Behaving in new ways: Tackling your avoidance and safety-seeking behaviors

Earlier we saw how DPAFU sensations can make you behave in particular ways, for instance by avoiding situations or by adopting strategies that you feel help you cope (safety-seeking behaviors). We also considered how these might actually help continue your problems or even make them worse. In order to break this negative cycle you will need to actively tackle these behaviors. The way to do this is to first create a hierarchy of such behaviors. Then these can be challenged with the use of behavioral experiments.

How to create a hierarchy of the behaviors you want to change

Some of the earlier exercises will have helped you identify already the negative behaviors (avoidances and safety-seeking behaviors) that are associated with your DPAFU. For example, look in the sections entitled ‘Assessing the impact DPAFU has on your life’ (page 59), ‘Diary keeping’ (page 71) and ‘Building an explanation that fits’ (page 84). Write a list of all of the behaviors you noted in these sections on the lines below:

Next, look through your list and rate each behavior in terms of: (1) how difficult you would find it to do (if it is something you avoid); or (2) how difficult you would find it to not do (if it is a safety-seeking behavior that gives you a sense of comfort). Use the scale of 0–10 given below and write a number next to each behavior on the list you have created.

Now write out the list again, on the lines below. But this time re-order the behaviors by placing the behavior with the highest number at the top, and working down through the list so that the lowest number is at the bottom. This is your personal hierarchy of avoidance and/or safety-seeking behaviors.

Example: Mina’s hierarchy

Finding out about your underlying assumptions

Behavioral experiments are ways of testing out the thoughts, beliefs and assumptions that underlie your avoidances and safety-seeking behaviors. In order to change the behavior, you first need to identify the assumptions that cause it. Then you can challenge these assumptions, much in the same way as you did when you used a thought record. However, with thought records you challenged the negative automatic thought just by thinking of counter-evidence. However, in a behavioral experiment you need to actively do something to challenge your thoughts. First, you set up your assumptions in the form of a prediction. Next you devise an experiment to test whether what you believe (i.e. your negative assumptions) does or doesn’t come true in real life.

Let’s use the example of Mina. In her hierarchy of avoidances and safety-seeking behaviors, Mina rated driving as 10/10 in terms of difficulty. In other words, she saw driving as the most difficult thing she could do given her DPAFU. But we need to understand why driving is so difficult for her. Not everyone will have the same underlying reasons to explain their behavior, even if the behavior is the same. One person may avoid driving because they feel they won’t be able to see properly. Someone else may avoid driving because they think they will become too anxious. Another person may avoid it because they are convinced they will have an accident. The behavior (i.e. avoiding driving) is the same, but the beliefs underlying it differ.

In order to find out what beliefs are causing you to behave in certain ways, choose one of the behaviors you want to change and ask yourself the following questions:

 

•   What do you think might happen if you didn’t behave in this way? (For safety-seeking behaviors)

•   What would be the worst thing that could happen if you didn’t behave in this way? (For safety-seeking behaviors)

•   What do you think might happen if you behaved in this way? (For avoidance)

•   What do you think would be the worst thing that could happen if you behaved in this way? (For avoidance)

•   What images come to mind when you picture behaving, or not behaving, in this way?

•   What would the worst outcome mean to you?

•   What would the worst outcome say about you as a person?

•   What would be so bad about that?

Keep repeating the above questions in any order until you reach what you feel is at the root cause of your behavior. This is called the downward arrow technique.

So for Mina’s example of avoiding driving, the exercise might go as follows:

Here’s another example, this time using the downward arrow technique with Mina’s safety-seeking behavior of only going to the supermarket very early in the morning when it’s quiet:

Once you have identified the core belief underlying your behavior, it will become very clear as to why you want to avoid something or use a safety-seeking behavior. To use Mina’s example, if you truly believe that you’ll have a serious car crash if you drive, that you’ll be blamed for the crash and think yourself useless, then it’s hardly surprising that you avoid driving. Or if you think other people will laugh at you and think you’re mad, naturally you’ll want to do as much of your shopping online as you can. However, these beliefs are often our worst fears and not based in reality. Just as negative automatic thoughts can be biased and distorted, so too can the underlying assumptions that cause us to behave in certain ways. Unless we test out and challenge these assumptions, we will be stuck in repeated cycles of behavior that maintain our problems.

