LESSON 17

The Future Perfect Continuous Tense. Повторение времен в активном залоге.

Text 1

Advertisements as a Service

Although the average citizen is usually annoyed by all the advertisements printed in newspapers and magazines and the commercials broadcast on TV, the impact of the whole advertising industry on a single person is immense and plays a very important role in our lives. Advertising absorbs vast sums of money but it is useful to the community.

What are the functions of advertisements? The first one to mention is to inform. A lot of the information people have about household devices, cars, building materials, electronic equipment, cosmetics, detergents and food is largely derived from the advertisements they read. Advertisements introduce them to new products or remind them of the existing ones.

The second function is to sell. The products are shown from the best point of view and the potential buyer, or having entered the store, unconsciously chooses the advertised products. One buys this washing powder or this chewing gum, because the colourful TV commercials convince him of the best qualities of the product. Even cigarettes or sweets or alcohol are associated with the good values of human life such as joy, freedom, love and happiness, and just those associations make a person choose the advertised products.

The aim of a good advertisement is to create a consumer demand to buy the advertised product or service. Children are a good example as they usually buy this particular kind of chocolate or toy or chewing-gum. Being naive they cannot evaluate objectively what is truthful and what is exaggerated and select the really good products unless they buy the goods and check for themselves.

Thirdly, since the majority of advertisements are printed in our press we pay less for newspapers and magazines, also TV in most countries is cheap.

The public advertising seen on street boardings, railway stations and buildings makes people’s life more joyful. Moreover, all those small ads in the press concerning “employment”, “education”, and “for sale” and “wanted” columns, help ordinary people to find a better job or a better employer, to sell or to buy their second-hand things and find services, or learn about educational facilities, social events such as concerts, theatre plays, football matches. Thus despite our dissatisfaction, bombarded by all the advertisers’ information, we must admit that they do perform a useful service to society, advertisements are an essential part of our everyday life.

ORAL PRACTICE

Dialogue 1

Letter-Writing

-Mummy, can you tell me what and in what order I should write on the envelope.

-Yes, my dear. On the envelope the order is 1) the name of a person to whom the letter is being sent, 2) the number of the house and the name of the street or road, 3) the name of the town or village, 4) the name of the country.

-So, if I want to write to my granny...

-You should write:

Mrs. A. Green, 109 Kingsway, London, W.C.2., UK.

-And why should I write something after the name of the town?

-Because after the names of some large towns the name of the postal district is added. Clear?

-Yes, thank you very much.

-You are welcome.

Dialogue 2

-Daddy. My mother has already explained to me what I should write on the envelope. But I don’t know yet how to arrange the letter itself.

-Oh, it’s very simple. In the top right-hand comer you write your own address. Under the address the date is written. The day of the month may be written with or without -st, -nd, -rd or -th. It is usual for the name of the month to come in the middle, but it may come first. And...

-Wait. I cannot understand. Can you give an example?

-Well, you can write

5 January 1995 or 5th January 1995; May 2, 1995 or May 2nd, 1995.

-I see.

-Then you write the letter itself. You begin it with a greeting.

-Like My dear granny.

-Yes, or Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Smb.

-And do you know what to write at the close? Good bye?

-If you write to your granny. But if it is, for example, a business or social letter, you may write Yours or Yours sincerely and write your name.

***

Read the dialogue and reproduce it.

A Telephone Account

Mrs Wells: You look worried this evening, dear. What’s the trouble?

Mr Wells: I am going through the telephone account. It’s over 10 pounds this quarter. Last quarter it was under 7.

Mrs Wells: I don’t think we’ve used the telephone more than usual, have we? How’s the account made up?

Mr Wells: There’s the usual charge for rent, of course. Then there are the local calls, about the same as usual. But long-distance calls and telegrammes are very high. Who made all these expensive calls to Hastings? I don’t remember making them. Do we know anyone in Hastings?

Mrs Wells: Oh, they must be Jack’s calls. Anne was staying in Hastings with her uncle in October. Jack rang her up nearly every evening.

Mr Wells: Oh, did he? Well, he can pay for these calls then.

Mrs Wells: How much do they amount to, dear? Jack’s only earning 30 pounds a month.

Mr Wells: The total’s about 35 shillings. What long talks they must have had?

Mrs Wells: Yes, but do remember that when two young people are in love they like to talk. I’ll pay for Jack’s calls to Anne.

Mr Wells: Very generous of you, dear! I suppose you’ll pay me out of the housekeeping money I give you.

Mrs Wells: No, dear, you needn’t be afraid of having to go without your eggs and bacon for breakfast. Father sent me a cheque for Christmas, you remember. I haven’t spent it all yet.

Mr Wells: I wasn’t serious, dear. Use your father’s money for yourself. I’m sure there are lots of things you’d like.

***

Telephone Conversations

1.

-Hello.

-Is this Mr.Petrov?

-Speaking.

-Good morning, Mr Petrov. This is Mr Brown.

-Good morning, Mr Brown. What can I do for you?

-Could I see you on Monday?

-Certainly. When can you come?

-At ten in the morning?

-Very good. See you on Monday, then. Good-bye.

-Good-bye.

2.

Ì.– I’d like to make an important trunk-call to London. Operator. – I’m putting you through. You may speak. Secretary picks up the receiver.

S. – Hello.

M. – Hello, can I speak to Mr. Anderson?

S. – Just a minute. What’s your name, please?

M. – Mona Doan. I’m calling from Paris. The call is urgent. Secretary. - Hold the line, please.

An. – Hello, Anderson speaking.

Ì.– Hello, hello, Mr Anderson. Can you hear me well? An: – Hello, is that you, Mona?

Ì.– Yes, of course. Glad you recognized my voice. How are you? An. – Fine, thanks, And how are things with you?

Ì.– Everything is fine. I’ve finished my work here and can come back. An. – ÎÊ. When shall I meet you?

M. – I’m arriving tomorrow at 5. An. – Heathrow?

Ì.– Of course.

An. – Then till tomorrow. Goodbye. Ì. – Good-bye.

3.

Jack dials the number. The line is engaged. Jack dials the number again.

-Hallo. Is this 174-36-58?

-Yes. Is this Jack?

-Yes. Good afternoon, Mrs Gray. Is Linda in?

-Good afternoon. Sorry, Linda is out. Can I take a message?

-No, thanks. Do you know where she is?

-Well, I think, she went to her friend Mary.

-Ah, Mary. I know her. Could I have her number?

-Just a minute. Yes, write it down. It is 174-78-45.

-Thank you. Bye.

-Bye.

4.

-Can I use your telephone?

-Yes, please.

Òîm dials the number.

-Rob?

-No, you’ve got the wrong number. Òîm dials the number again.

-Rob? Is that you?

-Speaking.

-Hi, it’s Tom. Why are you at home? We are waiting for you.

-Waiting for me? Oh, is it already nine?

-It’s half past nine.

-Oh, my God! I am afraid I have been sleeping too long. Where are you?

-We are already at Jimmy’s.

-ÎÊ. I’m coming. In thirty minutes I’ll be there.

-All right. See you.

-So long.

Rob puts down the receiver and hurries to his friends.

***

At the Post-Office

-I want to send a registered letter to London. How much is it?

-Ten pence. Shall I give you a ten-pence stamp?

-Yes, please. I want it to go by air mail.

-That’ll be six pence extra, please. What else can I do for you?

-I’d like to make out a money-order and also send off a telegram. Where can I get a form?

-Here is a money-order form. And you’ll find telegram forms and can fill them in at the desk over there.

Handing in the filled-in forms.

-I want to send a little present to a friend of mine. Where do they take parcels?

-In the next room, please. Here are your receipts.

-Thank you.

Correspondence

-Has there been any mail today?

-We got several letters and telegrams this morning. Which of them shall we answer first?

-Have you got them with you?

-Yes, here they are.

-Let me see...These should be answered first of all. And these must be looked through very carefully.

-I hope you won’t mind if I do it tomorrow morning.

-I’m afraid it must be done immediately.

-There isn’t much time left, but I’ll do my best.

-Can you stay a little longer to go through them today?

-All right.

***

Exercise 1. Complete the dialogue. Act as Mrs Lewis.

Mr Blake. May I speak to Mr Lewis? Mrs Lewis. … … … .

Mr Blake. Lewis? Oh, I’m sorry… I must have written it down wrongly. Well, good morning, Mrs Lewis. Is your husband at home?

Mrs Lewis. … … … .

Mr Blake. What time will he be getting up? Mrs Lewis. … … … .

