The Struggles of Brown, Jones and Robinson

THE STRUGGLES

ist may give the reins to his imagination, and plunge at once into all the luxuries of the superlative. But to this pleasure there was one drawback. The thing had been done so often that superlatives had lost their value, and it had come to pass that the strongest language sounded impotently in the palled ears of the public. What idea can, in its own nature, be more harrowing to the soul than that of a TREMENDOUS SACRIFICE? but what effect would arise now-a-days from advertising a sale under such a heading? Every little milliner about Tottenham Court Road has her “Tremendous Sacrifice!” when she desires to rid her shelves of ends of ribbons and bits of soiled flowers. No; some other language than this must be devised. A phraseology not only startling but new must be invented in preparing the final sale of the house of Brown, Jones, and Robinson.

He threw himself back in his chair, and sat for awhile silent, with his finger fixed upon his brow. The first words were everything, and what should be the first words? At last, in a moment, they came to him, and he wrote as IROORZV

58,1 58,1 58,1

At Magenta House, 81, Bishopsgate Street, on March the 5th, and three following days, the Stock in Trade of the bankrupts, Brown, Jones, and Robinson, valued at 209,657l. 15s. 3d., will

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be thrown broadcast before the public at the frightful reduction of 75 per Cent. on the cost price.

To acquire the impetus and force necessary for the realization of so vast a property, all goods are quoted for TRUE, HONEST, BONA-FIDE SALE at One-Quarter the Cost Price.

This is a Solemn Fact, and one which well merits the earnest attention of every mother of a family in England. The goods are of the first class. And as no attempt in trade has ever hitherto been made of equal magnitude to that of the bankrupts’, it may with absolute truth be said that no such opportunity as this has ever yet been afforded to the public of supplying themselves with the richest articles of luxury at prices which are all but nominal. How will any lady hereafter forgive herself, who shall fail to profit by such an opportunity as this?

Such was the heading of his bills, and he read and re-read the words, not without a glow of pleasure. One can be in love with ruin so long as the excitement lasts. “A Solemn Fact!” he repeated to himself; “or shall I say a Glorious Fact? Glorious would do well for the public view of the matter; but as it touches the firm, Solemn, perhaps, is more appropriate. Mother of a Family! Shall I say, also, of every Father? I should like to include all; but then the fathers never come, and it would sound loaded.” Again he looked at the bill, again read it, and then proceeded to describe with great accuracy, on a fly-leaf, the dimensions of the paper to be used, the size of the different types, and the adaptation of various colours. “That will do,” said he; “I think that will do.”

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But this which he had now done, though, perhaps, the most important part of his task, was by no means the most laborious. He had before him various catalogues of the goods, and it remained for him to affix the prices, to describe the qualities, and to put down the amount of each on hand. This was no light task, and he worked hard at it into the middle of the night. But long before that time came he had thrust away from him the inefficient lists with which he had been supplied, and trusted himself wholly to his imagination. So may be seen the inspired schoolmaster who has beneath his hands the wretched verses of a dull pupil. For awhile he attempts to reduce to reason and prosody the futile efforts of the scholar, but anon he lays aside in disgust the distasteful task, and turning his eyes upwards to the Muse who has ever been faithful, he dashes off a few genial lines of warm poetry. The happy juvenile, with wondering pen, copies the work, and the parent’s heart rejoices over the prize which his child has won. So was it now with Robinson. What could he do with a poor gross of hose, numbered 7 to 10? or what with a score or two of middling kids? There were five dozen and nine left of the Katakairions. Was he to put down such numbers as those in his sacrificial catalogue? For awhile he kept these entries before him as a guide — as a guide which in some sort he might follow at a wide distance. But he found that it was impossible for him to be so guided, even at any distance, and at last he thrust the poor figures from him altogether and trampled them under his feet. “Tablecloths, seven dozen and a half, different sizes.” That was the last item he read, and as he

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pushed it away, the following were the words which his fertile pen SURGXFHG

The renowned Flemish Treble Table Damasks, of argentine brightness and snow-like purity, with designs of absolute grandeur and artistic perfection of outline. To dine eight persons, worth 1l, 8s. 6d., for 7s. 3d.; to dine twelve, worth 1l. 18s. 6d., for 10s. 11½d.; to dine sixteen, worth 3l. 19s. 6d., for 19s. 9¼d.; and so on, at the same rate, to any size which the epicurean habits of this convivial age can possibly require.