Devising behavioral experiments

Using the examples above, Mina’s driving prediction would be: ‘If I drive the car, I’ll have a serious accident.’ Her supermarket prediction would be: ‘If I go shopping when it’s crowded, other people will laugh and point at me.’ What experiments do you think Mina could use to test out these predictions? For driving, you might suggest she try a short drive and see what happens. Did her prediction of having a crash come true? What about an experiment for Mina’s supermarket shopping? Well, it might be that she goes shopping at a busier time of day and sees what happens. Do other people actually laugh and point?

In order to see if your prediction changes as a result of the behavioral experiment, you’ll need to measure the change. To do this, you need to rate your prediction both before and after the experiment in terms of how much you believe your assumption to be true. This is similar to the belief ratings you did in the section on thought records.

You might already be able to see a difficulty in setting up behavioral experiments. If you believe something terrible will happen if you do something, or alternatively if you don’t do something, you’re probably going to be very worried about testing it out. So it’s important to make the behavioral experiment easy enough for you to go ahead and try it out. In the case of driving, you might suggest Mina start with a very short drive on a quiet bit of road. For the supermarket, you might want her to go at a time when it’s likely to be only a little bit busier. Start with relatively easy experiments. Just by doing them you’ll build up your confidence. Don’t try to do too much at once. Some simple ways you can make things easier for yourself might include:

 

•   Starting with something that is rated low on your hierarchy – you’ll find this easier to challenge.

•   Trying things for very short periods to begin with, and then gradually increasing the time.

•   Testing things out with people who don’t know you or, alternatively, who know you well and understand your problems.

•   Trying your experiment with the help of a friend, partner or family member before doing it on your own.

•   Thinking carefully beforehand about how you can make the experiment a bit easier for yourself.

Here’s what you need to do to set up a successful behavioral experiment:

1   Identify your target avoidance or safety-seeking behaviors.

2   Rate each of these in terms of how difficult it would be to do or to stop doing.

3   Build a hierarchy with the most difficult at the top and the easiest at the bottom.

4   Choose something easy to start with.

5   Identify your underlying assumption using the downward arrow technique.

6   Try to be as precise as possible about your belief.

7   Rate how much you believe in your prediction.

8   Devise a behavioral experiment that will test out your prediction.

9   Carry out the experiment!

10   Compare the actual result to the result you predicted. How accurate was your prediction?

11   Re-rate your belief if your prediction did not come true. Modify if necessary.

12   Ask yourself what you have learnt from this experiment.

On page 111 is an example worksheet for a behavioral experiment and on page 112 a blank one that you can complete for your own experiments. You’ll find another blank copy in Appendix III.

You’ll see from these examples that Mina’s belief in her original assumption was a bit lower after she carried out the behavioral experiments than before. Don’t worry if your belief rating doesn’t reduce a great deal. To achieve this, you’re likely to need to set up several experiments that gradually increase in difficulty. Often, even if an experiment has been successful, you may find that you think of a ‘yes, but’ type statement that provides an excuse for why it worked out this time. For instance, in the example above, Mina felt that an accident was only prevented because her sister was there and kept talking to her as she drove. She also thought that people didn’t laugh at her in the supermarket because it was lunchtime and they were all in a hurry. Can you think of further experiments that she could try in order to test these beliefs out? Perhaps she would need to drive again without her sister talking to her. Perhaps she could try driving on her own. Perhaps she needs to go to the supermarket in the evening when it might be busy but people wouldn’t be in a hurry. Look out for any ‘yes, but’ thoughts you have that seem to diminish the effectiveness of your own experiment. Set up another experiment to test your new prediction.