Joan Haste
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JOAN HASTE
sister, or anybody else, as to who should or should not read me poems. However, as you seem to be upset, quite unnecessarily I assure you, let us give it up for this morning and compromise on the Times».
Meanwhile Ellen was pursuing her course along the beach road towards Monk’s Lodge, where she arrived within half an hour.
Monk’s Lodge, a quaint red-brick house of the Tudor period, was surrounded on three sides by plantations of Scotch firs. To the east, however, stretching to the top of the sea cliff, was a strip of turf, not more than a hundred yards wide, so that all the front windows of the house commanded an uninterrupted view of the ocean. Behind the building lay the gardens, which were old-fashioned and beautiful, and sheltered by the encircling belts of firs; but in front were neither trees nor flowers, for the fierce easterly gales, and the salt spray which drifted thither in times of storm, would not allow of their growth.
Descending from the dogcart, Ellen was shown through the house into the garden, where she found Emma seated reading, or pretending to read, under the shade of a cedar; for the day was hot and still.
«How good of you to come, Ellen!» she said, springing up – «and so early too».
«I can’t take credit for any particular virtue in that respect, my dear», Ellen answered, kissing her affectionately; «it is pleasant to escape to this delightful place and be quiet for a few hours, and I have been looking forward to it for a week.
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What between sickness and other things, my life at home is one long worry just now».
«It ought not to be, when you are engaged to be married», said Emma interrogatively.
«Even engagements have their drawbacks, as no doubt you will discover one day», she answered, with a little shrug of her shoulders. «Edward is the best and dearest of men, but he can be a wee bit trying at times: he is too affectionate and careful of me, if that is possible, for you know I am an independent person and do not like to have some one always running after me like a nurse with a child».
«Perhaps he will give up that when you are married», said Emma doubtfully. Somehow she could not picture her handsome and formidable friend – for at times the gentle Emma admitted to herself that she was rather formidable – as the constant object and recipient of petits soins and sweet murmured nothings.
«Possibly he will», answered Ellen decisively. «By the way, I just called in to see Henry, whom I found in a state of great delight with the note and roses which you sent him. He asked me to give you his kindest regards, and to say that he was much troubled by your thought of him».
«They were lilies, not roses», answered Emma, looking down.
«I meant lilies – did I say roses?» said Ellen innocently. «And, talking of lilies, you look a little pale, dear».
«I am always pale, Ellen; and, like you, I have been a good deal worried lately».
«Worried! Who can worry you in this Garden of Eden?»
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«Nobody. It is – my own thoughts. I dare say that even Eve felt worried in her garden after she had eaten that apple, you know».
Ellen shook her head. «I am not clever, like you», she said, smiling, «and I don’t understand parables. If you want my advice you must come down to my level and speak plainly».
Emma turned, and walked slowly from the shadow of the cedar tree into the golden flood of sunlight. Very slowly she passed down the gravel path, that was bordered by blooming roses, pausing now and again as though to admire some particular flower.
«She looks more like a white butterfly than a woman, in that dress of hers», thought Ellen, who was watching her curiously; «and really it would not seem wonderful if she floated away and vanished. It is hot out there, and I think that I had better not follow her. She has something to say, and will come back presently».
She was right. After a somewhat prolonged halt at the end of the path, Emma turned and walked, or rather flitted, straight back to the cedar tree.
«I will speak plainly», she said, «though I could not make up my mind to do so at first. I am ashamed of myself, Ellen – so bitterly ashamed that sometimes I feel as though I should like to run away and never be seen again».
«And why, my dear?» asked Ellen, lifting her eyes. «What dreadful crime have you committed, that you should suffer such remorse?»
«No crime, but a folly, which they say is worse – an unpardonable folly. You know what I mean – those words that I said
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when your brother was supposed to be dying. You must have heard them».
«Yes, I heard them; and now that he is not dying, they please me more than any words that I ever listened to from your lips. It is my dearest wish that things should come about between Henry and you as I am sure that they will come about, now that I know your mind towards him».
