Augustus does his bit

1. May I offer you a chair, lady? (ShAug)

2. Lady: You feel sure you will be able to resist the siren. I warn you, she is very fascinating

3. Augustus: You need not fear, madam. I hope she will come and try on it (ShAug)

4. Lady: I will be silent as a grave, I swear it (ShAug).

5. I don’t ask you, sir; and I will not allow to say such things in my presence (ShAug).

6. Do you call that being great statesmen? As good as robbing me, I call it (ShAug).

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B. Shaw “Man and Superman”2 London: Penguin Books 1957 (ShMs)

1. Octavius: At all events I promise you I shall never shall never ask anyone else (ShMS :45).

2. Ramsden (forcibly): now I tell you, once for all, I can’t and I won’t have Annie placed in such a position that she must, out of regret for you, suffer the intimacy of this fellow Tanner (ShMS :46)

3. Ramsden: When you say Ann, you mean, I presume, Miss Whitefield.

I mean our Ann, your Ann, Tavy’s Ann, and now, Heaven help me, my Ann!

Octavius (rising, very pale): What do you mean?

Tanner: Mean! (He holds up the will.) Do you know who is appointed Ann’s guardian by this will?

Ramsden (Cooly): I believe I am. (ShMS :48)

4. Tanner: I tell you, this is the most staggering blow that has ever fallen on a man of my age and temperament (ShMS :48)

5. Ramsden: You can refuse to accept the guardianship. I shall certainly refuse to hold it jointly with you. (ShMS :49)

6. Tanner: That shows that he had his wits about him, doesn’t it?

Ramsden (grimly): I admit it (ShMS :50)

7. Octavius: May I make a suggestion? (ShMS :51)

8. Tanner: All you mean by that is that you think I ought to be ashamed of talking about my virtues. You don’t mean that I haven’t got them: you know perfectly well that I am as sober and honest a citizen as yourself, as truthful personally, and much more truthful politically and morally.

Ramsden (touched on his most sensetive point): I deny that. I will not allow you or any man to treat me as if I were a mere member of the British public. I detest its prejudices; I scorn its narrowness; I demand the right to think for myself. You pose as an advanced man. Let me tell you that I was an advanced man before you were born.

Tanner: I knew it was a long time ago.

Ramsden; I am as advanced as ever I was. I defy you to prove that I have ever hauled down the flag. I am more advanced than ever I was. I grow more advanced every day.

Tanner: More advanced in years, Polonius.

Ramsden: Polonius! So you are Hamlet, I suppose.

Tanner: No: I am only the most impudent person you’ve ever met. … You have to fall back on my deficiency in shame. Well, I admit it. I even congratulate myself; for if I were ashamed of my real self, I should cut as stupid a figure as any of the rest of you. Cultivate a little impudence, Ramsden; and you will become a remarkable man. … You have no desire for that sort of notoriety. Bless you, I knew that answer would come as well as I know that a box of matches will come out of an automatic machine when I put a penny in the slo… (ShMS :53)

9. Ramsden:I am afraid I shall have to ask you to choose between my sole guardianship and that of Mr Tanner; for I fear it is impossible for us to undertake a joint arrangement.

Ann (in a musical voice): Mamma –

Mrs Whitefield (Hastily) Now, Ann, I do beg you not to put it on me. (ShMS:56)

10. Ramsden (biting his lip) You approve of your father’s choice, then?

Ann: It is not for me to approve or disapprove. I accept it (ShMS :56).

11. Tanner: Ramsden thinks I am not fit to be your guardian; and I quite agree with him (ShMS: 57)

12. Ramsden (vehemently): If I am to be your guardian, I positively forbid you to read this book, Annie. (ShMS:57).

13. Ramsden: I greatly object to act with Mr Tanner: that’s all ShMS: 58).

14. Ramsden: I insist on Granny (ShMS: 59)

15. Tanner: Oh, for Heaven’s sake don’t try to invent anything worse. I capitulate. I consent to Jack. I embrace Jack. Here andeth my first and last attempt to assert my authority (ShMS: 59)

16. Octavius:…I want to write a great play.

Tanner: With Ann as the heroine?

Octavius: Yes: I confess it (ShMS: 60).

17. Ramsden: How dare you, sir, impute such monstrous intentions to me? I protest against it (ShMS: 65).

18. Ramsden: … If there is any man of notoriously loose principles among us –

Tanner: Ahem!

Ramsden (raising his voice): Yes, sir, I repeat, if there is any man of notoriously loose principles among us… (ShMS:66)

19. Tanner: Guilt itself could not stammer more confusedly. And yet you know perfectly well he’s innocent, Tavy.

Ramsden: I am glad you admit that, sir. I admit, myself, that there is an element of truth in what you say… (ShMS: 66).

20. Tanner: Ann: as you guardian, I order you to go to Violet at once and to be particularly kind to her (ShMS:67).

21. Octavius: I assure you all, on my word, I never meant to be selfish (ShMS: 68).

22. Tanner: Now I swear you I told you things I told no one else (ShMS: 70).

23. Tanner: …I didn’t choose to be cut to your measure. And I won’t be cut to it.

Ann: Nobody wants you to, Jack. I assure you – really on my word – I don’t mind your queer opinions one little bit. (ShMS:77)

24. Tanner: I beg you to hear…. I am altogether on your side in this matter. I congratulate you, with the sincerest respect, on having the courage to do what you have done…. (ShMS: 81).

