Miller T. - Making Sense of Motherhood[c] A Narrative Approach (2005)(en)

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(Urwin, 1985:177). The development and introduction of the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale in the UK is one attempt to focus on women’s mental health in the early weeks following childbirth. A health visitor administers the questionnaire when she visits the mother in her home. Boxes are ticked according to how the woman says she has felt over the preceding seven days. Responses are then coded and a ‘diagnosis’ made. Whilst this initiative could be welcomed as an attempt to collate women’s experiences of early mothering, it is a blunt instrument with which to gather sensitive material and questions have been raised about its usefulness (Barker, 1998). Indeed, it could be seen as yet another practice that medicalises and, in turn, problematises normal early mothering experiences. Many women would agree that they felt tearful and at times unhappy in the days and weeks and sometimes months following the birth of their child. Patterns of care following the birth of a child are, then, largely normatively preoccupied and task-based, with an emphasis on routine measures being taken to indicate a ‘return to normal’.

The close supervision and sense of shared responsibility engendered by professional antenatal practices and experienced from confirmation of pregnancy, ceases in most Western societies shortly after the birth. Any feelings which had been placed as secondary to authoritative, medical knowledge in the antenatal period are now expected to come to the fore: women are expected to instinctively know how to be mothers. Whilst women may be socialised from birth into gendered, ‘female’ roles, the experience of becoming a mother may not resonate with earlier expectations. Births are often different from what had been expected, and the tasks of early mothering can seem daunting and the responsibility for a small baby overwhelming. The dominance of particular ways of knowing in the antenatal period, which reinforce particular notions of good mothering, can be seen to be potentially disempowering and ‘may make it difficult to take back control after the birth, when (a mother) may have no real knowledge of her own feelings, or her baby’ (Lupton, 1994: 148–9). Indeed, the technologies and practices involved in the medicalisation of reproduction increasingly separate women from knowing their own bodies. Thus ‘the history of Western obstetrics is the history of technologies of separation (and) it is very, very hard to conceptually put back together that which medicine has rendered asunder’ (Rothman cited in Davis-Floyd and Davis, 1997:315)

Narratives: making sense of personal transition

As noted in chapter 1, the need for individuals to make connections between the personal and the social, and thus make sense of their

experiences, is increasingly regarded as a feature of changing Western societies in which choices have become more complex. In the face of these greater uncertainties and complex choices, there is an increased need to create and maintain ontological security and ‘new certainties for oneself ’ (Beck, 1994:14; Lupton, 1999). This is achieved by the production of biographical or ontological narratives. Through these a recognisable sense of self is shaped and maintained, through a process of continual reflection and reworking. Individuals, then, make sense of experiences and project particular self-identities through narratives that are shaped by the material, cultural and political circumstances in which they live. As we have seen, during pregnancy the themes of late modernity are clearly played out as trust is largely placed in experts, and expert knowledge is ranked above that emanating from the experiences of family and friends. Ontological security is maintained throughout this period of transition based on a relationship of trust in experts and the knowledge that appropriate and responsible preparation, which implicitly diminishes risk, is being undertaken. But at this stage it is important to note that women anticipating the birth of their first child do not have the reflexive grasp that comes from experience. They are anticipating motherhood but are not yet mothers and so can only appeal to idealised notions of motherhood, or accounts from family and friends. Ideas about the type of mother women want to be are formed at this time from an array of sources, but it is the birth of a first child that is a crucial turning point. The experience of giving birth and being a mother usually leads women to reflect that their lived experiences are different from their expectations and to question their ‘expert’ preparation. They do not necessarily feel like the type of mother they had envisaged being, and shifting identities involving a temporary loss of an old, recognisable self, can add to this period of confusion (see chapters 5 and 6).