Mr Blake. Oh, do forgive me! I’m awfully sorry to hear that. I thought you said he was still in bed. The line isn’t very clear. I wish him a soon recovery. Well, Mrs Lewis, my name is Blake and I’m ringing from ...

Mrs Lewis. … … … ?

Mr Blake. No, I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting your husband. Mrs Lewis. … … … ?

Mr Blake. I’ll tell you what I want in just a moment, Mrs Lewis. First, though, may I introduce myself? As I said, my name is Blake and I’m ringing from...

Mrs Lewis. … … … ?

Mr Blake. Nobody gave me your number. Mrs Lewis. … … … ?

Mr Blake. From the telephone book. Every day I take a dozen or so names from them telephone book and …

Mrs Lewis. … … … ?

Mr Blake. I’ll tell you in a second. But let me start from the very beginning. I’m ringing from the circulation department (отдел распространения) of the “Daily Echo” to say...

Mrs Lewis. … … … ?

Mr Blake. A newspaper, dear lady. A very famous newspaper. Mrs Lewis. … … … ?

Mr Blake. Oh, it may concern you, Mrs Lewis. We can now deliver (доставлять) the “Daily Echo” to your house at 5 o’clock every morning. Mrs Lewis. … … … ?

Mr Blake. You don’t have to get up at 5 o’clock. We just deliver it at that time. We put it into your letter-box.

Mrs Lewis. … … … .

Mr Blake. But the TV isn’t really enough, is it? A newspaper is able to give you so many more details than the TV news can. And a lot of other things - cooking recipes and cinema programmes, for example.

Mrs Lewis. … … … .

Mr Blake. Nor do I, to tell you the truth. The films these days aren’t as good as they used to be, but... Hello? Mrs Lewis? Are you there? Hello? Good heavens, she’s hung up! What a woman!

***

Exercise 2. Translate the conversations into English.

1.– Ты должен оплатить счета за телефон до завтра. – А какую с˝умму они составляют?

2.– Я бы хотела позвонить в Германию по международному теле˝фону. – Сожалею, но линия занята. Подождите, как только она освобод˝ится, я Вас соединю.

3.– Алло. – Да, я у телефона. – Это Алекс? – Нет, Вы ошиблись номе˝ром.

– Это 34-56? – Да, но тут нет никакого Алекса. – Извините, я, наверн˝ое, неправильно записал номер.

4.– Попросите, пожалуйста, Наташу. – Извините, ее нет дома. А к˝то ее спрашивает? – Дмитрий, Вы не могли бы ей кое-что передать? – Д˝а, конечно. – Скажите ей, чтобы она мне перезвонила завтра утр˝ом, около

10.– Хорошо, передам.

5.– Твои междугородные звонки стоят очень дорого. Ты не мож˝ешь звонить пореже? – Нет. У меня есть много срочных дел, которые я могу р˝ешить только по телефону.

6.– Я могу поговорить с мистером Брайтом? – К сожалению, сейч˝ас нет. Он разговаривает по другому телефону. Но не вешайте трубк˝у, подождите, я думаю, он скоро освободится.

7.– Привет! Это я. Ты узнала мой голос? – Ну, конечно Джек. Как д˝ела?

– Замечательно. Послушай, как насчет пикника в субботу? – В ˝субботу? Я в пятницу буду у своей тети, позвони мне туда вечером и я ск˝ажу тебе, смогу ли я поехать. –Хорошо. Дай мне телефон твоей тети. – За˝писывай 12-67. – 0-кей. До вечера пятницы. Пока. – Пока. Увидимся.

8.– Извините. – Чем могу Вам помочь? – Я могу воспользоваться˝ Вашим телефоном? – Разумеется. – Большое спасибо.

GRAMMAR EXERCISES

Exercise 1. Put the verbs in brackets into the correct tense: Present Perfect, Past Simple, Past Continuous or Past Perfect.

A.1. I just (to see) Jack. 2. She (to wash) the dishes from five till six.

3.Look! She (to draw) a very nice picture. 4. At this time yesterday I (to talk) to my friend. 5. The TV programme (to be-gin) before I (to come) home. 6. I (not to eat) ice-cream since summer. 7. I understood that she (not to read) my letter. 8. She (to do) the rooms when I (to come) home. 9. It’s all right: she (to find) the way out of the situation. 10. He (to come) home late yesterday. 11. She is very glad: she (to finish) her composition at last. 12. He (to trans-late) the whole text by eleven o’clock. 13. I never (to be) to Rome.

14.Last year we (to work) very much. 15. When I (to have) breakfast, I went to school. 16. I (not to see) you for ages! I am very glad to see you. 17.

When you (to see) the “Swan Lake”? 18. My sister already (to graduate) from the institute. 19. He repaired the toy which his brother (to break) the day before. 20. I (to see) an interesting TV programme this week. 21. You ever (to be) in Trafalgar Square? 22. They (to cook) the whole day yesterday.

B. 1. Only when she was going to bed, she remembered that she (to forget) to ring up her friend. 2. We already (to study) seven English tenses. 3. He (to spend) two weeks in Scotland two years ago. 4. I (to buy) a lovely fashionable dress. Now I will look smart at the party. 5. He (to learn) Eng\lish before he (to go) to the USA. 6. When she (to spend) all her money, she (to go) home. 7. I (to speak) to my friend yesterday. 8. Look! Kate (to wash) all the dishes. 9. Your mother (to return) from work? Can I speak to her? 10. She (to do) her flat the whole day on Saturday. 11. The cat (to drink) all the milk which I (to give) it. 12. You ever (to be) in Piccadilly Circus? 13. He (not to read) Turgenev since he was a pupil. 14. They (to reach) the river by sunset. 15. I (not yet to re\ceive) an answer to my letter. 16. She is very hap\py: her son (to finish) school. 17. My brother (to train) at the stadium from six till eight yesterday. 18. My sister (to buy) a pair of nice model shoes this month. 19. I (not to dance) for ages. 20. When Nick (to come) from school, his friends (to play) in the yard. 21. When your sister (to go) to London? 22. My friend just (to recover) after a serious illness. 23. I never (to be) to the Bahamas. 24. At this time yesterday we (to talk) about you.

Exercise 2. A. Insert articles where necessary.

1.He is … student of … Moscow University.

2.The main building of … University is facing … highway.

3.… University has … good library, … large lecture halls and … laboratories.

4.Each faculty is run by … Dean.

5.… Dean’s office of the faculty of economics is on … first floor.

6.… qualified teachers work at … University.

7.I do … homework at … home.

8.… this student comes from Nizhny Novgorod.

9.… library of our University is large.

B.Use prepositions.

1.Will I come for the books … the evening or … the morning?

2.Bessie’s birthday is … the 10th of May.

3.The meeting is … 2 o’clock.

4.… summer students don’t study.

5.I think I will be home … 6 o’clock … this evening.

6.… last year her son finished school.

7.I will come to you … 4 or 5.

8.… next year he’ll graduate from the University.

9.… 5 minutes … 8 I leave my house.

10.…summer I like to get up early.

11.My friend stayed at the library … 2 hours yesterday.

12.Many shops work … night now.

13.I know this girl … the time she was little.

14.It is a quarter … seven.

15.My brother will finish school … a year.

Exercise 3. Choose Present Perfect, Past Simple, Past Continuous or Past Perfect.

1. They (to tell) me yesterday that you (to get) an excellent mark. 2. When you (to receive) a letter from your friend? 3. Our grandmother (to cook) dinner from twelve till three yesterday. 4. Look! What beautiful flowers she (to buy)! 5. They (to travel) along the coast of Africa last year. 6. We (not to see) each other for ages. 7. They (to eat) all the apples which I (to bring). 8. When the children (to have) dinner, they (to go) for a walk. 9. Last summer we (to live) in the country and (to go) to the river every day. 10. My sister (to spend) a lot of money yesterday. 11. She is so upset: she (to lose) the key to the front door. 12. By the 1st of September all the children (to return) from the country. 13. Columbus (to discover) America 500 years ago. 14. Columbus (not to know) that he (to discover) America. 15.1 already (to read) five English books. 16. He (to discuss) the problem with a lot of people before he (to take) a decision. 17. Mother (to bake) a delicious cake! Sit down at the table and let’s eat it! 18. She (to read) an Eng-lish book the whole evening yesterday. 19. I never (to be) to Greece. 20. You ever (to be) at the Nia-gara Falls? 21. At this time yesterday they (to sit) on the sofa and (to listen) to their grandmother who (to tell) them fairy-tales. 22. My friend just (to ring) me up from London. 23. I (to stand) at the tram-stop when it (to begin) raining. 24. We (not to skate) since last winter.