Space will not permit us here to give the bill entire, but after this fashion was it framed. And then the final note was as IROORZV

N.B. — Many tons weight of First-Class Table Damasks and Sheetings, soiled but not otherwise impaired; also of Ribbons, Gloves, Hose, Shirts, Crinolines, Paletots, Mantles, Shawls, Prints, Towels, Blankets, Quilts, and Flouncings, will be sold on the first two days at BUYERS’ OWN PRICES.

“There,” said he, as he closed down his ink-bottle at three o’clock in the morning, “that, I suppose, is my last day’s work in the house of Brown, Jones, and Robinson. I have worked, not for myself, but others, and I have worked honestly.” Then he went home, and slept as though he had no trouble on his mind.

On the following morning he again was there, and Messrs. Giles, Burrows, and Sloman attended with him. Mr. Brown, also, and Mr. Jones were present. On this occasion the meet-

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ing was held in Mr. Brown’s sitting-room, and they were all assembled in order that Robinson might read over the sale list as he had prepared it. Poor Mr. Brown sat in a corner of his old sofa, very silent. Now and again, as some long number or specially magniloquent phrase would strike his ear, he expressed his surprise by a sort of gasp; but throughout the whole morning he did not speak a word as to the business on hand. Jones for the first few minutes attempted to criticize; but the authority of Mr. Sloman and the burly aspect of Mr. Giles the paperdealer, were soon too much for his courage, and he also collapsed into silence. But the three gentlemen who were most concerned did not show all that silent acquiescence which George Robinson’s painful exertions on their behalf so richly deserved.

“Impetuous!” said Mr. Sloman. “What does ‘impetuous’ mean? I never heard tell before of an impetuous sacrifice. Tremendous is the proper word, Mr. Robinson.”

“Tremendous is not my word,” answered Robinson; “and as to the meaning of LPSHWXRXV ³

“It sounds well, I think,” said Mr. Burrows; and then they went on.

“Broadcast — broadcast!” said Mr. Giles. “That means sowing, don’t it?”

“Exactly,” said Robinson. “Have not I sown, and are not you to reap? If you will allow me I will go on.” He did go on, and by degrees got through the whole heading; but there was hardly a word which was not contested. It is all very well for a man to write, when he himself is the sole judge of what shall be written; but it is a terrible thing to have to draw up any

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document for the approval of others. One’s choicest words are torn away, one’s figures of speech are maltreated, one’s stops are misunderstood, and one’s very syntax is put to confusion; and then, at last, whole paragraphs are cashiered as unnecessary. First comes the torture and then the execution. “Come, Wilkins, you have the pen of a ready writer; prepare for us this document.” In such words is the victim addressed by his colleagues. Unhappy Wilkins! he little dreams of the misery before him, as he proudly applies himself to his work.

But it is beautiful to hear and see, when two scribes have been appointed, how at first they praise each other’s words, as did Trissotin and Vadius; how gradually each objects to this comma or to that epithet; how from moment to moment their courage will arise, — till at last every word that the other has written is foul nonsense and flat blasphemy; — till Vadius at last will defy his friend in prose and verse, in Greek and Latin.

Robinson on this occasion had no rival, but not the less were his torments very great. “Argentine brightness!” said Mr. Giles. “What’s ‘argentine?’ I don’t like ‘argentine.’ You’d better put that out, Mr. Robinson.”

