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The Kempton-Wace Letters

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THE KEMPTON-WACE LETTERS
ridiculous and an offence to high heaven. Believe me, it is arti­fi cial. The true judge cares not for the fact of the deed, but for its motive. And the lover knows the motive. He has the key to the life. He knows his beloved, not as she is, but “as she was born to be.” His lips press and his arms enfold not her so much as the ideal of her, and unless she unmake herself, he can­not unlove her. “To judge a man by the fruit of his actions,” says Professor Edward Howard Griggs, “it is necessary to know all of the fruit, which is impossible. You can only know what he eternally must be if you catch the aspect of his soul and grow to understand his aspirations and his loves.” To idealise, therefore, is not to be blind, but to be far-seeing.
There is another way of looking on this question of the par­adox. Granted that it is caused by romantic love, romantic love is still exclusively the best thing in the world. You cannot pay too dearly for the good of life. I know that the misery of be­ing in the intimacy of wedlock with one who is not loved is un­utterable. It is to become degraded and unrecognisable, it is to wear the brand of liar before God! The man whose outer life belies the inner is an enforced suicide. There is something of majesty on “laying one’s self down with a will,” and there is something of strength in cloistering the body for the spirit’s health’s sake, but to die when all within is warm and clamorous for life is terrible. Such a death they die who are held together, not by the bonds of the spirit, but by those of convention. They who would go from each other and dare not, die the ignomini­ous death of fear. The suicide is contemptible, besides being pitiable, when he is hounded out of life despite himself, when he is a little embezzler of a clerk who rushes from the music
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hall to the Thames and thinks of the unfi nished glass with his last breath. No, I do not underestimate the tragedy of the para­dox. Yet I say that if love were accountable for it (which it is not), it would still be folly to forswear love. Do you ask why? Because its dangers are the dangers common to all life, and we are so made that we cannot be frightened away from our portion of experience. We are as loth to give up our nights as our days. The winters as the summers, all the seasons and all the climes, the fears as the hopes, all the travail of deepest, full­est living, we claim as our own forever. We guard jealously our heritage of feeling. Would you for all the world sleep rather than wake, forget rather than remember? Then cease the re­quiem of your speech about the dangers of disillusion!
Madness and selfi shness were the cause of Louisa Nav­eret’s death, and the man who was mad and selfi sh was her lover. The poor man had not the strength to renounce when he thought he found himself face to face with the necessity of renouncing. But all lovers are not too weak to cope with love. John Ruskin, if you remember, loved his wife, and he shot nei­ther himself, nor her, nor Millais. Charles J. Johnson is not a Ruskin, and Ruskin’s love was not a madness.
And, Herbert, to me there is nothing comic in a stress of feeling. Let the lover pale and fl utter and faint; in the pres­ence of his deity it is an acceptable form of worship. The very self-possessed lover is more preposterous!
Your book has not yet reached me. To-morrow I shall write again, providing I remember how to write a natural letter.
Yours,
Dane Kempton.
CHAPTER XXIII
FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME
London.
June 20, 19–.
There are impersonal hours when the things of the day drop below consciousness and the spirit grows devotional and wends a pilgrimage to larger spheres, there to sit apart. Such a respite was mine to-day. There had been a call to rouse and put forth work, and I wrought with all the puniness of my might (woe is me!), and earned my post at the window that looks out upon the large things. The best of nights and days of toil is that there comes a twilight in which fatigued eyes see clear. I said it did not matter how you do about your marriage. Time may right you in a way I cannot know. I said it did not matter if you are not righted in this, there being so much that never rights itself. Both hope and despair were followed by a calm of neutrality. The inquiry waited no solution. The stress no longer touched me, and my twilight became luminous. I saw things as from a height and forms dropped out of my range, when Barbara came tugging at me, and my pale while of abstraction was at an end.
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She wanted to know what troubled me. She made her way to me, hurried but resolved, and stated her demand. “You catechised me yesterday; to-night you shall answer.”