Exercise 4. Put the verbs in brackets into the correct tense:

A.1. I. always (to come) to school at a quarter to nine. 2. Yesterday I (to come) to school at ten minutes to nine. 3. Tomorrow Nick (not to go) to the cinema because he (to go) to the cinema yesterday. He already (to be) at the cinema this week. Look! He (to cry). 4. What your brother (to do) now?

5.My friend (to like) pies. He (to eat) pies every day. When I (to meet) him in the street yesterday, he (to eat) a pie. He (to tell) me that he (to buy) that pie at the corner of the street. Look at my friend now! He (to eat) a pie again.

B.1. You (to go) to the library tomorrow? – No, I already (to be) to the library this week. I (to be) there on Monday. As a rule, I (to go) to the library every Wednesday. But yesterday I (not to go) there, because I (not to read) the book. I (to read) it now. I (to go) to the library on Saturday if I (to

finish) the book by that time. 2. As soon as I (to receive) a letter, I will go to Moscow. 3. Yesterday I (to put) five apples into the vase. Where they (to be) now? – I (to eat) them. You (to bring) some more tomorrow? – Yes, if you (not to make) noise when granny (to sleep). 4. You ever (to be) at the Hermitage? 5. What Nick (to do) when you (to ring) him up yesterday? – He (to play) the piano. He (to tell) me that he already (to write) his composition. 6. Why she (to sleep) now? It (to be) too early. She never (to sleep) at this time.

Exercise 5. A. Insert articles where necessary.

1.I want to send Andrew … letter. When he gets … letter he will understand everything.

2.It is … student of … first year.

3.He is … best student of … faculty.

4.What do you usually have for … breakfast?

5.I usually have … bread and … butter and … cup of … tea. Today … bread is fresh.

6.Yesterday we had … dinner at … Institute canteen.

7.We do … mathematics, physics, … English language and other subjects.

8.Her brother entered … Nizhny Novgorod Institute of Management and Business last year.

9.Now we will read … text 6.

10.Mr. Brown is in … room 221.

11.… academic year lasts from … September till … July.

B.Insert prepositions where necessary.

1.The time is half … six.

2.The boy gets up early … the morning.

3.Lessons begin … half past eight.

4.Some children go … home … lunch and some have lunch … school.

5.The sun rose … five o’clock yesterday.

6.What’s the time … your watch?

7.I always come … the University … time.

8.He’ll be back … a week.

9.I don’t like going out … night.

10.I usually go out … Monday evenings.

Exercise 6. Put the verbs in brackets into the correct tense:

A.1. You (to go) for a walk with me? – I (to be) sorry, I can’t. I (to do) my homework. I (not yet to write) the English exercise. If you (to wait) for me, I (to go) with you in half an hour. I (to want) to go for a walk very much, because I (not to go) for a walk yesterday. 2. Don’t go to Nick’s place now, he (to work). He (to finish) his homework at seven o’clock. If you (to come) after seven, he (to be) very glad. 3. Pete (to go) to the cinema? – Yes,

I (to think) so. He usually (to play) in the yard at this time, and now he (not to be) there. 4. He (to read) a book at five o’clock yesterday. 5. Yesterday the children (to do) all their homework before mother (to come) home, and when she (to come), they (to play) with the cat. 6. I (to lose) my key when I (to play) in the yard yesterday. 7. Ring me up as soon as you (to come) home. 8. Where you usually (to take) books for reading?

B. 1. What you (to learn) for today? – I (to be) sorry, I (not to prepare) my lesson. I (to be) ill yesterday and (not to know) what to do. I (to prepare) my lesson tomorrow. – If you (not to prepare) your lesson tomorrow, you (to get) a bad mark. 2. What you (to do) at five o’clock yesterday? 3. Mike always (to do) his homework in the evening, but today he (to begin) doing it as soon as he comes from school, because his father (to promise) to take him to the theatre. 4. When Mary (to come) home, her brother (to read) the book which she (to bring) him two days before. 5. Autumn (to come). It (to be) November now. It (to get) colder, the days (to get) shorter. It often (to rain). Soon it (to be) very cold. 6. When I (to do) my homework yesterday, I quickly (to run) to the yard, because my friends (to wait) for me there. 7. We (to have) a good time last summer.

Exercise 7. Fill in the blanks with the modal verbs “can”, “may” or “must”.

1. What ... we see on this map? 2. ... you speak Spanish? – No, unfortunately I... 3. At what time ... you come to school? 4. ... I come in? 5. You ... not smoke here. 6. ... take your book? – I am afraid not: I need it. 7. He ... not speak English yet. 8. I have very little time: I ... go. 9. They ... not go to the park today because they are busy. 10. You ... read this text: it is easy enough.

Exercise 8. Fill in the blanks with “big”, or “great”, or “large”:

1. I have seen a skiing-race on the television. It made a ... impression on me. 2. She was a ... woman on whose bosom a ... paste broach glimmered and glinted in the flashes of light. 3.I don’t consider my life a thing of any ...

value. 4. He saw as he overtook the ... Negro, that he was going to be too late. 5. Even so it would take a ... many heirlooms to buy a turnout like this. 6. You think Isaac’s ...? Well, you should see Nimrod. 7. ... changes take place in all parts of Russia daily. 8. “I wait”, the ... voice said. “But talk short, talk fast”. 9. It was terrible for Jane to be locked up alone in that ...

room. 10. “Very well, Miss”, Thatcher said, “Wedding plans going at a ...

pace, of course”. 11. I have a ... favour to ask of you.

Exercise 9. Answer the following questions.

1. Is it convenient to have a room of your own? 2. Why is it convenient to have a telephone in your flat? 3. Why is it more convenient to live near the

Metro? 4. Where is it more convenient to keep books, on a bookshelf or in a bookcase? 5. Is it more comfortable to sleep in a bed or on a sofa? 6. What is more comfortable: to sit on a chair or an armchair? 7. Where do you feel more comfortable: in town or in the country and why? 8. Do you find our timetable convenient for studies? 9. Do you feel comfortable in rubber shoes in sunny weather? 10. What is the most convenient time to do your lessons? 11. Do you think your house is conveniently situated? 12. Why is it convenient to have a refrigerator in the house?

Exercise 10. Translate:

1. Эти туфли очень удобны. Cоветую их купить. 2. Метро – удобное˝ место для встречи. 3. Эти новые кровати очень удобны. 4. В тако˝й поздний час неудобно ей звонить. 5. Мы давно ждали удобного случая н˝авестить его. 6. Они живут в квартире со всеми удобствами. 7. Если это уд˝обно, давайте поговорим здесь. 8. Мое новое пальто очень неудобно˝. 9. Самая удобная вещь в комнате – это диван. 10. Она делала все, чтобы м˝ы чувствовали себя удобно. 11. Не совсем удобно просить ее сид˝еть с ребенком весь вечер. 12. Он живет в одном из самых удобных районов горо˝да. 13. Я чувствовала себя неудобно в новой обстановке. 14. Самый удоб˝ный вид транспорта в городе – это машина. 15. Эти новые вагоны очень у˝добны: они просторные и светлые. 16. Он чувствовал себя неуютно в эт˝ой большой каюте. 17. Комната была большой, но она не выглядела уютной. 18. И˝ди ко мне, здесь удобнее.

Exercise 11. Insert “convenient” or “comfortable”:

1.It seems as though I belonged to somebody now, it’s a very ... feeling.

2.Now the best he could say of Marian was that she was .... 3. It is more ...

to live near a bus stop. 4. A refrigerator is a very ... thing to have in the house. 5. Well, any time you find it ... to move in the rooms are ready. 6. “My study is more ...”, he said smiling. 7. The most ... time to learn our lessons is early in the morning. 8. I never feel ... in his company. 9. It’s really

... to use a tape-recorder when studying foreign languages.

