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THE WAYS OF THE HOUR
quite twenty thousand a year. Certain officious friends made a
match for her, I have heard, with a Frenchman of some family,
but small means; and the recent revolution has driven them to
this country, where, as I have been told, she took the reins of
domestic government into her own hands, until some sort of a
separation has been the consequence.”
“Why, this account is surprisingly like the report we have
had concerning Mary Monson, this morning!” cried Jack,
springing to his feet with excitement.
“I believe her to be the same person. Many things unite to
create this opinion. In the first place, there is certainly a marked
family resemblance to her grandmother and mother; then the
education, manners, languages, money, Marie Moulin, and the
initials of the assumed name, each and all have their solution
in this belief. The
`Mademoiselle’ and the `Madame’ of the Swiss maid are
explained; in short, if we can believe this Mary Monson to be
Madame de Larocheforte, we can find an explanation of everything that is puzzling in her antecedents.”
“But, why should a woman of twenty thousand a year be
living in the cottage of Peter Goodwin?”
“Because she is a woman of twenty thousand a year. Mons.
de Larocheforte found her money was altogether at her own
command, by this new law, and, naturally enough, he desired
to play something more than a puppet’s part in his own abode
and family. The lady clings to her dollars, which she loves more
than her husband; a quarrel ensues, and she chooses to retire
from his protection, and conceal herself, for a time, under Peter Goodwin’s roof, to evade pursuit. Capricious and wrong –
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JAMES FENIMORE COOPER
headed women do a thousand strange things, and thoughtless
gabblers often sustain them in what they do.”
“This is rendering the marriage tie very slight!”
“It is treating it with contempt; setting at naught the laws
of God and man one’s duties, and the highest obligations of
woman. Still, many of the sex fancy if they abstain from one
great and distinct offence, the whole catalogue of the remaining misdeeds is at their merey.”
“Not to the extent of murder and arson, surely! Why should
such a woman commit these crimes?”
“One never knows. We are fearfully constituted, John; morally and physically. The fairest form often conceals the blackest heart, and vice versa. But I am now satisfied that there is
a vein of insanity in this branch of the Millingtons; and it is
possible Madame de Larocheforte is more to be pitied than to
be censured.”
“You surely do not think her guilty, uncle Tom?”
The counsellor looked intently at his nephew, shaded his
brow a moment, gazed upward, and answered
“I do. There is such a chain of proof against her as will
scarce admit of explanation. I am afraid, Jack I am afraid that
she has done these deeds, terrible as they are! Such has been
my opinion, now, for some time; though my mind has vacillated, as I make no doubt will prove to be the case with those
of most of the jurors. It is a sad alternative; but I see no safety
for her except in the plea of insanity. I am in hopes that something may be made out in that respect.”
“We are quite without witnesses to the point; are we not,
sir?”
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THE WAYS OF THE HOUR
“Certainly; but Michael Millington has gone to town to
send by telegraph for the nearest connections of Madame de
Larocheforte, who are in the neighbourhood of Philadelphia.
The husband himself is somewhere on the Hudson. He must
be hunted up too. Michael will see to all this. I shall get the
judge to adjourn early this evening; and we must spin out the
trial for the next day or two, in order to collect our forces. The
judge is young and indulgent. He has certain ridiculous notions about saving the time of the public; but does not feel
secure enough in his seat to be very positive.”
At this instant Timms burst into the room, in a high state
of excitement, exclaiming, the moment he was sure that his
words would not reach any hostile ears
“Our case is desperate! All the Burtons are coming out dead
against us; and neither `the new philanthropy,’ nor
`Friends,’ nor `anti – gallows,’ can save us. I never knew excitement get up so fast. It’s the infernal aristocracy that kills us!
Williams makes great use of it; and our people will not stand
aristocracy. See what a magnanimous report to the legislature
the learned Attorney – General has just made on the subject
of aristocracy. How admirably he touches up the kings and
countesses!”
“Pshaw!” exclaimed Dunscomb, with a contemptuous curl
of the lip “not one in a thousand knows the meaning of the
word; and he among the rest. The report you mention is that of
a refined gentleman, to be sure, and is addressed to his equals.
What exclusive political privilege does Mary Monson possess?
or what does the patroon, unless it be the privilege of having
more stolen from him, by political frauds, than any other man
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JAMES FENIMORE COOPER
in the State? This cant about social aristocracy, even in a state
of society in which the servant deserts his master with impunity, in the midst of a dinner, is very miserable stuff! Aristocracy,
forsooth! If there be aristocracy in America, the blackguard is
the aristocrat. Away, then, with all this trash, and speak common sense in future.”
“You amaze me, sir! Why, I regard you as a sort of aristocrat,
Mr. Dunscomb.” “Me! And what do you see aristocratic about
me, pray?”
