The Undomestic Goddess - Sophie Kinsella

raspberry-stained skirt, put on his jeans, and brought down some beer from the Geigers’ fridge. I sit up, my head still groggy, to see him leaning against a tree on the grass.

“Slacker,” I say. “The Geigers think you’re tying up sweet peas.”

He turns toward me with a flicker of amusement. “Sleep well?”

“How long was I asleep?” I put my hand to my face and remove a small stone. I feel totally disoriented.

“Couple of hours. You want some of this?” He gestures to the bottle. “It scold.”

I get to my feet, brush myself down, put on my skirt and bra as a good

compromise outfit and join him. I sink back against the tree trunk, my bare feet in the cool grass.

“God, I feel so…” I lift a hand and let it drop down with a heavy thump.

“You’re not as twitchy as you were,” says Nathaniel. “You used to jump a mile whenever I spoke to you.”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Uh-huh, you did.” He nods. “Like a rabbit.”

“I thought I was a badger.”

“You’re a rabbit—badger cross. Very rare breed.” He grins at me. For a while neither of us speaks. I watch a tiny plane high above, leaving a white trail in the sky.

“Mum says you’ve changed too. She said she reckons whoever you’ve run away from… whatever happened… they’re losing their grip on you.”

The question is there in his voice, but I don’t respond. I’m thinking of Iris yesterday. Letting me take all my frustrations out on her. It’s not like she’s had it easy herself.

“Your mum’s amazing,” I say at last. I put the bottle down and roll onto the grass, staring up at the blue sky. I can smell the earth beneath my head and feel grass stems against my ears and hear a grasshopper chirruping nearby.

I have changed. I can feel it in myself. I feel… stiller.

“Who would you be?” I say, twisting a grass stem round my finger. “If you could just run away. Become a different person.”

“I’d be me,” he says at last. “I’m happy as I am. I like living where I live. I like doing what I do.”

I roll over onto my front and look up at him, squinting in the sunlight. “There must be something else you’d like to do. Some dream you’ve got.”

He shakes his head, smiling. “I’m doing what I want to do.”

“But what about the nursery you were going to set up?”

I see the surprise on his face. “How did you—”

“Trish told me about it this morning. She said you had business plans and everything. What happened?”

For a moment he’s silent, his eyes averted from mine. I can’t tell what’s going on inside.

“It was just an idea,” he says finally.

“You gave it up for your mum. To run the pubs.”

“Maybe.” He reaches for a low-growing branch and starts stripping it of leaves. “Everything changed.”

“But do you really want to run the pubs?” I edge forward on the grass, trying to intercept his gaze. “You said it yourself, you’re not a landlord. You’re a gardener.”

“It’s not a question of want!‘ Nathaniel’s voice has a sudden edge of frustration. ”It’s a family business. Someone has to run it.“

“Why you?” I persist. “Why not your brother?”

“He’s… different. He does his own thing.”

“You could do your own thing!”

“I have responsibilities.” His frown grows heavier. “My mum—”

“She’d want you to do whatever you want to do,” I insist. “I know she would. She’d want you to be happy in your life, not give it up for her.”

“I am happy. It’s ridiculous to say—”

“But couldn’t you be happier?”

There’s silence in the garden. Nathaniel’s shoulders are bent round as if he wants to shut out what I’m saying.

“Don’t you ever want to ditch your responsibilities?” I throw my arms out wide in sudden abandon. “Just… walk out into the world and see what happens?”

“Is that what you did?” he demands, wheeling round.

“I—We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.”

“Samantha___” He rubs his cheek. “I know you don’t want to talk about the past. But I want you to tell me one thing. And be truthful.”

I feel a deep tremor of alarm. What’s he going to ask me?

“I’ll… try. What is it?”

Nathaniel looks me directly in the eye and takes a deep breath.

“Do you have kids?”

I’m so dumbfounded, I can’t speak for a moment. He thinks I have kids? A gurgle of relieved laughter rises through me before I can stop it.

“No, I don’t have kids! What, you think I’ve left five starving little mouths behind?”

“I don’t know.” He frowns, looking sheepish but defensive. “Why not?”

“Because… I mean… do I look like I’ve had five kids?” I can’t help a note of indignation, and he starts to laugh too.

“Maybe not five…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I’m about to hit him with his shirt when a voice pierces the air.

“Samantha?”

It’s Trish. Coming from the house. They’re home?

“Samantha?” her voice trills again. “Are you outside?”

Oh, fuck. I’m naked except for a skirt and a bra, and covered in dust and raspberry stains. Nathaniel is much the same, except in jeans.

“Quick! My clothes!” I hiss, scrabbling to my feet.

“Where are they?” says Nathaniel, looking around.

“I don’t know!” I’m trying to control my laughter. “We’re going to get the sack.”

“Samantha?” I can hear the clunk of the conservatory doors being opened.

“Shit!” I squeak. “She’s coming!”

“It’s fine,” says Nathaniel, retrieving his T-shirt from the raspberry cage. He pops it over his head and at once looks pretty together. “I’ll create a diversion. You sneak up the side, behind the shrubs, go in the kitchen door, run upstairs, and get changed. OK?”