Dialogues by heart

In a cafe

CHRISTINA: What would you like to eat, Peter? The cheese sandwiches are the cheapest.

PETER: Er . . mmm. . . oh, a cheese sandwich, please, Christina.

CHRISTINA: Cheese... mmm... Janine? Would you like a beef sandwich or a cheese sandwich?

JANINE: A cheese sandwich, please.

PETER: What about you, Christina? Would you like cheese or beef sandwich?

WAITRESS: Are you all ready to order? What would you like to eat?

CHRISTINA: Er, we'll have one beef sandwich, two cheese sandwiches and, mmm, tea for me.

JANINE: Tea for me too, please.

PETER: Yes, make that three teas, please.

WAlTRESS: One beef sandwich, two cheese sandwiches and three teas.

Heidi, Caroline and Nigel

Heidi: Hi, Nigel.

Nigel: Hi, Heidi. Hi, Caroline. You're looking nice, Caroline.

Nigel: Would you like some ice coffee, Caroline?

Caroline: No, thanks, Nigel. I'm busy typing. I have 99 pages to type by Friday.

Nigel: Never mind. Do you like motor bike riding, Caroline?

Caroline: Sometimes. (Mobile phone rings)... My mobile!... Hello... Hi, Riley! Mmmm!... I'd like that... Mmmm... at five... at the library... it's 19 High Street... bye bye!

Nigel: Would you like to come riding with me tonight, Caroline?

Caroline: Not tonight, Nigel. I'm going for a drive with Riley.

Nigel: What about Friday?

Caroline: Friday? I'm going climbing with Miles.

Nigel: All right then. Bye.

Heidi: Caroline, Nigel's put something behind your computer.

Caroline: Is it something nice, Heidi?

Heidi: No. It's a spider.

A mouse in the house

Mr Brown: I've found a mouse!!!

Mrs Brown: Oh! You're shouting too loudly. Sit down and don't frown.

Mr Brown: I've found a mouse in the house.

Mrs Brown: A town mouse?

Mr Brown: Yes. A little round mouse. It's running around in the lounge.

Mrs Brown: On the ground?

Mr Brown: Yes. It's under the couch now.

Mrs Brown: Well, get it out.

Mr Brown: How?

Mrs Brown: Turn the couch upside down. Get it out somehow. We don't want a mouse in our house. Ours is the cleanest house in the town!

Royal Rolls Royce

Roy Coyne: What a terrible noise, Mrs Royal!

Joyce Royal: Isn't it annoying, Roy? It's out of oil.

Roy Coyne: A Rolls Royce! Out of oil? ... And look! The water's boiling. Perhaps you've spoilt the motor. Or even destroyed it. How disappointing! It's such a beautiful Rolls Royce!... And a Rolls Royce isn't a toy!

Joyce Royal: How disappointing! I'll be late for my appointment.

Snow in October

Joanna: Joe! Joe! Joe! Hello, wake up, Joe!

Joe: Oh! What is it, Joanna?

Joanna: Look out of the window.

Joe: No. My eyes are closed, and I'm going to go to sleep again.

Joanna: Oh! Don't go to sleep, Joe. Look at the snow!

Joe: Snow? But it's only October. I know there's no snow.

Joanna: Come over to the window, Joe.

Joe: You're joking, Joanna. There's no snow.

Joanna: OK. I'll put my coat on and go out and make a snowball and throw it at your nose, Joe Jones!

A washing machine

MRS MARSH: Does this shop sell washing machines?

MR SHAW: Yes. This is the latest washing machine.

MRS MARSH: Is it Swedish?

MR SHAW: No, madam. It’s English.

MRS MARSH: Could you show me how it washes?

MR SHAW: Shall I give you a demonstration? This one is our special demonstration machine. It’s so simple. You take some sheets and shirts. You put them in the machine. You shut this door. And you push this button.

MRS MARSH: The machine shouldn't shake like that, should it?

MR SHAW: Washing machines always shake, madam. Ah! It’s finished now.

MRS MARSH: But the sheets have shrunk and so have the shirts.

MR SHAW: Do you wish to buy this machine, madam?

MRS MARSH: I 'm not sure.

Gossips

Catherine: Samantha Roth is only thirty.

Ruth: Is she? I thought she was thirty-three.

Catherine: Samantha's birthday was last Thursday.

Ruth: Was it? I thought it was last month.

Catherine: The Roth's house is worth six hundred thousand.

Ruth: Is it? I thought it was worth three hundred thousand.

Catherine: Ross Roth is the author of a book about moths.

Ruth: Is he? I thought he was a mathematician.

Catherine: I'm so thirsty.

Ruth: Are you? I thought you drank something as the Roths'.

Catherine: No, Samantha gave me nothing to drink.

Ruth: Shall I buy you a drink?

Catherine: Thank you.