«If they please you, the memory of them tortures me», Emma answered, passionately clenching her slim white hands. «Oh! how could I be so shameless as to declare my – my love for a man who has never spoken a single affectionate word to me, who probably looks on me with utter indifference, or, for aught I know, with dislike! And the worst of it is I cannot excuse myself: I cannot say that they were nonsense uttered in a moment of fear and excitement, for it was the truth, the dreadful truth, that broke from me, and which I had no power to withhold. I do love him; I have loved him from the day when I first saw him, nearly two years ago, as I shall always love him; and that is why I am disgraced».
«Really, Emma, I cannot see what there is shocking in a girl becoming fond of a man. You are not the first person to whom such a thing has happened».
«No, there is nothing shocking in the love itself. So long as I kept it secret it was good and holy, a light by which I could guide my life; but now that I have blurted it, it is dishonoured, and I am dishonoured with it. That I was myself half dead with the agony of suspense is no excuse; I say that I am dishonoured».
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To the listening Emma all these sentiments, natural as they might be to a girl of Emma’s exalted temperament and spotless purity of mind, were as speeches made in the Hebrew tongue – indeed, within herself she did not hesitate to characterise her friend as «a high-flown little idiot». But, as she could not quite see what would be the best line to take in answering her, she satisfied herself with shaking her head as though in dissent, and looking sympathetic.
«What torments me most», went on Emma, who by now was thoroughly worked up – «I can say it to you, for you are a woman and will understand – is the thought that those shameless words might possibly come to your brother’s ears. Three people heard them – Lady Graves, yourself and my father. Of course I know that neither you nor your mother would betray me, for, as I say, you are women and will feel for me; but, oh! I cannot be sure of my father. I know what he desires; and if he thought that he could advance his object, I am not certain that I could trust him – no, although he has promised to be silent: though, indeed, to tell your brother would be the surest way to defeat himself; for, did he learn the truth, such a man would despise me for ever».
«My dear girl», said Ellen boldly, for she felt that the situation required courage, «do calm yourself. Of course no one would dream of betraying to Henry what you insist upon calling an indiscretion, but what I thought a very beautiful avowal made under touching circumstances». Then she paused, and added reflectively, «I only see one danger».
«What danger?» asked Emma.
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«Well, it has to do with that girl – Joan somebody – who brought about all this trouble, and who is nursing Henry, very much against my wish. I happen to have found out that she was listening at the door when Dr. Childs came into the room that night, just before you fainted, and it is impossible to say how long she had been there, and equally impossible to answer for her discretion».
«Joan Haste – that lovely woman! Of course she heard, and of course she will tell him. I was afraid of her the moment that I saw her, and now I begin to see why, though I believe that this is only the beginning of the evils which she will bring upon me. I am sure of it: I feel it in my heart».
«I think that you are alarming yourself quite unnecessarily, Emma. It is possible that this girl may repeat anything that she chances to overhear, and it is probable that she will do her best to strike up a flirtation with Henry, if he is foolish enough to allow it; for persons of this kind always avail themselves of such an opportunity – generally with a view to future compensation. But Henry is a cautious individual, who has never been known to commit himself in that fashion, and I don’t see why he should begin now; though I do think it would be a good thing if that young lady could be sent about her business. At the worst, however, there would only be some temporary entanglement, such as happens every day, and means nothing serious».
«Nothing serious? I am sure it would be serious enough if that girl had to do with it: she is not a flirt – she looks too strong and earnest for that kind of thing; and if once she made him fond of her, she would never let him go».
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«Perhaps», answered Ellen; «but first of all she has to make him fond of her, and I have reasons for knowing, even if she wishes to do this, that she will find it a little difficult».
«What reasons?» asked Emma.
«Only that a man like Henry does not generally fall in love with two women at the same time», Ellen answered drily.
