The Undomestic Goddess - Sophie Kinsella

“But you’re still in banking law, right? Don’t tell me you’ve made a complete change?” He suddenly looks galvanized. “You haven’t gone into commercial law, have you?”

“Um, no… not commercial law. I’d better go.” I cut him off and open the door to the interview room. “See you later.”

I eat my sandwiches, I drink my mineral water. For half an hour no one disturbs me. I feel a bit like I’m in quarantine for some deadly illness. They could have given me some magazines, at least. I’ve developed quite a habit for gossip, after being surrounded by Trish’s endless supply of Heat and Hello!

At last I hear a knock at the door and Ketterman comes in.

“Samantha.We would like to see you in the boardroom.”

The boardroom?

I follow Ketterman down the corridors, aware of the nudges and whisperings from everyone we pass. He opens the huge double doors to the boardroom and I walk in to see about half the partners standing there, waiting for me. There’s silence as Ketterman closes the doors. I glance at Guy, who grins back encouragingly but says nothing.

Am I supposed to speak? Did I miss the instructions? Ketterman has joined the group of partners. Now he turns to face me.

“Samantha. As you know, an investigation of… recent events is under way. The results have not yet been fully determined.” He breaks off, looking tense, and I can see some of the others exchanging sober looks. “However, we have come to one conclusion.You were… wronged.”

I’m stupefied. He’s admitting it? Getting a lawyer to admit they’ve made a mistake is like getting a movie star to admit they had liposuction.

“I’m sorry?” I say, just to force him to repeat it.

“You were wronged.” Ketterman frowns, clearly not enjoying this part of the conversation at all. I almost want to laugh.

“I was… wrong?” I hazard, looking puzzled.

“Wronged!” he snaps.“Wronged!”

“Oh, wronged. Well, thank you.” I smile politely. “I appreciate that.”

They’ll probably offer me some kind of bonus, it crosses my mind. A luxury gift basket. Or even a holiday.

“And therefore—” Ketterman pauses. “We would like to offer you full equity partnership in the firm. Effective immediately.”

I’m so shocked I nearly sit down on the floor. Full equity partnership?

I open my mouth—but I can’t speak. I feel winded. I look around helplessly, like a fish on the end of a line. Full

equity partnership is the highest pinnacle, way above the first rung of partnership. It’s the most prestigious job in law. I never, ever, ever expected that.

“Welcome back, Samantha,” says Greg Parker.

“Welcome back,” chime in a few others. David Elldridge gives me a warm smile. Guy gives me the thumbs-up.

“We have some champagne.” Ketterman nods to Guy, who opens the double doors. The next moment two waitresses from the partners’ dining room are coming in with trays of champagne glasses. Someone puts one in my hand.

This is all going too fast.

“Er… excuse me?” I call out. “I haven’t actually said if I’ll accept it.”

The whole room seems to freeze, like a videotape on pause.

“I’m sorry?” Ketterman turns to me.

Oh, God. I’m not sure they’re going to take this very well.

“The thing is…” I break off and take a sip of champagne for Dutch courage, trying to work out how to put this tactfully.

I’ve been thinking about it all day, over and over. Being a partner at Carter Spink is the dream I’ve had all my adult life. The glittering prize. It’s everything I ever wanted…

Except all the things I never knew I wanted. Things I had no idea about until a few weeks ago. Like fresh air. Like evenings off. Unburdened weekends. Making plans with friends. Sitting in the pub after my work is done, drinking cider, with nothing to do, nothing hanging over me.

Even if they’re offering me full equity partnership, it doesn’t change the way I feel. It doesn’t change me. Mrs. Farley was right: I’ve blossomed. I’m not a husk anymore.

Why would I go back to being a husk?

I clear my throat.

“It’s a tremendous honor to be offered such an amazing opportunity,” I say earnestly. “And I’m very grateful. Truly.

However… the reason I came back wasn’t to get my job back. It was to clear my name. To prove that I didn’t make a mistake.” I can’t help shooting a look at Guy. “The truth is, since leaving Carter Spink I’ve… well… moved on. I have a job. Which I very much enjoy. So I won’t be taking up your offer.”

There’s a stunned silence.

“Thank you,” I add again, politely. “And… er… thanks for the champagne.”

“Is she serious?” says someone at the back. Ketterman and Elldridge are exchanging frowns.

“Samantha,” says Ketterman, coming forward. “You may have found opportunities elsewhere. But you are a

Carter Spink lawyer. This is where you trained, this is where you belong.”

“If it’s a question of salary,” adds Elldridge, “I’m sure we can match whatever you’re currently—” He glances at Guy. “Which law firm has she gone to?”

“Wherever you are, I’ll speak to the senior partner,” says Ketterman in a businesslike way. “The personnel director… whoever would be appropriate. We’ll sort this out. If you give me a number.” He’s taking out his BlackBerry.

My mouth twists. I desperately want to laugh.

“There isn’t a personnel director,” I explain. “Or a senior partner.”

“There isn’t a senior partner?” Ketterman looks impatient. “How can there not be a senior partner?”

“I never said I was working as a lawyer.”

It’s as if I’ve said I think the world is flat. I have never seen so many flummoxed faces in my life.

“You’re… not working as a lawyer?” says Elldridge at last. “What are you working as, then?”

I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. But on the other hand, why shouldn’t they know?

“I’m working as a housekeeper.” I smile.

“ ‘Housekeeper?’ ” Elldridge peers at me. “Is that the new jargon for