The Sacred Fount

THE SACRED FOUNT

“Yes – absurd as It may seem. You excite me too much. You don’t know what you do to me.”

He continued to look at me; then he gave a laugh which was not the contradiction, but quite the attestation, of the effect produced on him by my grip. If I had wanted to hold him I held him. It only came to me even that I held him too much. I felt this in fact with the next thing he said. “If you’re too excited, then, to be coherent now, will you tell me to-morrow?”

I took time myself now to relight. Ridiculous as It may sound, I had my nerves to steady; which is a proof, surely, that for real excitement there are no such adventures as intellectual ones. “Oh, to-morrow I shall be off in space!”

“Certainly we shall neither of us be here. But can’t we arrange, say, to meet in town, or even to go up together in such conditions as will enable us to talk?”

I patted his arm again. “Thank you for your patience. It’s really good of you. Who knows if I shall be alive to-morrow? We are meeting. We do talk.”

But with all I had to think of I must have fallen, on this, into the deepest of silences, for the next thing I remember is his returning: “We don’t!” I repeated my gesture of reassurance, I conveyed that I should be with him again in a minute, and presently, while he gave me time, he came back to something of his own. “My wink, at all events, would have been nothing for any question between us, as I’ve just said, without yours. That’s what I call your responsibility. It was, as we put the matter, the torch of your analogy – ”

“Oh, the torch of my analogy!”

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I had so groaned It – as if for very ecstasy – that It pulled him up, and I could see his curiosity as indeed reaffected. But he went on with a coherency that somewhat admonished me: “It was your making me, as I told you this morning, think over what you had said about Brissenden and his wife: It was that –”

“That made you think over” – I took him straight up – “what you yourself had said about our troubled lady? Yes, precisely. That was the torch of my analogy. What I showed you in the one case seemed to tell you what to look for in the other. You thought It over. I accuse you of nothing worse than of having thought It over. But you see what thinking It over does for it.”

The way I said this appeared to amuse him. “I see what It does for you!”

“No, you don’t! Not at all yet. That’s just the embarrassment.”

“Just whose?” If I had thanked him for his patience he showed that he deserved it. “Just yours?”

“Well, say mine. But when you do – !” And I paused as for the rich promise of it.

“When I do see where you are, you mean?”

“The only difficulty is whether you can see. But we must try. You’ve set me whirling round, but we must go step by step. Oh, but it’s all in your germ!” – I kept that up. “If she isn’t now beastly unhappy – ”

“She’s beastly happy?” he broke in, getting firmer hold, if not of the real impression he had just been gathering under my eyes, then at least of something he had begun to make out that my argument required. “Well, that is the way I see her dif-

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ference. Her difference, I mean,” he added, in his evident wish to work with me, “her difference from her other difference! There!” He laughed as if, also, he had found himself fairly fantastic. “Isn’t that clear for you?”

“Crystalline – for me. But that’s because I know why.”

I can see again now the long look that, on this, he gave me. I made out already much of what was in it. “So then do I!”

“But how in the world – ? I know, for myself, how I know.” “So then do I,” he after a moment repeated.

“And can you tell me?”

“Certainly. But what I’ve already named to you – the torch of your analogy.”

I turned this over. “You’ve made evidently an admirable use of it. But the wonderful thing is that you seem to have done so without having all the elements.”

He on his side considered. “What do you call all the elements?”

“Oh, It would take me long to tell you!” I couldn’t help laughing at the comparative simplicity with which he asked it. “That’s the sort of thing we just now spoke of taking a day for. At any rate, such as they are, these elements,” I went on, “I believe myself practically in possession of them. But what I don’t quite see is how you can be.”

Well, he was able to tell me. “Why in the world shouldn’t your analogy have put me?” He spoke with gaiety, but with lucidity. “I’m not an idiot either.”

“I see.” But there was so much!

“Did you think I was?” he amiably asked.

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“No. I see,” I repeated. Yet I didn’t, really, fully; which he presently perceived.

“You made me think of your view of the Brissenden pair till I could think of nothing else.”

“Yes – yes,” I said. “Go on.”

“Well, as you had planted the theory in me, It began to bear fruit. I began to watch them. I continued to watch them. I did nothing but watch them.”

The sudden lowering of his voice in this confession – as if It had represented a sort of darkening of his consciousness – again amused me. “You too? How then we’ve been occupied! For I, you see, have watched – or had, until I found you just now with Mrs. Server – everyone, everything but you.”