Exercise 12. Choose the correct form:

1. I did not rest very (good, well) last night. 2. It is not (good, well) for you to smoke. 3. I was (angry, angrily) at what he said. 4. He spoke (angry, angrily). 5. It isn’t (bad, badly). 6. He wrote his dictation (bad, badly). 7. He acted very (brave, bravely). 8. He is a (brave, bravery) man. 9. This is quite (clear, clearly). 10. This (clear, clearly) shows the difference. 11. She received him (cold, coldly). 12. The weather is (cold, coldly) today. 13. This is a (comfortable, comfortably) chair. 14. We travelled (comfortable, comfortably). 15. He is (dangerous, dangerously) ill. 16. The ice is (dangerous, dangerously). 17. My opinion of this book is (different, differently) from

yours. 18. The two sisters were dressed (different, differently). 19. Your description is not quite (exact, exactly). 20. I don’t know (exact, exactly) when he will come. 21. The children seem to be very (happy, happily). 22. They lived (happy, happily). 23. We saw a (heavy, heavily) loaded wagon. 24. The box is too (heavy, heavily). 25. She looked round (helpless, helplessly). 26. She is quite (helpless, helplessly). 27. The work was done (perfect, perfectly). 28. The weather during the last few days has been (perfect perfectly). 29. He came into the room very (quiet, quietly). 30. His voice was (quiet, quietly). 31. He goes to school (regular, regularly). 32. It is (sad, sadly) that you have been ill such a long time. 33. She looked at me (sad, sadly). 34. The answer was not (satisfactory, satisfactorily). 35. He is working (satisfactory, satisfactorily). 36. Do you (serious, seriously) wish to go there? 37. It is a very (serious, seriously) thing. 38. The explanation was quite (simple, simply). 39. The question can be answered quite (simple, simply).

Exercise 13. Answer the questions using the prompts.

Example: Have you been waiting for two hours? (midday) – By midday I’ll have been waiting for three hours.

1. Have you been learning English for three years? (July) 2. Have they been staying here for two weeks? (Monday) 3. Have you been living here for nineteen years? (Christmas) 4. Has he been playing tennis for three hours? (tea time) 5. Has she been studying in London for a year? (next June) 6. Has he been sleeping for eight hours? (breakfast time) 7. Have I been talking nonstop for an hour? (seven o’clock)

Exercise 14. Use the Future Perfect Tense or the Future Perfect Continuous Tense.

1. We (to finish) this exercise by 8 o’clock. 2. We are late. The lesson (to start) by now. 3. By the end of March he (to live) here for three years. 4. Young Billy is growing up. By this time next year he (to begin) school. 5. They will be tired when they get there. They (to travel) all day. 6. She (to have) lunch by the time we arrive. 7. They (to build) the road by the end of the year. 8. I (to spend) all my money by tomorrow. 9. We (to fly) twelve hours by the time the plane lands. 10. The play (to begin) before we reach the theatre.

Exercise 15. Use the proper tense form.

1. Deborah woke up with a terrible headache because she and Arthur (to hold) a party the night before. 2. When Peter (to go) along the street he (to see) a friend of his whom he (not to meet) for a long time. 3. I (not to fall asleep) yet when I (to hear) the sound of the bell. 4. I (to speak) to the woman because I (to think) I (to meet) her somewhere before. 5. When we (to get) to the station, we (to find) that the 8 o’clock train already (to leave)

and we had to wait until the next train came in. While I (to wait) I (to read) a newspaper. 6. As soon as they (to go), I (to go) straight to bed. 7. When I (to get) back to the shop, they (to sell) the book I wanted. 8. He (to be) tired because he (to work) in the garden all day. 9. First she (to open) the parcel, and then she (to read) the letter. 10. They (to sit) there for more than an hour when the taxi finally (to arrive). 11. They (to leave) the room as soon as he (to finish) speaking.

ADDITIONAL READING

Product Advertising

Dear Sirs,

Our firm is the number one supplier of ……………….. (название товара) in ……………….. (названия городов, стран) and in the world.

Why? Because our products are best. ……………….. (название товара) last longer than any other manufacturer’s due to superior design and excellent quality.

The high quality of our goods offers you significant savings in operating costs as our products are ever-lasting.

Here are just a few of the many services we offer you:

Our firm maintains a staff of test engineers and facilities unmatched in the industry.

Any product claimed and returned for evaluation is thoroughly tested, and the results pass from our laboratory directly to the production process.

Our distributors have field engineers who will visit you to provide technical advice.

All orders are shipped within twenty-four hours and the second day delivery is the norm. Our distributor’s insurance plan guarantees that our products will be delivered safely. To better serve your needs substantial stocks are stored in the warehouse on our territory. For further information please write or call us today.

***

Product Advertising -2

At last, everything you have been waiting for. Our .............. (название товара) combines an affordable price and low operating costs, with high performance features designed to keep your business running smoothly.

An end to bottlenecks. Better efficiency.

Backed by the experts. Add to the above the fact that it is backed by one of the largest service organizations and you will see why .............. (название товара) is everything you have been waiting for. So why wait longer? Contact: tel. 103-05-10.

READING FOR PLEASURE

Evenings with a Family

1.

What happens to the typical American family every evening after dinner? First everyone argues about the dishes. Then they disappear into the livingroom. They sit there for the rest of the evening. They are quiet; nobody says anything to anyone. They stare at a small screen until their eyes are tired and red. “The boob-tube” (television-set) is the centre of attention.

2.

When I was a child we used to spend hot summer evenings on the front porch. We didn’t have air conditioning and the house was always too warm, but there was usually a cool, pleasant breeze out on the porch. We children used to play games or read comic books there while my father sat in his rocking chair and rocked back and forth for hours. Sometimes he smoked his pipe or did the crossword puzzle from the newspaper.

Mother used the paper fan when there was no breeze. Sometimes she cleaned strawberries. Then later in the evening she used to take them into the kitchen and reappeared in a few minutes with a big dish of strawberries and cream.

3.

The front porch was also a kind of social centre. There were special “rules” for evenings on the porch. Everyone knew the rules but nobody said anything about them. For example, when people in our town took walks on summer evenings they often used to stop for a moment on the porch. Then my father always said, “Come on up and sit down!”. This was another “rule”. Then mother brought out lemonade or iced tea – never coffee, or juice, or alcohol. Everyone talked about the local baseball team, gardening and the hot weather, we children learned out the first lessons in small talk on the porch.

The English Character

Most people in Britain work a five-day week from Monday to Friday. Schools are also closed on Saturdays. Those who live in cities and towns like to go away for the week-end. They may go to stay in the country or at the sea. Every Englishman is fond of the countryside: a nice cottage with roses round the porch and in the garden, the fresh air and bright sun, no wind or rain. No crowds of people, silence and leisure. Those who stay at home at the week-end try to do all the jobs they were too busy to do during the week. Some go shopping on Saturday morning, some do the house-washing, cleaning, gardening. Some men go and watch the most important sporting events (football, rugby, horse-racing and others) that take place only on Saturday afternoon, others sit and watch the sport programmes on television.

Saturday evening is the best time for parties, dances, going to the cinema or theatre. For many English families Sunday begins with getting up an hour or so later than during the rest of the week. After breakfast they may go to work in the garden or wash the car, or take the dog for a walk, or pay a visit to the pub. Sunday is a day for inviting friends and relatives to afternoon tea at 5 o’clock.

What You Know About Religion

Among people of the world there are those who believe in one God as a Creator and ruler of the Universe. There are atheists who refuse to believe in the existence of God. There are also people who haven’t much belief in the existence of God.

Religion is a belief in the existence of supernatural power, the creator and controller of the Universe who has given the man a spiritual nature which continues to exist after the death of the body.

Religion is a behavioral discipline with particular moral code. Such behaviour as murder, lying, breaking promises, steling and others of that kind have been condemned by the world religions. So religion has kept man away from bad behaviour, the behaviour that doesn’t correspond to moral codes.

There are three universal religions: Buddhism, Islam, Christianity. Buddhism is the religion founded by Buddha, the great religious teacher who lived in India about 2500 years ago. Those whose religion is Buddhism are Buddhists. Islam is the Mohammedan religion. Mohammed was the great Arabian prophet and religious leader who founded this religion in about the 7th century. Christianity is the Christian religion. One who believes in Jesus Christ is a Christian.

Buddhism, Islam and Christianity are truly universal and timeless. They rise above all limitations of race and nationality, all orders of society, all classes and casts, all temporal laws and institutions. They all insist upon the reality of immaterial and invisible world. They all proclaim the eternal changelessness of the absolute values of goodness and beauty and truth.

Among those who believe in Christ there are Catholics who belong to Roman Catholic Church; Pope is the head of the Church; Protestants who do not belong to Roman Catholic Church and Christians who belong to Eastern or Greek Orthodox Church.

The European culture: art, painting, literature, music, even our calendar is universal for all the people who belong to Christianity.