“Why, sir, you don’t look like the rest of us. Your very walk
is different your language, manners, dress, habits and opinions, all differ from those of the Duke’s county bar. Now, to my
notion, that is being exclusive and peculiar; and whatever is
peculiar is aristocratic, is it not?”
Here Dunscomb and his nephew burst out in a laugh; and,
for a few minutes, Mary Monson was forgotten. Timms was
quite in earnest; for he had fallen into the every – day notions,
in this respect, and it was not easy to get him out of them.
“Perhaps the Duke’s county bar contains the aristocrats,
and I am the cerf!” said the counsellor.
“That cannot beyou must be the aristocrat, if any there be
among us. I don’t know why it is so, but so it is; yes, you are the
aristocrat, if there be one at our bar.”
Jack smiled, and looked funny; but he had the discretion to
hold his tongue. He had heard that a Duke of Norfolk, the top
of the English aristocracy, was so remarkable for his personal habits as actually to be offensive; a man who, according to
Timms’s notions, would have been a long way down the social
ladder; but who, nevertheless, was a top – peer, if not a top –
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THE WAYS OF THE HOUR
sawyer. It was easy to see that Timms confounded a gentleman
with an aristocrat; a confusion in ideas that is very common,
and which is far from being unnatural, when it is remembered
how few formerly acquired any of the graces of deportment
who had not previously attained positive, exclusive, political
rights. As for the Attorney – General and his report, Jack had
sufficient sagacity to see it was a document that said one thing
and meant another; professing deference for a people that it
did not stop to compliment with the possession of either common honesty or good manners.
“I hope my aristocracy is not likely to affect the interests of
my client.”
“No; there is little danger of that. It is the democracy of the
Burtons which will do that. I learn from Johnson that they are
coming out stronger and stronger; and I feel certain Williams
is sure of their testimony. By the way, sir, I had a hint from him,
as we left the court – house, that the five thousand dollars
might yet take him from the field.”
“This Mr. Williams, as well as yourself, Timms, must be
more cautious, or the law will yet assert its power. It is very
much humbled, I am aware, under the majesty of the people
and a feeble administration of its authority; but its arm is long,
and its gripe potent, when it chooses to exert its force. Take my
advice, and have no more to do with such arrangements.”
The dinner – bell put an end to the discussion Timms
vanished like a ghost; but Dunscomb, whose habits were gentlemanlike, and who knew that Mrs. Horton had assigned a
particular seat to him, moved more deliberately; following his
nephew about the time Timms was half through the meal.
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JAMES FENIMORE COOPER
An American tavern – dinner, during the sitting of the circuit, is every way worthy of a minute and graphic description;
but our limits will hardly admit of our assuming the task. If
“misery makes a man acquainted with strange bed – fellows,”
so does the law. Judges, advocates, witnesses, sheriffs, clerks,
constables, and not unfrequently the accused, dine in common, with rail – road speed. The rattling of knives, forks, and
spoons, the clatter of plates, the rushing of waiters, landlord,
landlady, chamber – maids, ostler and bar – keeper included,
produce a confusion that would do honour to the most profound “republican simplicity.” Everything approaches a state
of nature but the eatables; and they are invariably overdone.
On an evil day, some Yankee invented an article termed a
“cooking – stove;” and since its appearance everything like
good cookery has vanished from the common American table.
There is plenty spoiled; abundance abused. Of made dishes,
with the exception of two or three of very simple characters,
there never were any; and these have been burned to cinders
by the baking processes of the “cook – stoves.”
It matters little, however, to the convives of a circuit –
court dinner, what the dishes are called, or of what they are
composed. “Haste” forbids “taste;” and it actually occurred
that day, as it occurs almost invariably on such occasions, that
a very clever country practitioner was asked the materiel of
the dish he had been eating, and he could not tell it! Talk of
the mysteries of French cookery! The “cook – stove” produces
more mystery than all the art of all the culinary artists of Paris;
and this, too, on a principle that tallies admirably with that of
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THE WAYS OF THE HOUR
the purest “republican simplicity;” since it causes all things to
taste alike.
To a dinner of this stamp Dunscomb now sat down, just ten
minutes after the first clatter of a plate was heard, and just as
the only remove was seen, in the form of slices of pie, pudding
and cake. With his habits, railroad speed or lightning – line
eating could find no favour; and he and Jack got their dinner,
as best they might, amid the confusion and remnants of the
close of such a repast. Nine – tenths of those who had so lately
been at work as trencher – men were now picking their teeth,
smoking segars, or preparing fresh quids for the afternoon. A
few clients were already holding their lawyers by the button;
and here and there one of the latter led the way to his room
to “settle” some slander cause in which the plaintiff had got
frightened.