She had come to defend herself. My talk having of late taken on the sameness of that of the man of one idea, Barbara was aroused. I was gauging her because she distressed me, was her thought. (I had been trying to fi nd whether it is possible to live differently from her and live happily and well.) “You think I am not close enough to Earl, because I mourn for my little one, perhaps. You think me not suffi ciently happy to be wifely.” Could I suppose aught else from such an utterance but that there was an estrangement and hidden pain? How, unless there were sorrow, could the woman see herself sorrowed for? My mind leapt to possibilities. Little Barbara on the rack was more than I could bear. I groped for her hands. It was a fault in her to be so much on her guard. She had no sorrow to confess, and spoke – only to ward off what was not directed toward her.
“The tenour of your talk led me on to believe – ” she stam­mered with hot cheeks. It is a standing offence of hers to imag­ine herself accused, and she admits it is a weakness born of lack of poise. “But I took all for granted, I thought you fortu­nate beyond any other woman,” I protested. At this the radi­ance broke forth. I forgave the chill that her fi rst words on entering the room struck to my heart, and she forgot what she had imagined.
There is nothing more important than the play and inter­play of feeling. Were Barbara “unwifely,” I could not blame her, but neither could I have at hand my proof of dear miracles. My proof remained to me, for there she stood, her face lifted
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toward mine, her mouth tremulous, her grey eyes swimming. The mate woman was stirred. Barbara is twenty-six and has been married seven years, and she still vibrates with the old wonder to fi nd herself loving and beloved.
I meant to tell you of what we spoke later, in the hope that I could show you a little better what I hold dear and why. But my hand grows nerveless. The twilight of abstraction has set in. A little while ago this hand was quick to rest on Barba­ra’s as I called her my heroine. She is that, not alone because she is pure and good and strong, but because she can accept the test of her instincts. It takes both faith and strength to obey oneself. “When shows break up, what but one’s Self remains?” asks Whitman. The shows are but shows for Barbara. Will I look into your eyes on the morrow and fi nd them, like hers, clear? Grant that it be!
Dane.
CHAPTER XXIV
FROM HERBERT WACE TO
DANE KEMPTON
The Ridge,
Berkeley, California.
July 1, 19–.
Somewhere in Ward you may read, “It must constantly be borne in mind that all progress consists in the arbitrary altera­tion, by human efforts and devices, of the normal course of na­ture, so that civilisation is wholly an artifi cial product.” Why, Dane, this is large enough to base a sociology upon. And I must ask you fi rst, is it true? Second, do you understand, do you ap­preciate, the tremendous signifi cance of it? And third, how can you bring your philosophy of love in accord with it?
Romantic love is certainly not natural. It is an artifi ce, blunderingly and unwittingly introduced by man into the nat­ural order. Is this audacious? Let us see. In a state of nature the love which obtains is merely the passion for perpetuation devoid of all imagination. The male possesses the prehensile organs and the superior strength. Beyond the ardour of pur­suit the female has no charms for him. But he is driven irre­sistibly to pursuit. And by virtue of his prehensile organs and
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superior strength he ravishes the females of his species and goes his way. But life creeps slowly upward, increasing in com­plexity and necessarily in intelligence. When some forgotten inventor of the older world smote his rival or enemy with a branch of wood and found that it was good and thereafter made a practice of smiting rivals and enemies with branch­es of wood, then, and on that day, artifi ciality may be said to have begun. Then, and on that day, was begun a revolution destined to change the history of life. Then, and on that day, was laid the cornerstone of that most tremendous of artifi ces, CIVILISATION!
Trace it up. Our ape-like and arboreal ancestors entered upon the fi rst of many short cuts. To crack a marrow-bone with a rock was the act which fathered the tool, and between the cracking of a marrow-bone and the riding down town in an automobile lies only a difference of degree. The one is crudely artifi cial, the other consummately artifi cial. That is all. There have been improvements. The fi rst inventors grasped that truthful paradox, “the longest way round is the shortest way home,” and forsook the direct pursuit of happiness for the indirect pursuit of happiness. If the hap­piness of a savage depended upon his crossing an exten­sive body of water, he did not directly proceed to swim it, but turned his back upon it, selected a tree from the forest, shaped it with his rude tools and hollowed it out with fi re, then launched it in the water and paddled toward where his happiness lay.