At some point during the early weeks and months of becoming a mother, early experiences of mothering that do not resonate with expectations have to be made sense of and reconciled. For a woman reflecting from this newly held position, the trust placed in experts during the antenatal period can gradually come to feel misplaced. Becoming a mother usually turns out to be different from what had been anticipated, as expectations are replaced by experiences. Plans that had seemed plausible before the birth have to be rethought as a sense of a pre-baby self (the old you) becomes subsumed within the new identities associated with being a mother. The conflicting and sometimes overwhelming feelings of love, guilt, exhaustion, joy and fear are not uncommon experiences in the early weeks and months of becoming a mother. But they need to be understood, and made sense of, recognised and accepted as normal

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responses to early mothering experiences and motherhood. For the many women who find that their experiences are different from what they had expected, the need to produce culturally recognisable accounts of early mothering, demonstrating that they are ‘good’ mothers who are coping, can appear paramount. Women may feel that they must conceal difficult or contrary experiences because of the morally underpinned context in which we mother. This also has implications for social action and women may confine themselves to the home, where new mothering is easier to manage. The birth of a child instantly leads others to identify women as mothers, and yet for the individual the process may be much more gradual. It is clear, then, that the powerful knowledges and practices that shape the context in which women become mothers, provide a challenging backdrop against which to make sense of and narrate early experiences. Cultural scripts and expectations do not necessarily fit individual experiences and yet women are expected to naturally know how to mother. It is only after the passage of time, leading to a shift in perception of who is the expert around reproduction and childbearing and the regaining of sense of a pre-baby self, that difficult and challenging accounts of transition eventually can be voiced (see chapter 6). Over time, women come to know their babies and feel able to differentiate between competing expert and lay knowledge claims. Eventually, they become the experts in relation to their own children, and they know that they are doing ‘good enough’ mothering.

Becoming a mother in late modern society

Becoming a mother in late modern society is, then, a highly complex experience. We must be cautious about any claims made in relation to universal experiences, and at the same time acknowledge the embodied act of birth and its cultural inscription and social location. In exploring the pathways through the landscape of childbearing and motherhood, feminists are continually faced with challenges. The key challenge is summed up succinctly by Linda Rennie Forcey, who observes the need to ‘seek balance between the essentialism lurking in simplified notions of ‘‘mothers’’ as a homogeneous group and the equally important need for political unity and an ethic of care’ (Forcey, 1999:304). Yet the context keeps changing, and we have to pay close attention to the ways in which changes infiltrate and shape expectations and ways of doing and being. So, whilst debates continue to surround the place of reproduction and childbearing in women’s lives, the context in which childbearing takes place reflects other shifts that have occurred across many Western societies. Patterns within women’s lives have shifted, with many women

having children either much earlier or later in life, alone or partnered, combining work and mothering, or choosing to remain childless (childfree). These general trends are echoed across other Western societies (Eurostats, 2000; National Vital Statistics, 2000). Fathers have also been identified as a new consumer group (Barbour, 1990) and their role throughout the childbearing process and after has become a focus of research and debate (Laqueur, 1992; Ruddick, 1992; Mitchell and Goody, 1997; Helman, 2001). In the USA and across many European countries, ‘the family’ is increasingly repositioned as the cornerstone of society and policies to support particular types of family are promoted, whilst at the same time, families of choice and other ways of living are also being championed. In the UK, the rights of the child have also been increasingly recognised and detailed in legislation (for example, Children Act 1989) and meeting children’s needs has become an ambiguous government concern. Parenting has been redefined in terms of skills to be learned and practised and parenting classes are increasingly offered or prescribed (Webster-Stratton, 1997; Home Office, 1998). Across many European countries maternity and paternity leave has been increased or introduced although not necessarily financially supported. But for all these changes, in almost all societies the rearing of children continues to be predominately undertaken by women, a significant number of whom parent alone and in poverty.

