С. Г. Шуман, В. П. Шуман. – Брест, 2004.

8. Conflict resolution [Электронный ресурс]. – Режим доступа к документу : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_resolution

9. Ways of Solving Conflict [Электронный ресурс]. – Режим доступа к документу : http://www.ehow.com/list_7351791_ways-solving-conflict.html

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