phrasing of Strunk and White’s Most Famous Rule: “Omit Needless Words”
Strunk and White explain:
“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short, but that every word tell.”
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5. “Omit Needless Words”
(cont’d)
A big culprit is compound prepositions, such 
as “by virtue of”, “in order to”, “in relation to”, “in terms of”, and “with respect to”.
Compare:
“The plaintiff succeeded with respect to his negligence action.”
Why not say: “The plaintiff succeeded in his negligence action.”
Taken from Plain English in Legal Writing: A Computer- based exercise devised by Julie Cassidy, Donna Brownrigg, Joy Kent, Jim Corkery and John Barrett, Bond University School of Law, 1989, citing Richard Wydick 82 (University of California at Davis), Plain English for
5. “Omit Needless Words”
(cont’d)
Source: Ibid. at Frame 31.
Compound |
Simple composition |
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phrase |
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At that time |
Then |
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Now and again |
Sometimes |
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By virtue of |
under |
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For the purpose |
To |
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of |
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For the reason |
Because |
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that |
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In accordance |
Under |
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with |
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By means of |
By |
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In connection |
About, concerning |
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with |
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In order to |
To |
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In the event that |
If |
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In the nature of |
Like |
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5. “Omit Needless Words”
(cont’d)
Similarly, replace verbose word clusters with appropriate |
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common, simpler word or omit them entirely. Watch for |
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phrases like |
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these: |
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[never use this |
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The fact that |
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phrase] |
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In some cases |
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Sometimes |
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In many instances |
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Often |
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In the case of |
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When |
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Than was formerly |
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Now |
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the case |
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Despite the fact |
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Although |
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For the period of |
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For |
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The question as to |
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Whether |
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whether |
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Until such time as |
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Until |
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In the event that |
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if |
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Source: Ibid. at Frame 37, citing from Wydick. |
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5. “Omit Needless Words”
(cont’d)
Similarly, avoid over-relying on “glue words” – words that
do no more than hold the working words together. Too many glue words can make a sentence unnecessarily long.
Sentences that are too long may become unintelligible if they are too hard to follow. As you will notice in the example below, we often see problems when writers pile on phrases linked by prepositions. That is a lazy way to write.
Compare: “An application for a trial by jury was made by counsel for the plaintiff.”
Why not instead write: “Plaintiff’s counsel applied for a jury trial”.
Which of these two sentences is easier to read? Which do you think is more effective?
Source: Plain English in Legal Writing, Frames 43 and |
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46, citing Wydick. |
85 |
5. “Omit Needless Words”
(cont’d)
Sometimes surplus words can be cut by replacing a clause with an adjective or an adverb:
Compare: “The barrister rejected the offer made by the defendant to settle the case for $40,000.”
With: “The barrister rejected the defendant’s settlement offer of $40,000.”
Compare: “The order which was made in 1998 was reversed by the new statute.”
With: “The new statute reversed the 1998 order.”
Again, which is punchier? We suspect you’ll agree that the second sentences are shorter, tighter and stronger than the originals.
Source: Plain English in Legal Writing, Frame 52.
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5. “Omit Needless Words”
(Cont’d)
Real example:
“Skerrigan’s Towing business is carrying on a business in partnership business entity.”
Better: “Skerrigan’s Towing is carrying on business as a partnership.”
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6. Proper
Paragraphing
• There is no absolute rule regarding length of paragraphs. However, a paragraph should contain within it one developed idea.
• In doing so it is best to commence with a topic sentence that sets the up what the paragraph will cover. The balance of the paragraph enhances, clarifies or explores that topic.
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6. Proper Paragraphing
(cont’d)
Here is an example of a topic sentence: 
“Mr Smith was away from work for 7 months after the accident and after discharge from
hospital arranged for 24 hour nursing care.”
The remainder of the paragraph will flesh out what happened during Mr Smith’s recovery.
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6. Proper Paragraphing
(cont’d)
Have logic to your paragraphs. Each one should build on the previous and lay the basis for what comes next. Structure
Structure Structure !!!!
Focus on writing topic sentences that connect your new paragraph to what came before. Smooth transitions are a hallmark of good writing.
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