The context, then, in which women negotiate their journeys into motherhood and in which mothering is experienced, continues to shift. Writing in another context, Plummer has drawn our attention to the possibilities of challenges to ‘old stories’ and the ‘obdurate grip’ of others (1995:131). It is the ‘obdurate grip’ of the myths around motherhood which provides a recurrent theme across the chapters of this book. Feminists have, over several generations, debated and called for changes in the conditions in which mothering is experienced. Yet it appears that the difficulties of ‘telling the hard things about motherhood’ (Ross, 1995:398) remains, and essentialist notions of ‘normal’ and ‘natural’ transition make confronting and voicing difficult experiences particularly problematic (Nicolson, 1998; Mauthner, 2002). Wider social changes have translated into mothering occurring at different times in women’s lives. The significance of mothering to women’s lives within the context of changed educational opportunities for (some) women and the resulting shifts in patterns of employment, also has implications for constructions of motherhood. There is an increase in the number of single mothers and others who follow ‘non-traditional’ ways of living and parenting (McRae, 1999). In all late modern societies, contemporary mothering arrangements are more diverse, yet often remain unrecognised in areas of family

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policy and practice (Stacey, 1996; Duncan and Edwards, 1999). This is apparent in relation to mothers whose mothering challenges stereotypes. The experiences of mothers who have found themselves to be marginalised: teen mothers, immigrant mothers, lesbian mothers, homeless mothers, welfare mothers and incarcerated mothers, have been studied in recent years (Garcia Coll et al., 1998). These ‘types’ of mothers all represent groups who challenge the ‘‘‘good’’ mother narrative [which] attempts to assert uniformity where there is diversity; consensus where there are differing perspectives’ (Garcia Coll et al., 1998:12). But the difficulties of making women’s different and differing voices either heard or count have remained. Feminist and other research has continued to explore the differences and commonalities of contemporary mothering experiences. Yet the practices around motherhood in the West remain grounded in assumptions of mothering as biologically determined, instinctive and natural.

Conclusion

Transformations in Western societies have led to different ways of living and organising personal lives and intimate relationships. These changes differentially impact on individuals’ lives, according to the ways in which lives are embedded in particular power relations. For some, and particularly those in the West, there is a pattern of greater self-reflexivity, which emerges as a mechanism for making sense of a life in the increasing absence of traditional, taken-for-granted, gendered fates. Individuals, then, increasingly seek understanding of their experiences and lives through the construction and reworking of biographical narratives. Becoming a mother changes lives in all sorts of ways, both anticipated and unexpected. But the contemporary context can make constructing and voicing biographical narratives difficult. This is because motherhood is ‘mainly lived out in a private, domestic sphere’, but it is measured according to societal norms and professional normative practices, which ignore the diversity of women’s experiences (Phoenix and Woollett, 1991). Because motherhood and family are closely associated with an individual’s moral being, moral identities may be challenged and compromised during transition to motherhood. Disclosure of experiences which do not resonate with expectations, both personally held and socially constructed, may, then, be perceived as too risky. The complex and contradictory dimensions of motherhood – the embodied physical act of birth, essentialist notions of mothering, the social and cultural contexts in which mothers and their children live their lives – make understanding and voicing normal difficulties problematic. Yet,

paradoxically, the very act of not voicing difficult experiences maintains and perpetuates the myths that continue to surround motherhood. Women becoming mothers for the first time come to terms with their individual experiences within these shifting and contradictory contexts and from different positions within the social world. In the following three chapters the experiences of a group of women can be glimpsed, as their journeys into first-time motherhood unfold.