It is a bad sign when eating is carried on without conversation. To converse, however, at such a table, is morally if not
physically impossible. Morally, because each man’s mind is so
intent on getting as much as he wants, that it is almost impossible to bring his thoughts to bear on any other subject;
physically, on account of the clatter, a movement in which an
eclipse of a plate by the body of a waiter is no unusual thing,
and universal activity of the teeth. Conversation under such
circumstances would be truly a sort of ventriloquism; the portion of the human frame included in the term being all in all
just at that moment.
Notwithstanding these embarrassments and unpleasant
accompaniments, Dunscomb and his nephew got their dinners, and were about to quit the table as McBrain entered.
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JAMES FENIMORE COOPER
The doctor would not expose his bride to the confusion of
the common table, where there was so much that is revolting to all trained in the usages of good company, singularly
blended with a decency of deportment, and a consideration for
the rights of each, that serve to form bright spots in American
character; but he had obtained a more private room for the
females of his party.
“We should do pretty well,” observed McBrain, in explaining his accommodations, “were it not for a troublesome neighbour in an adjoining room, who is either insane or intoxicated.
Mrs. Horton has put us in your wing, and I should think you
must occasionally hear from him too?”
“The man is constantly drunk, they tell me, and is a little
troublesome at times. On the whole, however, he does not annoy me much. I shall take the liberty of dining with you to –
morrow, Ned; this eating against time does not agree with my
constitution.”
“To – morrow! I was thinking that my examination would
be ended this afternoon, and that we might return to town in
the morning. You will remember I have patients to attend to.”
“You will have more reason for patience. If you get through
in a week, you will be lucky.”
“It is a curious case! I find all the local faculty ready to swear
through thick and thin against her. My own opinion is fixedbut what is the opinion of one man against those of several in
the same profession?” “We will put that question to Mrs. Horton, who is coming to ask how we have dined Thank’ee, my
good Mrs. Horton, we have done remarkably well, considering
all the circumstances.”
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THE WAYS OF THE HOUR
The landlady was pleased, and smirked, and expressed her
gratification. The sous entendu of Dunscomb was lost upon
her; and human vanity is very apt to accept the flattering, and
to overlook the disagreeable. She was pleased that the great
York lawyer was satisfied.
Mrs. Horton was an American landlady, in the strictest
sense of the word. This implies many features distinct from
her European counterpart; some of which tell greatly in her
favour, and others not so much so. Decency of exterior, and
a feminine deportment, are so characteristic of the sex in this
country, that they need scarcely be adverted to. There were
no sly jokes, no doubles entendres with Mrs. Horton; who
maintained too grave a countenance to admit of such liberties. Then, she was entirely free from the little expedients of
a desire to gain that are naturally enough adopted in older
communities, where the pressure of numbers drives the poor
to their wits’ – end, in order to live. American abundance had
generated American liberality in Mrs. Horton; and if one of
her guests asked for bread, she would give him the loaf. She
was, moreover, what the country round termed “accommodating;” meaning that she was obliging and good – natured. Her
faults were a fierce love of gossip, concealed under a veil of
great indifference and modesty, a prying curiosity, and a determination to know everything, touching everybody, who ever
came under her roof. This last propensity had got her into difficulties, several injurious reports having been traced to her
tongue, which was indebted to her imagination for fully one –
half of what she had circulated. It is scarcely necessary to add,
that, among the right set, Mrs. Horton was a great talker. As
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JAMES FENIMORE COOPER
Dunscomb was a favourite, he was not likely to escape on the
present occasion; the room being clear of all the guests but
those of his own party.
“I am glad to get a little quiet talk with you, `Squire Dunscomb,” the landlady commenced; “for a body can depend on
what is heard from such authority. Do they mean to hang Mary
Monson?”
“It is rather premature to ask that question, Mrs. Horton.
The jury is empannelled, and there we stand at present.” “Is
it a good jury? Some of our Duke’s county juries are none too
good, they tell me.”
“The whole institution is a miserable contrivance for the
administration of justice. Could a higher class of citizens compose the juries, the system might still do, with a few improvements.”
“Why not elect them?” demanded the landlady, who was,
ex officio, a politician, much as women are usually politicians
in this country. In other words, she felt her opinions, without
knowing their reasons.
“God forbid, my good Mrs. Hortonwe have elective judges;
that will do for the present. Too much of a good thing is as
injurious as the positively bad. I prefer the present mode of
drawing lots.”
“Have you got a Quaker in the box? If you have, you are
safe enough.”
“I doubt if the District Attorney would suffer that; although
he appears to be kind and considerate. The man who goes into
that box must be prepared to hang if necessary.”
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