You know we live in the 21th century that is 2000 years ago Christ was born. People celebrate the birth of Christ every year and they call this holiday Christmas. Christmas is celebrated on the 25th of December by the Catholic Church and on the 7th of January by the Orthodox Church. This is the holiday of the beginning of the new year, new life. People celebrate it with an evergreen tree – Christmas tree. They cover the Christmas tree with candles

or small electric lights, toys and sweets. People send Christmas cards in which they wish “A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year”.

English on the Stage

These people are members of a very unusual theatre company called the English Teaching Theatre. The idea began at International House, which is a centre for teaching English to foreign students in London.

A small group of teachers got together to write and perform short plays which foreign students could enjoy, and which helped them to learn English. Soon the English Teaching Centre was invited to other schools of English all around the country and even abroad. So far, it has visited Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Greece, Holland, Italy, Mexico, Norway, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey and Yugoslavia.

The group performs in schools and colleges, universities and small theatres. The show has also been filmed by the BBC in Britain and by Danish TV. On tour, all the members travel in a van, or by train, so they can’t take many costumes in their luggage.

“You only need a jacket and a cap to show you’re a ticket inspector, for instance”, they told us. “The rest is up to your imagination”.

The show is a mixture of short sketches (one-act plays) and songs, and the audience is expected to join in with the songs and the jokes.

Each sketch is based on a very simple idea. Usually the action happens in a perfectly ordinary place, like a doctor’s waiting room, or a bank or someone’s house. But quite soon, something unexpected happens and the sketch becomes very funny. It is only at the end of the show that students realize that they have understood all the jokes and sung all the songs in English!

A Funny Story

One of Mark Twain’s hobbies was fishing. He went fishing whenever he had a chance, even in the closed season, when fishing was not allowed anywhere in lakes and rivers. Like all fishermen, he sometimes invented stories about the number of fish he caught.

One hot day during the closed season Mark Twain was fishing as usual, under a low bridge. A man who was walking across the bridge happened to notice Mark Twain and began to watch him. At last he asked, “Have you caught many fish?”

“Not yet,” Mark Twain answered. “I have only just begun. But yesterday I caught thirty great big fish here.”

“You were very lucky,” the man said. “Do you know who I am?” “No,” Mark Twain said. “I don’t think I ever happened to meet you

before.”

“I’m the fishing inspector in this place. Do you know that this is the closed season?”

Mark Twain thought quickly. He understood how foolish he had been. “Do you know who I am?” he asked aloud.

“No, of course not,” answered the inspector.

“I am the biggest liar on the Mississippi,” Mark Twain told him.

A Clever Explanation

Tom Robinson’s parents were poor and the family was often hungry, so Tom had to go to work when he was still a boy. It wasn’t easy to find work that he could do: Tom was small and thin. At last he was successful in getting a place in an office where the work wasn’t too hard, though there was much of it. Tom was paid only six shillings a week for his work. He wasn’t satisfied with the low pay he was receiving because he knew that he had a right to more. But for a long time, because he was so small and thin, he hadn’t the courage to ask for a rise in pay. Whenever he imagined the scene – Mr. Marston’s gloomy look and sharp voice – he decided to wait a little longer. Perhaps Mr. Marston would raise the pay himself? But at last it became clear that his pay would never be changed if he didn’t insist on it himself. So one morning he decided to go to Mr. Marston’s office and have this unpleasant conversation. Though he was a little ashamed and afraid, he decided that he would not leave the room until Mr. Marston had promised to give him four shillings more a week.

After a short struggle with himself, he slowly opened the door and asked: “May I speak to you, sir?”

“Yes, what’s the matter?” Mr. Marston’s loud voice seemed more unpleasant than usual. Tom’s voice sounded much smaller and thinner, as he told him that he wanted a rise.

“You are an honest boy and not afraid of work,” Mr. Marston said. “How much more do you want?”

“I was hoping you would agree to a rise of four shillings,” Tom said. “Don’t you think that ten shillings is too much for such a small boy?” “No, I don’t,” Tom answered. “I am older than I look. To tell you the

truth, since I have worked here, I have been so busy that I haven’t had time to grow”.

The Sea on Strike

Many years ago a London theatre performed a play with a terrible storm at sea in one of the scenes. The waves were made by some boys who jumped up and down under a large piece of green cloth. Each boy received a shilling a night for his work.

The play was very popular, and the hall was usually full. But the director of the theatre wanted to make still more money from the performances, and he decided to lower the boys’ pay from a shilling to sixpence. This made the boys angry, and they decided to go on strike for a shilling a night.

During the next performance, when the storm began, there was enough loud noise on the stage, but not one wave could be seen. The theatre director immediately ran behind the stage, raised a corner of the green cloth and shouted:

“Waves! Waves! Why aren’t you making waves?!” One of the boys sitting under the cloth asked him. “Do you want sixpenny waves or shilling waves?”

“All right, all right!” the director said. “I’ll give you a shilling, only give me the waves!”

Tremendous waves immediately began to appear on the sea, and everybody agreed that they had never seen a better storm in the theatre.

An Unpleasant Mistake

The train stopped at the border and the passengers were told to get their bags ready for examination by the customs officer. One of the passengers had bought many boxes of cigarettes, and they were in his bags. He knew the customs limits on cigarettes, and that the number he had was far more than was allowed. He was afraid they would count how many boxes he had, and would take half of them away from him. So he took some boxes out of his bags and began putting them into his pockets. But when all his pockets were filled, there were still many boxes left. Something had to be done. The passenger went out into the corridor and saw a man standing alone at the window. “Will you help me?” he said going up to the man.

“I’d be glad to,” the man answered.

“Please, put these cigarettes into your pockets until the customs examination is over.”

“Why can’t the cigarettes be left in your bags?” the other man asked. “Because I have too many. I “am afraid they will take some of them.” “All right,” the man said. “Give them to me. But I must tell you now

that I won’t return them to you.”

“Why not?” the man asked in surprise.

“Because I am the customs officer,” was the answer.

A Story

One day, some Americans were having dinner at a hotel in London. When the fish was put on the table, a young man said: “Let’s examine the fish carefully. Perhaps we’ll find a diamond in it.” Everybody began to laugh, but an old man said quietly: “Yes, I’m sure we have all heard such stories. Let me tell you what happened to me once.”

“When I was a young man,” he began, “I worked for a big company in New York; and I was sent to England to do some work there. I was in love with a beautiful girl, and before I left for England, we decided that we would be married when I returned home.

I stayed in England for two months. I sent letters or postcards to the girl almost every day, but after the first two weeks I didn’t receive many answers. But I didn’t think anything was the matter, and before I left for home, I bought a beautiful diamond ring for her.

On the ship one morning, a telegram was brought to me. It was from a friend in New York, who told me that the girl had changed her mind and was going to be married to another man. I was so angry that I threw the diamond ring into the sea.

My friend came to the port to meet me, and he invited me to dinner. When we were sitting down at the table and I was eating fish, I suddenly felt something hard in my mouth. What do you think it was?”

“The diamond!” all the Americans cried. “No,” the old man answered. “It was a fish bone.”

A Difficult Decision

As Mrs. Bennett came into the room where her husband was sitting, she cried: “Mr. Bennett, I want you to speak to Lizzy, and make her marry Mr. Collins.”

Mr. Bennett looked up from his book and said quietly: “I am afraid I do not understand you. What are you talking about?”

“About Mr. Collins and Lizzy. Lizzy says she won’t marry Mr. Collins, and Mr. Collins is beginning to say he won’t marry Lizzy.”

“And what do you want me to do? It seems hopeless.” “Speak to Lizzy. Tell her you want her to marry him.” “Call her here. I’ll tell her what I think.”

Mrs. Bennett went to the door and called Lizzy.

“Come here, child,” her father said, as she came in. “I have sent for you because I want to speak to you on an important question. Give me your full attention, please. I understand that Mr. Collins has said he wants to marry you. Is that right?”

“It is,” Elizabeth answered.

“Very well,” said Mr. Bennett. “And you have refused?” “I have, sir.”

“Very well. Now, the main thing to understand is, that your mother wants you to agree. Is that right, Mrs. Bennett?”

“Yes. If she doesn’t agree, I will never see her or speak to her again.” “You see, Lizzy,” said Mr. Bennett, “how difficult it will be to decide. From

this day, you must lose one of your parents. Your mother will never see you or speak to you if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you or speak to you again if you do.”

***

An old man had seven sons, who never agreed with each other. Each of them was always sure that he was right, and nothing could make him change his mind.