«Is he – is he already in love, then?»
«Yes, dear; unless I am very much mistaken, he is already in love – with you».
«I doubt it», Emma answered, shaking her head. «But even if it should be so, there will be an end of it if he hears of my behaviour on that night. And he is sure to hear: I know that he will hear».
And, as though overcome by the bitterness of her position, Emma put her hands before her eyes, then turned suddenly and walked into the house.
CHAPTER XII
ELLEN FINDS A REMEDY
When Emma had gone Ellen settled herself comfortably in a garden chair, sighed, and began to fan her face with a newspaper which lay at hand. Her mind was agitated, for it had become obvious to her that the position was full of complications, which at present her well-meant efforts had increased rather than diminished.
«I only hope that I may be forgiven for all the white lies I have been forced to tell this morning», she reflected. Ellen did not consider her various embellishments of the truth as deserving of any harsher name, since it seemed to her not too sensitive conscience, that if Jove laughs at lovers’ perjuries, he must dismiss with a casual smile the prevarications of those who wish to help other people to become lovers.
Still Ellen felt aggrieved, foreseeing the possibility of being found out and placed in awkward positions. Oh, what fools they were, and how angry she was with both of them – with Emma for her schoolgirlish sentiment, and with Henry for his idiotic pride and his headstrong obstinacy! Surely the man must be mad to wish to fling away such a girl as Emma and her fortune, to say nothing of the romantic devotion that she cher-
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ished for him, little as he deserved it – a devotion which Ellen imagined would have been flattering to the self-conceit of any male. It was hard on her that she should be obliged to struggle against such rank and wrong-headed stupidity, and even driven to condescend to plots and falsehoods. After all, it was not for her own benefit that she did this, or only remotely so, since she was well provided for; though it was true that, should she become involved in an immediate financial scandal, her matrimonial prospects might be affected.
No, it was for the benefit of her family, the interests of which, to do her justice, Ellen had more at heart than any other earthly thing, her own welfare of course expected. Should this marriage fall through, ruin must overtake their house, and their name would be lost, in all probability never to be heard again. It seemed impossible to her that her brother should wish to reject the salvation which was so freely proffered to him; and yet, maddening as the thought might be, she could not deny that she saw signs of such a desire. Well, she would not give up the game; tired as she was of it, she would fight to the last ditch. Were she to draw back now, she felt that she should fail in her most sacred duty.
As Ellen came to this determination she saw Mr. Levinger walking towards her. He was leaning on his stick, as usual, and looked particularly refined in his summer suit and grey wideawake hat.
«How do you do, Miss Graves?» he said, in his gentle voice: «I heard that you were here, but did not come out because I thought you might wish to have a chat with Emma. Where has she gone?»
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«I don’t know», Ellen answered, as they shook hands. «Well, I dare say that she will be back presently. How hot
it is here! Would you like to come and sit in my study till luncheon is ready?» And he led the way to a French window that opened on to the lawn.
Mr. Levinger’s study was a very comfortable room, and its walls were lined with books almost to the ceiling. Books also lay about on the desk. Evidently he had risen from reading one of them, and Ellen noticed with surprise that it was Jeremy Taylor’s «Holy Living».
«How is your brother to-day?» he asked, when they were seated.
Ellen reflected a moment, and determined to take advantage of the opportunity to unbosom herself.
«He is doing as well as possible, thank you. Still I am anxious about him».
«Why? I thought that he was clear of all complications except the chance of a limp like mine».
«I did not mean that I was anxious about his health, Mr. Levinger. I am sure that you will forgive me if I am frank with you, so I will speak out».
He bowed expectantly, and Ellen went on:
«My father has told me, and indeed I know it from what you have said to me at different times, that for various reasons you would be glad if Henry and Emma – made a match of it».
Again Mr. Levinger bowed.
«I need not say that our family would be equally glad; and that Emma herself would be glad we learned from what she said the other day. There remains therefore only one person
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