“Oh, I’ve watched you,” said Ford Obert as if he had then perhaps after all the advantage of me. “I admIt that I made you out for myself to be back on the scent; for I thought I made you out baffled.”

To learn whether I really had been was, I saw, what he would most have liked; but I also saw that he had, as to this, a scruple about asking me. What I most saw, however, was that to tell him I should have to understand. “What scent do you allude to?”

He smiled as if I might have fancied I could fence. “Why, the pursuIt of the identification that’s none of our business – the identification of her lover.”

“Ah, it’s as to that,” I instantly replied, “you’ve judged me baffled? I’m afraid,” I almost as quickly added, “that I must admIt I have been. Luckily, at all events, It is none of our business.”

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“Yes,” said my friend, amused on his side, “nothing’s our business that we can’t find out. I saw you hadn’t found him. And what,” Obert continued, “does he matter now?”

It took but a moment to place me for seeing that my companion’s conviction on this point was a conviction decidedly to respect; and even that amount of hesitation was but the result of my wondering how he had reached it. “What, indeed?” I promptly replied. “But how did you see I had failed?”

“By seeing that I myself had. For I’ve been looking too. He isn’t here,” said Ford Obert.

Delighted as I was that he should believe it, I was yet struck by the complacency of his confidence, which connected itself again with my observation of their so recent colloquy. “Oh, for you to be so sure, has Mrs. Server squared you?”

“Is he here?” he for all answer to this insistently asked.

I faltered but an instant. “No; he isn’t here. It’s no thanks to one’s scruples, but perhaps it’s lucky for one’s manners. I speak at least for mine. If you’ve watched,” I pursued, “you’ve doubtless sufficiently seen what has already become of mine. He isn’t here, at all events,” I repeated, “and we must do without his identity. What, in fact, are we showing each other,” I asked, “but that we have done without it?”

“I have!” my friend declared with supreme frankness and with something of the note, as I was obliged to recognise, of my own constructive joy. “I’ve done perfectly without it.”

I saw in fact that he had, and It struck me really as wonderful. But I controlled the expression of my wonder. “So that if you spoke therefore just now of watching them – ”

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“I meant of course” – he took It straight up – “watching the Brissendens. And naturally, above all,” he as quickly subjoined, “the wife.”

I was now full of concurrence. “Ah, naturally, above all, the wife.”

So far as was required It encouraged him. “A woman’s lover doesn’t matter – doesn’t matter at least to anyone but himself, doesn’t matter to you or to me or to her – when once she has given him up.”

It made me, this testimony of his observation, show, in spite of my having by this time so counted on it, something of the vivacity of my emotion. “She has given him up?”

But the surprise with which he looked round put me back on my guard. “Of what else then are we talking?”

“Of nothing else, of course,” I stammered. “But the way you see – !” I found my refuge in the gasp of my admiration.

“I do see. But” – he would come back to that – “only through your having seen first. You gave me the pieces. I’ve but put them together. You gave me the Brissendens – bound hand and foot; and I’ve but made them, in that sorry state, pull me through. I’ve blown on my torch, in other words, till, flaring and smoking, It has guided me, through a magnificent chiaroscuro of colour and shadow, out into the light of day.”

I was really dazzled by his image, for It represented his personal work. “You’ve done more than I, It strikes me – and with less to do It with. If I gave you the Brissendens I gave you all I had.”

“But all you had was immense, my dear man. The Brissendens are immense.”

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“Of course the Brissendens are immense! If they hadn’t been immense they wouldn’t have been – nothing would have been – anything.” Then after a pause, “Your image is splendid,” I went on – “your being out of the cave. But what is It exactly,” I insidiously threw out, “that you call the ‘light of day’?”

I remained a moment, however, not sure whether I had been too subtle or too simple. He had another of his cautions. “What do you – ?”

But I was determined to make him give It me all himself, for It was from my not prompting him that its value would come. “You tell me,” I accordingly rather crudely pleaded, “first.”

It gave us a moment during which he so looked as if I asked too much, that I had a fear of losing all. He even spoke with some impatience. “If you really haven’t found It for yourself, you know. I scarce see what you can have found.”

Then I had my inspiration. I risked an approach to roughness, and all the more easily that my words were strict truth. “Oh, don’t be afraid – greater things than yours!”