One day, the old man fell ill, and he called his sons to him. “My sons,” he said, “I am afraid that I cannot live long. But before I die, there is something I’d like to show you.”

He took seven sticks tied together and gave the sticks to one of the boys. “Try to break them,” he said. The boy tried hard, but he couldn’t break the sticks. One after another, all the boys tried, but they couldn’t break the sticks. Then the old man said, “Now, give the sticks to me!”

He took the sticks and untied them. Then he gave one stick to each boy and said, “Now, try to break the sticks!” This was not difficult, of course. Each boy immediately broke the stick that he held in his hands.

“That is what I wanted to show you,” their father said. “Like the seven sticks, you are strong when you are united. But when you are not united, when you do not stand together and act together, you are no stronger than each of these sticks alone. Let this serve as a lesson to you, to live in peace and friendship, always united in everything that you do!”

What is the Moon Made of?

For many, many hundreds of years, people have asked the question, “What is the moon made of?” Hundreds of strange theories appeared, many of them so fantastic that today they make us smile.

There are many sayings about the moon. It is sometimes compared to a piece of bread (Do you remember the Russian «Над краем избушки висит хлеба краюшка»?); and in English there is a saying: “The moon is made of green cheese”.

With fine satire, Gogol speaks of Hamburg cheese and explains that the moon is usually made out of that cheese – and made badly!

And more than a hundred years had passed before the world received a better explanation.

At last scientists seemed to agree about the kind of material that the moon is made of. But now, seismographs left on the moon have sent back new information and new problems.

The seismographs tell us that waves travel much more slowly through the moon than they do through the earth. Seismographers immediately began to look for materials on earth through which waves pass as slowly as they do through the moon. An American magazine has told us that this kind of material has been found on earth. The material proved to be – good old cheese!

A Joke

A young man walking in the street saw a girl in front of him whose figure seemed very beautiful to him. He ran forward to look at her face, and it was beautiful too.

“I have fallen in love with you,” the young man cried. “Let me kiss your hand. I want to hold your hand forever. I want to marry you.”

“Wait!” the young woman answered. “Go and look at my sister. She is walking there in front of us, and she is more beautiful than I am.”

The young man immediately ran to look at the other woman. But finding her old and not beautiful at all, he ran back to the girl. “You didn’t tell me the truth!” he said. “Aren’t you ashamed to tell lies?”

“And aren’t you ashamed to use the word ‘truth’?” the girl answered. “You said you loved me, but you were quite ready to run to any woman you thought was more beautiful. You don’t know what love is. I’ll never marry such a man!” And she turned and walked away from him.

A Sad Story

Three men were spending their holiday in New York. They were living at a hotel which had forty-five floors and their room was on the last floor.

Returning to the hotel late one night, they were told by the lift man: “I am very sorry, but the lifts in our hotel aren’t running. They stop working at twelve o’clock. You must walk up to your room.”

“We are still young,” one of the men said. “I suppose we can climb up to the forty-fifth floor.” So the men took off their coats and put them in the coat-room. As they were walking past the tenth floor one of the men said, “I am becoming a little tired. I have an idea how to make the climb easier. I shall tell happy or funny stories the next five floors; then Bill will sing songs the next fifteen floors, and Tom will tell sad stories the last fifteen floors.”

They continued climbing, and soon all of them were feeling very tired. But they did not want to show to each other that they were tired, so the first man told happy stories and jokes and the second sang happy songs. When they arrived at the thirtieth floor, the first man said: “Now, Tom, you can begin telling sad stories.”

“Yes,” Tom said, “I must tell you a very sad story. The key to our room is lying in my coat pocket, in the coat-room!”

Pavlov’s Toy Dog

There is a monument to the dog in the Pavlov biological laboratory near St. Petersburg; and a toy dog stands on Pavlov’s bookshelf, in the room where the great scientist carried out his famous research on the higher nervous system. This toy dog has an interesting history. It came from England, and was a gift to Pavlov on the day he received the honorary degree of Doctor at Cambridge University.

On that day in July, 1912, there were several foreign scientists in Cambridge, who had arrived, at the invitation of the University, to receive honorary degrees. Among them was Ivan Pavlov: the University had chosen him for the honour because of his outstanding research.

All the professors and students and many of the inhabitants of the town were present at the ceremony. The great hall was crowded, and there were hundreds of students in the gallery, watching the ceremony. It was opened with the traditional speech in Latin, after which the scientists came forward one by one, to receive the diploma of Doctor of Cambridge.

When Pavlov’s name was called and he began to move forward, there was loud applause in the hall. The students in the gallery over his head were letting a toy dog down to him, and he received it in his arms. As he looked up at the smiling, applauding students, Pavlov’s eyes filled with tears. It was one of the happiest moments in his life.

“We got the idea from Darwin’s grandson, who is a student here at the University,” one of the student leaders told a reporter later. “He remembered that when his grandfather, Charles Darwin, was given the degree of Doctor, the students gave him a toy monkey. It wasn’t a joke – the students wanted to express their support for Darwin in his fight against the opponents of his theory. By giving Pavlov a dog we wanted to express our admiration for his brilliant experiments. We consider him a genius; he deserves the support of all progressive scientists.”

“The gift gave me great pleasure,” Pavlov said, and he added: “Those young people are the future of science, and I am proud to have their support and recognition.”

The Experimental Method

Mr. Jones, a teacher of physics at a boys’ school, was fond of the experimental method in physics and often told the boys to use this method as often as possible.

One day Mr. Jones came to school on a new bicycle which he had bought in London. The bicycle had a pair of pneumatic tyres. The pneumatic tyre had just been invented at that time, and none of the pupils had ever seen it.

At the physics lesson the teacher decided to show the pupils the new invention. He took them into the school yard and said: “Now, children, who can tell me what is there inside this tyre that makes it so hard and yet so elastic?”

The boys gathered round the bicycle and examined the tyres. “Perhaps there is cotton-wool inside”, said one of them.

“No, I think there must be a lot of steel springs inside” said another. “You are both wrong”, said Mr. Jones, Suddenly the third boy who was

standing beside the bicycle cried out, looking very happy: “I know what it is. There’s wind inside!”

Mr. Jones smiled and said: “Well, Tommy, that’s fine indeed! You are nearly right: there is air inside. But how did you find it out?”

“I used the experimental method”, said the boy. “I stuck a nail into the tyre and some wind came out of it”.

For the first time in his life Mr. Jones did not like the use of the experimental method.

Quality

after John Galsworthy I knew Mr.Gessler from the days I was a child because he made my father’s shoes. He had a little shop in a small street. There was no sign on the door of his shop that could attract people’s attention and Mr. Gessler had a few customers like my father, who knew they could not get more comfortable shoes from any other shoemaker.

The shoemaker was a very pleasant and really talented man. He made wonderful shoes, he made them very quickly and the price was quite reasonable. I enjoyed each visit to his shop. But I didn’t have to call at this shop very often, as his shoes were always of high quality, fitted me nicely and I wore them for a long time.

Once I called on him in a pair of shoes which I had bought in some large shop. He touched my left shoe where it was not quite comfortable and said: “Those big companies are not reliable at all. They take our buyers from us by their advertising, not by work.”

He looked very unhappy and I was so sorry for him that I ordered many pairs, more than I wanted. As a result of my purchase I didn’t have to go to him for about two years.

Time flew. When I came to his shop one day, I was surprised to find another name which was painted on the door. The sign on the door was very colourful and attractive. It said that there was a shoemaker who was making shoes for the Royal Family. I decided to come in to find out what happened to Mr. Gessler. A young man in a well-made suit greeted me warmly. He said that Mr. Gessler had died a few years ago. He had to sell the shop as it had become too expensive for him to keep it. He had no one in London who could help him. I could not stay at the shop any longer and left it.

A Good Job

Bill Thompson was a university graduate. That is probably why he got a good job soon after he left the university. He was a barman in a private hospital for the deaf and dumb.

One day, or rather one evening, he wanted to go to a party and asked me to do his work.

–I’m sorry, old chap – I said – but I can’t.

–Why not? – he asked.

–You see, I don’t know the sign language1.

–It’s very simple – he said – the moment you open the bar at 6 in the evening a few chaps will come in. They will make a sign to put the glasses on the table. You will take the glasses and put them on the table. Next they will make a sign to pour out whisky into the glasses and take the money. If you are still worried you can have my telephone number just in case2.

