Body Language and Interviews

Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

something to dread, the more work you will need to be prepared to do to reprogramme your subconscious. Repetition is the key to success.

Visualisation Part I I

Results from experiments with volleyball training showed one group visualising the ball going into the hoop continually over a three week period with no physical practice versus another team continually practicing over the same period, and a third group undertaking the same level of practice as normal. The results showed the greatest level of improvement on the court after 3 weeks was achieved by the team using visualisation alone followed by the group doing increased practice. You can utilise this tool with very positive results with the interview.

handled similar situations and brought about a successful conclusion in the

are just the person they are looking for, they have asked you to name your salary, and you too feel this is the perfect opportunity for you. How would you feel? If you had those feelings, how would your body language be? In front of a mirror, get into those feelings and hold your body accordingly. See the difference. You should be seeing somebody energised, enthusiastic, happy, and confident - all very positive attributes in an interviewee. The secret is to use visualisation to get into those feelings regularly before the interview, and indeed on the journey to the interview and whilst waiting in

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

believe the interview is really an 'interrogation', where someone is out to 'get you' to 'fail you', the chances are you will not perform your best.

Careful What You Think

If you sit in reception worrying about what you will say to certain questions, it is likely that levels of anxiety will rise, your breathing will get shallower and you will get on a negative cycle. Instead, keep forcing your mind back to visualising getting on really well with your interviewer and be prepared to greet them with a warm smile, good eye contact and an engaging handshake.

Everybody In The Company Is Your Interviewer

Do not save your warmth and personality for the interviewer alone. Views are frequently sought from reception and secretarial staff - so treat everybody with the same high level of engagement, interest and respect. I recently spoke to an H.R. Director in the City who said that her secretary always shows a candidate into her office and on leaving for the 'interview to commence' gives her boss either a nod and a smile or a shake of the head. No prizes for guessing what the filter in the interviewer's head might be before starting the interview!

The 'Yellow Post I t ' Technique

She talks about a workshop she ran where she used an icebreaker exercise getting everybody to write something that they wanted everybody else to know about them, on a yellow post it. They then had to put the yellow post its onto their foreheads and go and find out about each other. One might

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

have written 'my name is Fred', another 'my hobby is football'; whereas one participant wrote 'I want you to like me'. When I share this at my workshops, the common reaction is 'how sad'.

I then challenge the delegates and ask 'if we were all sufficiently honest and brave, I would suggest that each and every one of us could have the same or similar yellow post it: 'I want you to like me' or 'I want you to respect me' or at the very least 'I want you to acknowledge that you see me as a human being'. I have asked this question of some 3,000 individuals over the years and to date have only had one individual state he couldn't care less. From this we can safely conclude that as human beings we have a strong need to be seen and accepted as people rather than functionaries or 'positions' at work. This includes reception staff and secretaries.

The problem comes that as human beings; most of us are intrinsically selfish! Particularly at work and no more so than in the City of London, people spend time waiting for others to acknowledge their own 'invisible yellow post it', with an T i l acknowledge your yellow post it once you have acknowledged mine' attitude! Be a leader, practice on anybody and everybody in a 'safe' environment, such as reception staff, sales personnel at shops and supermarket checkout staff. Don't forget to include sellers of 'The Big Issue' - these people are going through really tough times and even

will make a positive difference to yours too. Go for it and once you come to the interview it will be second nature to treat everybody as human beings

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

The Smile

The genuine smile is arguably the most powerful piece of body language available to us. It is totally universal and so badly underutilised in London at work - and at interviews - it is hard to believe! Imagine you are sitting in a reception area waiting to have a meeting with somebody you do not know and as they spot you and approach you, they greet you with a warm genuine smile and arm outstretched ready to shake hands. Your subconscious 'creates a story', so dig into your subconscious to find out what you would make of such a greeting. What would your thoughts be about the person you are to spend the next hour with and how the meeting will be? I have asked this question of thousands of people and the results are remarkably similar each time. Typical responses are:

Yes, these thoughts arise from the subconscious and therefore there is little logic, but remember that what comes from the subconscious brain is 'accepted as being true' unless we receive contradictory data and need to process it through the conscious, logical brain. So, as human beings, a genuinely warm smile puts us at ease, makes us feel comfortable with this