Now concerning love. In the state of nature it is a brutal passion, nothing more. There is no romance attached. But life
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creeps upward, and the gregarious human forms social groups the like of which never existed before. Consider the family group, for instance. Such a group becomes in itself an entity. By means of the group man is better enabled to pursue happi­ness. But to maintain the group it must be regulated; so man formulates rules, codes, dim ethical laws for the conduct of the group members. Sexual ties are made less promiscuous and more orderly. A greater privacy is observed. And out of order and privacy spring respect and sacredness.
But life creeps upward, and the family group itself be­comes but a unit of greater and greater groups. And rules and codes change in accordance, until the marriage tie becomes possessed of a history and takes to itself traditions. This his­tory and these traditions form a great fund, to which chang­ing conditions and growing imagination constantly add. And the traditions, more especially, bear heavily upon the indi­vidual, overmastering his natural expression of the love in­stinct and forcing him to an artifi cial expression of that love instinct. He loves, not as his savage forebears loved, but as his group loves. And the love method of his group is deter­mined by its love traditions. Does the individual compare his beloved’s eyes to the stars – it is a trick of old time which has come down to him. Does he serenade under her window or compose an ode to her beauty or virtue – his father did it before him. In his lover’s voice throb the voices of myriads of lovers all dead and dust. The singers of a thousand songs are the ghostly chorus to the song of love he sings. His ideas, his very feelings are not his, but the ideas and feelings of count­less lovers who lived and loved and whose lives and loves are
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remembered. Their mistaken facts and foolish precepts are his, and likewise their imaginative absurdities and sentimen­tal philanderings. Without an erotic literature, a history of great loves and lovers, a garland of love songs and ballads, a sheaf of spoken love tales and adventures – without all this, which is the property of his group, he could not possibly love in the way he does.
To illustrate: Isolate a boy babe and a girl babe of cul­tured breed upon a desert isle. Let them feed and grow strong on shell-fish and fruit; but let them see none oth­er of their species; hear no speech of mouth, nor acquire knowledge in any way of their kind and the things their kind has done. Well, and what then? They will grow to man and woman and mate as the beasts mate, without ro­mance and without imagination. Does the woman oppose her will to that of the man – he will beat her. Does he become over-violent in the manifestation of his regard, she will flee away, if she can, to secret hiding-places. He will not compare her eyes to the stars; nor will she dream that he is Apollo; nor will the pair moon in the twilight over the love of Hero and Leander. And the many monogamic generations out of which he has descended would fail to prevent polygamy did another woman chance to strand on that particular isle.
It is the common practice of the man of the London slum to kick his wife to death when she has offended him. And the man of the London slum is a very natural beast who expresses himself in a very natural manner. He has never heard of Hero and Leander, and the comparison of the mis-
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sus’ eyes to the stars would to him be arrant bosh. The gentle, tender, considerate male is an artifi cial product. And so is the romantic lover, who is fashioned by the love traditions which come down to him and by the erotic literature to which he has access.
And now to the point. Romantic love being an artifi cial product, you cannot base its retention upon the claim that it is natural. Your only claim can be that it is the best possible artifi ce for the perpetuation of life, or that it is the only perfect, all-suffi cient, and all-satisfying artifi ce that man can devise. On the one hand, for the perpetuation of life, man demon­strates the ineffi ciency of romantic love by his achievements in the domestic selection of animals. And on the other hand, the very irrationality of romantic love will tend to its gradual elimination as the human grows wiser and wiser. Also, because it is such a crude artifi ce, it forces far too many to contract the permanent marriage tie without possessing compatibility. During the time romantic love runs its course in an individu­al, that individual is in a diseased, abnormal, irrational condi­tion. Mental or spiritual health, which is rationality, makes for progress, and the future demands greater and greater mental or spiritual health, greater and greater rationality. The brain must dominate and direct both the individual and society in the time to come, not the belly and the heart. Granted that the function romantic love has served has been necessary; that is no reason to conclude that it must always be necessary, that it is eternally necessary. There is such a thing as rudimentary organs which served functions long since fallen in disuse and now unremembered.
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