Problem solving

The ground we cover in this section isn’t specific to DPAFU. Instead, we’re going to show you an approach that’s useful when trying to solve certain types of problems, such as when you encounter a dilemma or when you’re unsure of the best option to choose.

Step 1: Clearly define the problem. What are your choices or options? This may involve drawing up a list and writing things down. As in the previous exercises, you will need to be very specific. How will you know when the problem is resolved? How will you measure any change? Possible problem areas include: intimate relationships; family relationships; friendships; employment or study; money and debt; housing; legal matters; substance dependency; physical or mental health; sexual orientation; and bereavement or impending loss. Once you have the problem well-defined, you’ll be able to set your goals.

Step 2: Think of as many answers or solutions as possible. At this stage, it doesn’t matter how unlikely or impossible these solutions may seem. One of the main reasons that people find it difficult to successfully solve their problems is that they’re too dismissive of possible solutions. If you hear yourself starting to say ‘Yes, but . . .’, stop! Write your suggestion down anyway. Sometimes unrealistic solutions help you think more laterally and they can help to generate good solutions. You may also wish to survey the advice and opinions of other people and ask them what they would do in the same situation. Once you have a long list of possible solutions, you need to evaluate each of these in turn. Write out a list of pros and cons for solutions that seem most likely. What are the advantages and disadvantages of one option over another? What are the advantages and disadvantages of not choosing one option over another? Although these questions sound remarkably similar, they don’t always generate the same responses. For example, imagine that you are thinking about ending a relationship. What would be the advantages and disadvantages of leaving? What would be the advantages and disadvantages of staying?

Step 3: Identify your own resources, skills and abilities, and think about how you’ve coped in the past. What worked well and what didn’t work? Do you use avoidance or unhelpful coping methods like alcohol or drugs? What impact do these methods of coping have on your problems? Who are you able to share your problems with? Do you have friends or family members that you can discuss your problems with? Remember the old adage: ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.

Step 4: Once you’ve written down the most viable options, choose one to try out first. Work out in detail the steps you’ll have to take, the order you’ll need to take them in, and the time frame for each. The better your planning at this stage, the more likely you are to be successful. These steps might include rehearsing in your imagination what you’re going to say or do. This will help build your confidence when you think through the likely consequences. You could also role-play the scene with a friend or family member. If your problem is more to do with time management, you might find an activity diary helpful. For example, if you’ve got behind in your studies or work, plan to add just 30 minutes more each day. By the end of the week you will have achieved three and a half hours additional work or study. If on the other hand your problem is more one of unhelpful beliefs, you may wish to use a thought record. As we discussed earlier, you can then challenge these beliefs. For certain problems, you may also wish to obtain expert advice from organizations such as the Citizens Advice Bureau, Shelter, Mind, or from a solicitor or local law centre.

Step 5: Carry out the solution. Go ahead and do what you’ve planned.

Step 6: Evaluate the outcome. This may be in the form of a daily or weekly diary and it’ll depend on the goals you identified at the beginning of the problem-solving exercise. For example, you may wish to rate the problem as solved, good progress, some progress or no change. Common causes of difficulty with problem-solving include low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence. Or it may be that the problems selected represent long-standing personal difficulties, such as a long history of very poor or dysfunctional relationships. In these cases more traditional face-to-face therapy will be needed. If your outcome has not been as good as you’d like, you may want to return to your brainstorming list and choose the next most viable solution. Go through steps 3–6 again with this solution. Evaluate your outcome again. Did this work better?

This six-step approach can be helpful for many types of problem, for example relationship difficulties, including ending intimate partner relationships and falling out with friends or family; whether to leave a job or change roles within employment; study problems such as falling behind with coursework or failing exams; time management; problems bringing up your children; and indeed any other major choices that we face in day-to-day life. Remember some situations cannot change – you may, for example, have suffered bereavement, lost your job or been diagnosed with cancer. Problem solving is about saying: Okay, there are some things I can’t change, but I still have lots of options open to me as to what I do next. How can I choose the best option? How can I take the first steps?