I could not say “no”, so I said “yes”. I opened the bar at 6 and the moment I did so six fellows walked in. They made the sign to put the glasses on the table. Next they made the sign to pour out whisky into the glasses. I did what they wanted. For the next 2 or 3 hours they kept making the sign3 to pour out whisky and at. last they got up to their feet, opened their mouths, but I could not understand anything. I rushed to the. telephone, dialed Bill’s number and told him about it.

–Set your mind at rest4, old chap – he answered roaring with laughter – they have had too many drinks and are singing now! The situation is perfectly regular!

2.You can have my telephone number just in case - (çä.) ты можешь записать номер моего телефона на всякий случай

3.They kept making the signони продолжали делать знак

4.Set your mind at rest - Успокойся!

He Can Afford It

It was the rush hour and Bill was on his way home from London. When he reached Waterloo station, the train was at the platform. Nearly all the carriages were full, but Bill found a seat between two fat ladies in a nonsmoking compartment.

When the train was starting off, a man ran down the platform, opened the carriage door and jumped into the compartment. He was wearing a black suit, a black hat, and he was carrying a black bag, an umbrella and an evening newspaper. As the compartment was full, he opened the door into the corridor and walked towards the front of the train.

The train stopped at every station. Nearly all the passengers got out, except the two ladies in Bill’s compartment. They talked so loudly that Bill went out of the compartment and walked towards the front of the train. Suddenly he saw the man in black again.

He was standing at the open window of a first-class compartment. His right hand was holding the communication cord. He was quite alone in the compartment. Before Bill could do anything, the man pulled the cord. The train stopped and Bill fell forward. When he got up, the man had gone. Bill rushed to the window and saw the man in black walking quickly towards a large house in the park. Bill wanted to run after the man, when the guard

arrived. The guard wondered who had pulled the cord. Bill pointed to the man in black who was walking to the big house. Bill thought he was a thief.

The guard looked out of the window. He saw the man in black. He said: “That’s Sir Bertram Montague. He sometimes doesn’t get out at the station – he pulls out the communication cord as the train passes his house. It costs him 25 pounds each time. But he is so rich that he can afford it”.

Larry and His Friend

Larry had a friend who was in love with a young girl. Once his friend asked him for a favour. He explained to Larry that he wanted his girl to believe that he was very rich and Larry, as he thought, might help him.

He told Larry he would invite the girl to a restaurant. He asked Larry to come to the restaurant at the same time too. He also promised to invite Larry to their table and to introduce him to the girl. The girl’s name was Nancy Ferguson. Larry’s friend said that he would speak of things that belonged to him. Larry should interrupt him and explain to the girl how rich his friend was.

Larry agreed to help his friend. At the appointed time he came to the restaurant and saw his friend and Miss Ferguson having lunch. He was invited to their table and introduced to Miss Ferguson. Larry took a seat at their table. Larry’s friend began his story: “Last Sunday I was out at my little place in the country...”

Larry interrupted him and told the girl that little place was a real estate. His friend smiled and went on: “So I was out there at my little house...”. Larry interrupted him again and told the girl that it was not a little house, it was a beautiful palace.

“His friend smiled again and continued his story: “I called in the maid...” Larry interrupted his friend and informed Miss Ferguson that his friend

had many maids there so he had called one of them.

His friend was very pleased and satisfied with the way Larry behaved. He felt that Miss Ferguson believed that he was very rich. He continued the story and explained to her that he wanted his maid to bring him some hot water, sugar and a little whisky as he got cold …

At that moment he was interrupted again and Larry told the girl that it was not cold, it was galloping consumption.

estate – поместье

galloping consumption – скоротечная чахотка

Post Haste

“I’m glad to see you,” said the little young man who stood by the letter-

box.

“Oh, hallo,” I said, stopping. I recognized him. His name was Simpson and I didn’t know him well. I had only seen him once or twice.

“I see you remember me,” continued he, “and I wonder if you could lend me some money.”

I was surprised. “Money? What for?”

“You see,” he began to explain, “my wife gave me a letter to post, and I have just noticed that it isn’t stamped. It’s already late and the letter must go tonight and I have no money with me.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I haven’t either,” I said. “Oh, dear, dear,” he said.

“Maybe somebody else has,” I said.

We both looked around – there was nobody to be seen. I wanted to go home, but he looked so unhappy, standing there with the blue unstamped envelope, that I really couldn’t leave him alone.

“OK. Let’s go to my place – it’s only a few streets up – and I’ll find some change for you.”

“It’s really very good of you,” said Simpson. At home I gave him the money he needed. He thanked me and left, but very soon came back.

“Well, I’m very sorry to trouble you again,” he said, “but the fact is that I don’t remember where the post-office is. Will you tell me the way?”

I decided to go with him to be sure he would get there. But we were not lucky. When we came the post-office was already closed.

Simpson was so nervous that he dropped the letter on the ground and when he picked it up there was a large black spot on its face.

“Oh, my God,” he said. “My wife told me to post the letter tonight. Perhaps it is not so important, but you don’t know my wife! I had better post it now.*”

Suddenly I remembered that I had a book of stamps at home. “It will be posted,” I said.

We went back home and it took us rather a long time to find the book of stamps, but when we found it, we saw after all that it was empty. The last thing I could advise Simpson to do was to post the letter unstamped. “Let the other man pay the double postage* on it in the morning.”

I took him by the arm and accompanied him to the office, where he at last dropped his letter into the letter-box just in time for the midnight collection.

“I’m so grateful to you, really,” he said. “That letter – it’s only an invitation to dinner, to Mr.... Oh, dear me!”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. Something that I have just remembered.” “What?”

But he didn’t tell me. He just opened his eyes and his mouth wide, hurriedly said “Good night” and went home.

I understood everything only the next morning, when I had to pay the postman double postage for a blue envelope with a large black spot on its face.’

I had better post it now – Я уж лучше отправлю его сейчас.

Double postage – оплата почтовых расходов в двойном размере, в случае если письмо отправлено без марки.

How to Be a Doctor

The point I want to develop is that the modern doctor’s business is a very easy one, which could be learned in about two weeks. This is the way it is done.

The patient enters the consulting room. “Doctor,” he says, “I have a bad pain.”

“Where is it?” “Here.”

“Stand up,” says the doctor, “and put your arms above your head.” Then the doctor goes behind the patient and gives him a powerful blow

in the back. “Do you feel that?” he says. “I do,” says the patient. Then the doctor turns suddenly and gives him another blow under the heart. “Can you feel that?” he says as the patient falls over on the sofa. “Get up,” says the doctor, and counts ten. The patient rises. The doctor looks him over very carefully without speaking, and then suddenly gives him a blow in the stomach that makes him speechless. The doctor walks over to the window and reads the morning paper for a while. Then he turns and begins to speak, more to himself than to the patient. “Hum!” he says, “there’s some anaesthesia of the tympanum.” “Is that so?” says the patient. “What can I do about it, Doctor?” “Well,” says the doctor, “I want you to keep very quiet, you’ll have to go to bed and stay there and keep quiet.” In reality, of course, the doctor hasn’t the least idea what is wrong with the man, but he does know that if he will go to bed and keep quiet, very quiet, he’ll either get quietly well again or else die a quiet death. Meanwhile, if the doctor calls every morning and thumps and beats him, he can make the patient tell him what is wrong with him.

“What about diet, Doctor?” says the patient.

The answer to this question depends on how the doctor is feeling and whether it is long since he had a meal himself. If it is late in the morning and the doctor is hungry, he says: “Oh, eat well, don’t be afraid of it; eat meat, vegetables, anything you like.”

But if the doctor has just had lunch, he says: “No, I don’t want you to eat anything at all; absolutely nothing; it won’t hurt you.”

And yet, isn’t it funny? You and I and the rest of us – even if we know all this – as soon as we feel a pain run for a doctor as fast as we can.

Three Men in a Boat

(After Jerome K. Jerome)

I remember going to the British Museum one day to read up the treatment for some slight illness of which I had a touch. I got down the book and read all I came to read and then, in an unthinking moment, I turned the pages and began to study illnesses generally. I forget which was the first I read but before I had looked down the list of symptoms, I was sure that I had got it.

I sat for a time in horror; and then I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever – read the symptoms – discovered that I had typhoid fever – wondered what else I had got, and so started to read alphabetically. I read through the twenty-six letters and found out that I had got all the illnesses but one.

I sat and thought what an interesting case I must be from a medical point of view. Students would have no need to walk to the hospitals if they had me. I was a hospital in myself. All they needed to do would be to walk round me, and, after that, take their diploma.