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

On the other hand, I often hear candidates say that when they have been

for them anyway, I can't wait to get out'. If you allow your subconscious to rule, what it has computed becomes reality. Do remember that the subconscious has no logic. Of course the interviewer cannot have decided against you before having said hello (unless they have seen you slumped in reception or you are inappropriately dressed), so if you receive this type of

and get on with their real job . Who knows why they appear gruff - they might be feeling unwell, have written off their car that day, had a row with their partner, or a whole host of other reasons totally unconnected with you. The one thing you can be assured of is that they will really appreciate a well

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

The Greeting

The greeting is arguably the most important part of the interview because this creates the first impression. First impressions create a filter in the subconscious through which words are subsequently filtered. If the first impression (which happens in the subconscious) is 'this looks like the one, somebody I will get on with and somebody who will fit in', questions are frequently different and noticeably easier than if the first impression is 'this is going to be a waste of time'. Even if the questions are the same, the answers will be received by the interviewer through different filters.

The Handshake

This is something we give little thought to but it is very important and powerful messages are conveyed at a subconscious level.

In the UK we are known to be far less tactile than most other cultures, and it is a great shame since as human beings we are all tactile and have a strong need for appropriate touch. Perhaps it is no co-incidence that we are also known as being amongst the world's greatest animal lovers - we get so little touch in every day life that we rush home to stroke our cats and our dogs! How sad. I am delighted to see that the younger generation are much better and more proactive than my generation, regularly greeting each other

MD attended a motivational workshop and was so enthused he invited the speaker to address all his staff for half a day. The speaker encouraged all

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

members of staff to give each other a hug at the end of the morning and asked that if they only did one thing differently in the future, it was to give each other a hug at the start of each day. Well, being England, this was too much for the majority of the male staff, but the women gave each other and the men a hug at the start of each day and the men agreed to shake hands. Apparently this was the only change introduced, yet the fortunes of the factory quickly turned around as a result of the previously high level of days absent through sickness being reduced to a negligible amount and a general raising in morale. Such is the power of (appropriate) touch. (In this case it was appropriate because permission had been given in advance).

I was once coaching a man who was chair of a major industry body and in this capacity he said that there were many evenings when he would need to shake hands with in excess of 100 people - and that each handshake was different - and it is true! Although the communication normally happens at a subconscious level, try to remember to bring it up to the conscious brain from time to time. What did you really feel about the other person's handshake? Did you feel they were really pleased to see you or did you feel they were just doing it because it is a ritual? Did you feel they were trying to dominate, or did you feel they were a bit weak? The interesting thing is that our subconscious brains that contain no logical processing powers conclude that a weak handshake means the person is weak, an over strong handshake means the person is aggressive. In fact it is much more likely to mean the individual has not received feedback on their handshake - so remember not to read too much into it and instead get feedback on your own handshake from several different people and work to ensure it conveys a strong confident, non aggressive message. Boys that have attended public school will probably have been taught the intricacies of this important form of communication - but few of the rest of us have received guidance or feedback. We are let loose on the big wide world communicating volumes but not having a clue what we are communicating.

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

The Step By Step Guide To A Successful Handshake

The origin of the handshake is to demonstrate that the person comes in peace, i.e. they are carrying no weapons, so men, please ensure the other hand is visible, not in your pocket where another weapon might be concealed!

•Get your mindset right and be prepared to acknowledge the other

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Body Language and Interviews © Positive Potential Ltd

• The aim with the hand is to bond by having as much skin to skin contact as possible, so ensure your hand is not hollowed (a hollow greeting).

• Keeping your chin up and maintaining good eye contact, make a very small bow, or lean very slightly towards the other indicating you are truly interested in them .

• It is usual in the UK to have a couple of small shakes - too many and you will appear over anxious to please, just one and you may appear as if you just want to get away!

• ALWAYS stand fully for a handshake, giving yourself time to turn so your torso is fully facing the other person.

Well, what a complicated procedure for something we take for granted! Not really once you have mastered it - the only thing you need to do is to practice, practice, practice ensuring you regularly receive feedback until a truly engaging handshake is really 'in the muscle' and you no longer need to think about it in your conscious brain.

Comfort Zones

As previously mentioned, we are all naturally rather selfish - we are programmed to ensure we remain in our comfort zones. It can feel quite uncomfortable trying to communicate with somebody when they have a different spatial need from you, particularly if their comfort zone is smaller and it feels as though they are 'in your face'. In this instance the

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