“It’s the most effective word in the whole notice,” said Robinson, and then he passed on.

“Tons weight of towelling!” said Mr. Sloman. “That’s coming it a little too strong, Mr. Robinson.”

This was the end of the catalogue. “Gentlemen,” said Robinson, rising from his chair, “what little I have been able to do for you in this matter I have done willingly. There is the notice of your sale, drawn out in such language as seems suit-

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CHAPTER XXIII

FAREWELL

For the four appointed days the sale was continued, and it was wondrous to see with what animation the things went off. It seemed as though ladies were desirous of having a souvenir from Magenta House, and that goods could be sold at a higher price under the name of a sacrifice than they would fetch in the ordinary way of trade. “If only we could have done as well,” Robinson said to his partner Jones, wishing that, if possible, there might be good humour between them in these last days.

“We did do quite as well, and better,” said Jones, “only the money was thrown away in them horrid advertisements.” After that, George Robinson made no further effort to maintain friendly relations with Mr. Jones.

“George,” said Mr. Brown, “I hope they’ll allow me something. They ought; oughtn’t they? There wouldn’t have been nothing, only for my four thousand pounds.” Robinson did not take the trouble to explain to him that had he kept his four thousand pounds out of the way, the creditors would not

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now have any lost money to lament. Robinson was careful to raise no hopes by his answer; but, nevertheless, he resolved that when the sale was over, he would do his best.

On the fifth day, when the shop had been well nigh cleared of all the goods, the premises themselves were sold. Brown, Jones, and Robinson had taken them on a term of years, and the lease with all the improvements was put up to auction. When we say that the price which the property fetched exceeded the whole sum spent for external and internal decorations, including the Magenta paint and the plate-glass, we feel that the highest possible testimony is given to the taste and talent displayed by the firm.

It was immediately after this that application was made to the creditors on behalf of Mr. Brown.

“He brought four thousand pounds into the business,” said Robinson, “and now he hasn’t a penny of his own.”

“And we have none of us got a penny,” whined out Mr. Jones, who was standing by.

“Mr. Jones and I are young, and can earn our bread,” said Robinson; “but that old man must go into the workhouse, if you do not feel it possible to do something for him.”

“And so must my poor babbies,” said Jones. “As to work, I ain’t fit for it.”

But he was soon interrupted, and made to understand that he might think himself lucky if he were not made to disgorge that which he already possessed. As to Mr. Brown, the creditors with much generosity agreed that an annuity of 20s. a week should be purchased for him out of the proceeds of the sale. “I ain’t long for this world, George,” he said, when he was told;

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“and they ought to get it cheap. Put ‘em up to that, George; do now.” Twenty shillings a week was not much for all his wants; but, nevertheless, he might be more comfortable with that than he had been for many a year, if only his daughter would be kind to him. Alas, alas! was it within the nature of things that his daughters should be kind?

It was on this occasion, when the charitable intention of the creditors was communicated to Mr. Brown by Robinson, that that conversation took place to which allusion has been made in the opening chapter of these memoirs. Of course, it was necessary that each member of the firm should provide in some way for his future necessities. Mr. Jones had signified his intention of opening a small hairdresser’s shop in Gray’s Inn Lane. “I was brought up to it once,” he said, “and it don’t require much ready money.” Both Mr. Brown and Robinson knew that he was in possession of money, but it was not now worth their while to say more about this. The fox had made good his prey, and who could say where it was hidden?

“And what will you do, George?” asked Mr. Brown.

Then it was that Robinson communicated to them the fact that application had been made to him by the Editor of a first class Magazine for a written account of the doings of the firm. “I think it may be of advantage to commerce in general,” the Editor had said with his customary dignity of expression and propriety of demeanour. “I quite agree with you,” Robinson had replied, “if only the commercial world of Great Britain can be induced to read the lesson.” The Editor seemed to think that the commercial world of Great Britain did read the & 0, and an arrangement was quickly made between

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