Then I wondered how long I had to live. I tried to examine myself. I felt my pulse. I could not at first feel my pulse at all. Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to start off. I took out my watch and timed it. I made it a hundred and forty-seven to the minute. I tried to feel my heart. But I could not feel or hear anything... I went to my medical man. He is an old friend of mine, and feels my pulse, and talks about the weather, all for nothing, when I think I’m ill.

“What a doctor wants,” I said, “is practice. He will have me. He will get more practice out of me than out of seventeen hundred patients.”

So I went straight up. The doctor looked at me and said: “Well, what’s the matter with you?”

I said, “I shall not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me. Life is short and you might die before I had finished. But I shall tell you what is not the matter with me.”

And I told him everything.

After that, he sat down and wrote out a prescription, and gave it to me, and I put it in my pocket and went out.

I did not open it. I took it to the nearest chemist’s and handed it in. The man read it, and then handed it back. He said he didn’t keep it.

I said, “You are a chemist?” He said, “I am a chemist, not a co-operative store and family hotel combined.”

I read the prescription:

“1 pound of beefsteak, with 1 bottle of beer every six hours.

1 ten-mile walk every morning.

1 bed at 11 every night.

And don’t fill up your head with things you don’t understand.”

Mistaken Identity

(After Mark Twain)

Years ago I arrived one day at Salamanca near New York, where I was to change trains and take the sleeper. There were crowds of people on the platform, and they were all trying to get into the long sleeper train which was already packed.

I asked the young man in the booking-office if I could have two tickets, and he answered “No!” and shut the window in my face.

I found a local official and asked him if I could have some poor little corner somewhere in a sleeping-car, but he cut me short saying: “No, you can’t, every corner is full. Now don’t bother me any more,” and he turned his back on me and walked off.

I felt so hurt that I said to my companion, “These people talk to me like this because they don’t know who I am. If they knew – “.

But my friend stopped me. “Don’t talk such nonsense,” he said, “if they knew who you are, do you think it would help you to get a vacant seat in a train which has no vacant seats in it?” That was too much.

I found the same local official and said very politely that my name was Mark Twain and ... But he cut me short again: “I told you not to trouble me any more,” and again he turned his back on me.

I looked around helplessly but just then I noticed that the young porter of a sleeping-car had his eye on me. He whispered to the conductor pointing to me, and the conductor came to me, his face all politeness.

“Can I be of any service to you, sir?” he said. “Will you have a place in the sleeper?” “Yes, certainly,” I said. “We have nothing left except the big family compartment,” he continued. “Here, Tom, take these suitcases to the big family compartment.”

Then he touched his hat and we moved along. The porter made us comfortable in the compartment, and then said, “Now, is there anything you want, sir? Because you can have just anything you want.”

“Well. Now, that lamp is rather too high. Can I have another lamp just at the head, so that I can read comfortably?”

“Yes, sir. The lamp you want is in the next compartment. I’ll get it from there and fix it here. Yes, sir, you can ask for anything you want.” And he disappeared.

Here I smiled at my companion and said, “Well, what do you say now? Didn’t their attitude change the moment they learned that I was Mark Twain?” As I was saying this, the porter’s smiling face appeared in the doorway, and this speech followed, “Oh, sir, I recognized you the minute I set my eyes on you. I told the conductor so.”

“Is that so, my boy?” I said handing him a good tip. “Who am I?” “Mr. McClellan, Mayor of New York,” he said and disappeared.

The Dragonfly and the Bee

The Bee and the Dragonfly went to school in the forest. Although they sat at the same desk, they were not friends. Even in the break they played separately.

One day the Bee caught a cold and didn’t come to school. “It’s nothing much,” they said in class. “It doesn’t matter if she misses a day or two. The Bee always gets good marks and she will catch up.”

So the children insects said they were sorry their friend was ill, and that was all. Only the Dragonfly couldn’t stop worrying. She sat there looking very miserable, rubbing her eyes, and then she began to cry.

“Oh, oh,” she wept. “If only little Bee could get well again quickly. How shall I get on without her?”

“Just look!” the Mosquito exclaimed. “Who would have thought that Dragonfly could be such good friends with anybody?”

And nobody knew what a good reason the Dragonfly had for crying. She always copied her homework from the Bee.

The Mechanical Cow

“The cow is of the bovine ilk;One end is moo, the other, milk.”

Mr. Hugh Franklin, a chemical engineer, has spent the past eight years in a laboratory in Fulham, trying to separate the moo from the milk so as to make artificial milk without the help of a cow.

He has done so well that his factory is producing three tons of Plantmilk a week. Today Dr. Franklin, who is the first industrial producer of milk in the world, is closing the Fulham laboratory where he invented the philosopher’s stone that can turn old cabbage leaves into milk.

The system works by putting Brussels sprouts or almost any other greenleaf plant in at one end of the process, and collecting a white creamy liquid from the other end, tasting something like milk. It works, in fact, on exactly the same principle as a cow.

Dr. Franklin has made Plantmilk from almost everything. The milk began as a health food, for those who cannot drink cow milk. It still costs about half as much as cow milk. When it becomes cheaper than milk, it can get to the market.

He is working on the development of artificial powdered milk. This will be cheaper to transport, and in many other ways more convenient.

The by-products of the process already include plant cream and cheese, and a dark milk chocolate. A cow with four legs and a tail gives as milk only a tenth of the protein that she eats. Dr. Franklin’s mechanical cow gives three quarters of the protein it takes. The inventor is enthusiastic of the strange milk he makes and drinks.

Life as I find It

(Adapted from Mark Twain) A man lives in Philadelphia, who, when young and poor, entered a bank, and said: “Please, sir, don’t you want a boy?” And the bank man said: “No,

little boy, I don’t want a little boy.”

The little boy went silently down the steps of the bank. The bank man stepped behind a door for he thought the little boy was going to throw a stone at him. But the little boy picked up something, and stuck it in his poor jacket.

“Come here, little boy,” the bank man said, and the little boy came up to him. “What did you pick up?” The little boy answered: “A pin.” And the bank man said: “Little boy, are you good?” and he said he was. And the bank man said: “Whom dc you vote for? – excuse me, do you go to school?” and he said he did.

Then the bank man took down a pen made of gold, and he wrote, on a piece of paper, “St. Peter,” and he asked the little boy what it stood for, and he said: “Salt Peter.” Then the bank man said it meant “Saint Peter”. Then the little boy said: “Oh!”

Then the bank man took the little boy into partnership, and gave him half the profits and all the capital, and he married the bank man’s daughter and now all he has is all his, and all his own, too.

My uncle told me this story, and I spent six weeks in picking up pins in front of the bank. I expected the bank man would call me in and say: “Little boy, are you good?” and I was going to say, “Yes,” and when he asked me what “St. John” stood for, I was going to say “Salt John”. But the bank man didn’t want to have a partner, for one day he said to me, “Little boy, what’s that you’re picking up?” I said, “Pins.” He said: “Let’s see them.” And he took them, and I took off my cap, ready to go in the bank and become a partner, and marry his daughter. But I didn’t get an invitation. He said: “Those pins belong to the bank, and if I catch you hanging around any more I’ll set the dog on you!” Then I left and the old man kept the pins. Such is life as I find it.

Applying for a job

When I gave my name to the woman at the reception desk and told her why I had come, she seemed a bit surprised.

“Oh, uh... well, just take a seat. Mr Lambert will be here soon,” she said, and pointed to some chairs at the other end of the room. Three young women all about my age were sitting there. They gave me a strange look as if I shouldn’t be there at all. I sat down near the door and had another look at the advertisement I had come across it in the local paper.

I had written a short letter about myself and had got back a brief note, asking me to come for an interview.

What had surprised me was the fact that they hadn’t sent me a proper application form to fill out or even asked me for a photograph. And so, as I sat there, waiting for Mr Lambert, I couldn’t help wondering if they realized I was a man. I had signed the letter “Chris Neale”. Did they think that “Chris” was short for “Christine” and not “Christopher”? I had done clerical work before, knew something about computers, and spoke Spanish fluently. But perhaps this was one of those jobs open only to women, even though they didn’t say so.

After a while, a man in his early thirties came in. He had a sports jacket and jeans on, and no tie. He didn’t seem to notice me and introduced himself as Jack Lambert to the three women.

“I’d like to tell you a bit about the company first, and then I’ll interview each of you separately. But where’s the other girl...uh, what’s her name?” he said, and looked at his list.

“Chris Neale?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” he said as he turned round. When he saw me, he let out a surprised “Oh”. Then he added, “That isn’t you, is it?” I began to feel very embarrassed.