25. Tanner: I am utterly crushed. I meant well. I apologize – abjectly apologize. (ShMS: 82).

26. Tanner: By the way, let me introduce you. Mr Octavius Robinson : Mr Enry Straker.

Straker: Pleased to meet you, sir. (ShMS: 87)

27. Tanner: In short, you agree with Ann.

28. Octavius: No; but I think I understand her. You must admit that your views are hardly suited for the formation of a young girl’s mind and character.

Tanner: I admit nothing of the sort. I admit that the formation of a young lady’s mind and character usually consists in telling her lies; but I object to the particular lie that I am in the habit of abusing the confidence of girls. (ShMS: 94).

29. Tanner: I give you leave. I am your guardian; and I commit you to Tavy’s care for the next hour. (ShMS:95)

30. Ann: Even you, who are a man, cannot say what you think without being misunderstood and vilified – yes: I admit it: I have had to vilify you. (ShMS:96)

31. Tanner: Oh, I protest against the vile abjection of youth to age! (ShMS: 97).

32. Ann: Oh, I forgot: you have not met Mr Malone. Mr Tanner, my guardian: Mr Hector Malone.

Hector: Pleased to meet you Mr Tanner. I should like to suggest an extension of the travelling party to Nice, if I may (ShMS: 101).

33. Hector: I ask to be allowed the pleasure of showing you my little American steam car, Miss Rawbnsn. (ShMS:105).

34. Tanner: Miss Whitefield is supposed to be coming with me. Straker: So I gather (ShMS: 105).

35. The three men in scarlet ties: Mr Chairma, I protest. A personal explanation.

Mendoza: Order, order.

The others: Order, order, order! Chair! (ShMS: 122).

36. Mendoza” I agree with both of you.

The genuinely English brigands: hear, hear! Bravo, Mendoza! (ShMS: 113).

37. Mendoza: Can we offer you anything? Broiled rabbit and prickly pears –

Tanner: Thank you: we have dined (ShMS: 115).

38. Mendoza: … I count the world well lost for her. She had, I pledge my word, the magnificent head of hair I ever saw. (ShMS: 118).

39. Don Juan: Oh, I beg you not to begin talking about love (ShMS: 130).

40. The Devil: … I have examined man’s wonderful inventions. And I tell you that in the arts of life man invents nothing (ShMS: 142).

41. The Statue: As an old soldier I admit the cowardice: it’s as universal as sea sickness, and matters just as little (ShMS: 145).

42. The Devil (ironically) What! You a Catholic, Senor Don Juan! A devotee! My congratulations! (ShMS: 146).

43. Don Juan: I tell you, gentlemen, if you can show a man a piece of what he now calls God’s work to do, and what he will later on call by many new names, you can make him entirely reckless of the consequences to himself personally (ShMS: 147).

44. The Devil: Alas! Senor Commander, now that we have got on to the subject of Woman, he will talk more than ever. However, I confess it is for me the one supremely interesting subject (ShMS: 147).

45. Ana: Is that your idea of a woman’s mind? I call it cynical and disgusting animalism (ShMS:147).

46. The Devil: I agree, for the sake of argument.

The Statue: I agree , for the sake of avoiding argument.

Ana: I most emphatically disagree as regards the fathers of the Church; and I must beg you not to drag them into the argument (ShMS: 149).

47. Ana: That is exactly what men say.

Don Juan: I protest. I never said that (ShMS:152).

48. Ana: … let me tell you that that would have made all the difference to the earth which I replenished (ShMS: 155).

49. Don Juan: … for though that difference is the true essential difference – Dona Ana has, I admit, gone straight to the real point… (ShMS: 156).

50. Don Juan: Marriage is the most licentious of human institutions –

Ana: Juan!

Don Juan: I say the most licentious of human institutions… (ShMS: 156).

51. The Statue: But I confess that had I found nothing to do in the world but wallow in these delights I should have cut my throat (ShMS: 159).

52. Don Juan: Then may I ask, Commander, why you have left Heaven to come her and wallow, as you express it, in sentimental beatitudes which you confess would once have driven you to cut your throat? (ShMS: 159).

53. The Statue: I give you my word they won’t admire a fine statue even when it walks past them (ShMS: 167).

54. Malone (threateningly): now you take care what you are saying, Hector. Take care, I tell you (ShMS: 186).

55. Octavius: I have no hope, Ann: I accept my ill luck. (ShMS: 195).

56. Mrs Whitefield: But don’t put it on me: that’s all I ask. (ShMS:198).

57. Tanner: And as she has now reduced you to the point of being willing to sacrifice me at the altar for the mere satisfaction of getting me to call her a liar to her face, I may conclude that she is a bully as well (ShMS: 199).

58. Tanner: Well, perhaps it saves unpleasantness to say so. But for my part, I suspect that the tables of consanguinity have a natural basis in a natural repungnance. (ShMS: 200).

59. Tanner: I solemnly say that I am not a happy man … I beg that no man may seize the occasion to get half drunk and utter imbecile speeches and coarse pleasantries at my expense. We propose to furnish our own house according to our own taste; and I hereby give notice that the seven or eight travelling clocks, the four or five dressing cases, the carvers and fish slices…. Will be instantly sold… (ShMS: 208).

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