chapters women’s accounts of their experiences move centre stage. We follow them on their journeys into motherhood. This focus enables us to note the ways in which they anticipate and prepare for motherhood and position themselves in particular ways in relation to dominant bodies of expert knowledge: how they construct and narrate their experiences. Although these chapters are organised according to the arguments outlined above, it is also interesting for the reader to trace individual women’s accounts within and across the three chapters. In this way, individual stories of anticipation, tentative hopes, fears and experiences of becoming a mother, can be captured. In presenting the data in this way, I am also imposing a neat order through a focus on narrative trajectories whilst acknowledging that lives are lived in messier, less coherent, ways. The narratives are organised around linear time, chronologically. This mirrors the stages in transition to motherhood, which rely on medically defined language, i.e. antenatal (or prenatal) and early and late postnatal periods. It is also important to note that the longitudinal dimensions of this study both enabled, and indeed invited, reflexivity and to once again urge caution in relation to the assumptions and claims we make in relation to reflexivity (see chapter 7). This is because it assumes a capacity for active and engaged reflexivity, beyond the reflexivity that is an intrinsic dimension of all human action. Theories of reflexivity may not take sufficient account of oppressive structural and material conditions which shape lives and possibilities (see chapters 1 and 7). That we should not presume the reflexive social actor was brought home to me early on in my research. In one interview, I asked Faye how she would describe being pregnant and she replied ‘I’m not very good on words and things like that.’ I was aware that Faye had been surprised that I had not arrived with a questionnaire but a short interview schedule, and she seemed bemused that I should be interested in her experiences, even though we had talked through the format when arranging to meet. In subsequent interviews Faye seemed much more at ease with the interview format and talking about her experiences. However, in the end-of-study questionnaire Faye made the following comment ‘sometimes I would have preferred a little time to think about the questions. I realise that initial response is important but I found myself thinking about some of my answers later and wishing I had added other things’. This shows the ways in which the interview encounter can prompt reflection both during and after the interview. Yet, whilst all this is to caution against assuming the actively reflexive, experienced storyteller, it should not deter us from noting how changes in late modernity in Western societies increasingly lead individuals to be reflexive, at some level. In gathering these women’s accounts of transition to motherhood I was known by the participants to be both a

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researcher and a mother. This information will have shaped both the interview encounter and the ways in which expectations and experiences were narrated: what was said and what was left unsaid (see chapter 7).

Antenatal care (as it is referred to in the UK, although prenatal care is the term used in the USA) is available to all women in the UK, irrespective of the ability to pay, under the National Health Service (NHS). The differences that characterise access to, and quality of, prenatal care in the USA do not exist in the same way in the UK. Even so, there is a wealth of literature available to show that inequalities continue to be a feature of the access to, and services provided by, the NHS, that the ‘inverse care law’ continues to exist (Tudor Hart, 1971; Lazarus, 1997; Shaw et al., 1999). Deference to medical knowledge and engagement with those perceived to be experts, are features of late modernity. These will be explored in relation to debates on risk, trust in experts and individual control, and these themes will also be returned to in subsequent chapters. The layers within narratives have also provided markers to the ways in which women negotiate between the lived experience of mothering and the institution of motherhood (Rich, 1977). Finally then, the aim has not been to uncover ‘truths’ about transition to motherhood, but rather to listen to and explore the ways in which women gradually make sense of and narrate their experiences of this period of personal transition, the authenticity of accounts being ‘created in the process of storytelling’ (Frank, 2002:1). This approach involves engaging with the substantive data within the framework of exploring how and why narratives are constructed and presented in particular ways, how women make sense of this period of transition. The complexities of narrating experiences of periods of personal transition will also be explored. This will be achieved through a focus on different layers of narrative as both engagement and resistance are discerned in accounts. Substantive areas which have emerged from the data will be used to illustrate how narratives anticipating motherhood are constructed in relation to individuals’ perceptions of ‘expert knowledge’ and changing perceptions of self. The two following chapters will show how these perceptions can be seen to shift over time, leading eventually to the reconstruction of previous accounts or the production and voicing of counter-narratives, linked to a shifting sense of self. The participants’ attempts to make sense of this period of transition are most clearly demonstrated in the following areas: preparation and engagement with ‘experts’ (preparing appropriately and anticipating the birth), the shifting sense of ‘selves’ and anticipating motherhood. These areas will provide the focus of this chapter. Whilst they will be largely explored separately, they are also interlinked and interwoven, and underpinned by differential experiences of wishing to retain control.