It succeeded, for It played upon his curiosity, and he visibly imagined that, with impatience controlled, he should learn what these things were. He relaxed, he responded, and the next moment I was in all but full enjoyment of the piece wanted to make all my other pieces right – right because of that special beauty in my scheme through which the whole depended so on each part and each part so guaranteed the whole. “What I call the light of day is the sense I’ve arrived at of her vision.”

“Her vision?” – I just balanced in the air.

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“Of what they have in common. His – poor chap’s – extraordinary situation too.”

“Bravo! And you see in that –?”

“What, all these hours, has touched, fascinated, drawn her. It has been an instinct with her.”

“Bravissimo!”

It saw him, my approval, safely into port. “The instinct of sympathy, pity – the response to fellowship in misery; the sight of another fate as strange, as monstrous as her own.”

I couldn’t help jumping straight up – I stood before him. “So that whoever may have been the man, the man now, the actual man – ”

“Oh,” said Obert, looking, luminous and straight, up at me from his seat, “the man now, the actual man – !” But he stopped short, with his eyes suddenly quitting me and his words becoming a formless ejaculation. The door of the room, to which my back was turned, had opened, and I quickly looked round. It was Brissenden himself who, to my supreme surprise, stood there, with rapid inquiry in his attitude and face. I saw, as soon as he caught mine, that I was what he wanted, and, immediately excusing myself for an instant to Obert, I anticipated, by moving across the room, the need, on poor Briss’s part, of my further demonstration. My whole sense of the situation blazed up at the touch of his presence, and even before I reached him It had rolled over me in a prodigious wave that I had lost nothing whatever. I can’t begin to say how the fact of his appearance crowned the communication my interlocutor had just made me, nor in what a bright confusion of many things I found myself facing poor Briss. One

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of these things was precisely that he had never been so much poor Briss as at this moment. That ministered to the confusion as well as to the brightness, for if his being there at all renewed my sources and replenished my current – spoke all, in short, for my gain – so, on the other hand, in the light of what I had just had from Obert, his particular aspect was something of a shock. I can’t present this especial impression better than by the mention of my instant certitude that what he had come for was to bring me a message and that somehow – yes, indubitably – this circumstance seemed to have placed him again at the very bottom of his hole. It was down in that depth that he let me see him – It was out of It that he delivered himself. Poor Briss! poor Briss! – I had asked myself before he spoke with what kindness enough I could meet him. Poor Briss! poor Briss! – I am not even now sure that I didn’t first meet him by that irrepressible murmur. It was in It all for me that, thus, at midnight, he had traversed on his errand the length of the great dark house. I trod with him, over the velvet and the marble, through the twists and turns, among the glooms and glimmers and echoes, every inch of the way, and I don’t know what humiliation, for him, was constituted there, between us, by his long pilgrimage. It was the final expression of his sacrifice.

“My wife has something to say to you.”

“Mrs. Briss? Good!” – and I could only hope the candour of my surprise was all I tried to make it. “Is she with you there?” “No, but she has asked me to say to you that if you’ll pres-

ently be in the drawing-room she’ll come.”

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Who could doubt, as I laid my hand on his shoulder, fairly patting it, in spite of myself, for applause – who could doubt where I would presently be? “It’s most uncommonly good of both of you.”

There was something in his inscrutable service that, making him almost august, gave my dissimulated eagerness the sound of a heartless compliment. I stood for the hollow chatter of the vulgar world, and he – oh, he was as serious as he was conscious; which was enough. “She says you’ll know what she wishes – and she was sure I’d find you here. So I may tell her you’ll come?”

His courtesy half broke my heart. “Why, my dear man, with all the pleasure – ! So many thousand thanks. I’ll be with her.” “Thanks to you. She’ll be down. Good-night.” He looked round the room – at the two or three clusters of men, smoking, engaged, contented, on their easy seats and among their popped corks; he looked over an instant at Ford Obert, whose eyes, I thought, he momentarily held. It was absolutely as if, for me, he were seeking such things – out of what was closing over him – for the last time. Then he turned again to the door, which, just not to fail humanly to accompany him a step, I had opened. On the other side of It I took leave of him. The passage, though there was a light in the distance, was darker than the

smoking-room, and I had drawn the door to.

“Good-night, Brissenden. I shall be gone to-morrow before you show.”

I shall never forget the way that, struck by my word, he let his white face fix me in the dusk. “‘Show’? What do I show?”

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