Turn-Taking

One important and necessary behavior in every face-to-face interpersonal exchange is turn-taking, defined as the process through which the partici­pants in a conversation decide who will talk first, next, and so forth. Have you noticed how individuals in a conversation decide who will talk next? Nonverbal clues may be important, such as when an individual looks at the person who is expected to talk next in a conversation.

When two people who are talking do not share a common culture, they may misunderstand each other's subtle clues as to when each should speak. As a result, both individuals may try to talk at the same time, or their discourse may be interrupted by awkward silences. As a consequence of these difficul­ties with turn-taking, both conversation partners may feel uncomfortable. Again, we see how cultural differences affect communica­tion effectiveness. For instance, when a Japanese and a North American talk in English, a pause of a few seconds' duration may frequently occur before the Japanese speaker responds. This brief delay may be vaguely disconcert­ing to the North American conversation partner.

Self-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is the degree to which an individual reveals personal informa­tion to another person. A large body of research has been conducted on self-disclosure since the psychologist Sidney Jourard (1971) called attention to this type of communi­cation behavior with his book, The Transparent Self. Scholars have investi­gated whether or not women are more likely to disclose personal information about themselves than are men (they aren't).

Cultural factors strongly determine the degree to which self-disclosure is appropriate. Collectivistic and high-context cultures are not very disclosing, while individualistic and low-context cultures are relatively more self-disclos­ing. European Americans disclose more personal details about their health, inner experiences, intimate thoughts, and so forth than do the Japanese or Chinese. Asians believe that self-centered talk is boastful, pretentious, and should be avoided. So when a European American discloses some personal information to an Asian American, the latter feels uncomfortable and does not self-disclose in return. Thus, Sidney Jourard's famous statement must be modified: Self-disclosure begets self-disclosure, if self-disclosure is culturally appropriate.

Content versus Relationship

Communication scholars distinguish between two dimensions of a message: (1) the message content, or what is said, and (2) the relationship, or how it is said (Watzlawick & others, 1967). This distinction was originally formulated by Gregory Bateson while observing monkeys playing in the San Francisco zoo. He noticed that one monkey would nip another in a way that looked like real combat, but both monkeys understood that the nip was just in play.

Bateson concluded that the bite message must have been preceded by another signal that established a playful relationship between the two monkeys (Rogers, 1994, p. 96). Bateson (1972) called the relationship mes­sage metacommunication, which is communication about communication. Humans, as well as monkeys, frequently engage in metacommunication. For example, one person is laughing while he makes a very offensive state­ment to a close friend, who thus understands from the smile that the remark is in jest.

Many communication scholars have investigated the content versus relationship dimensions of communication in different cultures. Collectiv­istic cultures put greater emphasis upon the relationship aspect of a mes­sage. You will recall that individuals in a collectivistic culture form messages in a way so as not to offend or make another person lose face. Less important is the clarity of the message con­tent because relationships are considered more important than the task at hand. In comparison, individualistic cultures stress message content over the relationship dimension of a message. Being clear, concise, and direct are prized. If someone's feelings get hurt by a communication mes­sage, too bad. Individuals generally feel that effective communication depends on being clear and avoiding ambiguity, although in an individu­alistic culture there are situations when ambiguous messages are appro­priate (Eisenberg, 1984). For example, a certain degree of ambiguity would be appropriate when an individual refuses an invitation for a date. Expla­nations such as "I am too busy" or "I have to study for an exam" are more acceptable than "No, I don't like you."

Face

One of the important functions of interpersonal communication is to form and maintain interpersonal relationships (intimate or distant, friendly ver­sus antagonistic, etc.). Culture defines the nature of these relationships between people and their intercultural interpersonal communication.

Face is particularly important for the Japanese, Chinese, and other Asians and Asian Americans who share a collectivistic culture. These individuals are extremely concerned with how they will appear to others around them. They wish to avoid looking foolish or inept and to avoid making a social error that could lead to guilt or shame. Much attention is given to maintaining positive interpersonal relationships with peers. In order to help another person main­tain face, one should pay compliments, be deferential, and offer frequent apologies for oneself. One should not criticize Asian persons in public situa­tions, as this act might harm the individual's face. For example, a North American teaching English as a foreign language in Japan playfully said in class to a favorite student: "You are a lazy student." This student did not talk to the teacher for the next several weeks and was very hurt by the teacher's joking comment. The student had lost face.

The importance of maintaining positive relationships with others in Japan is suggested by the fact that there is no equivalent Japanese word for the English word "communication." Instead, the Japanese word meaning human relationships is used, implying that the function of communicating, at least originally in Japanese culture, was to create and maintain interper­sonal relationships.

A distinction can be made between maintaining someone else's face versus your own. In collectivistic cultures like Asia, the maintenance of other-face predominates. In individualistic cultures, attention to self-face is more important. Even then, Asians attend to self-face more than do North Amer­icans. Yet, face is not unimportant in an individualistic culture like the United States. Bosses are advised to praise their employees publicly but to offer criticism and suggestions for improved performance in private, in a one- on-one situation.