Building an explanation that fits

The diary and problem definition exercises are designed to help you to identify the sensations associated with your DPAFU, to rate the intensity of these sensations, and to understand the impact they are having on your life. Now you have done this you can begin to identify your thoughts about these sensations to see how they affect your behavior. All of this information can then be fitted into the psychological model we outlined in the first part of the book. To begin with, consider the sensations you experience and the sense you make of them. This is what we are referring to when we talk about ’appraisals’ or ‘interpretations’. Use the boxes above to write down the main sensations of DPAFU that you experience. Then consider what these sensations lead you to think.

Once you’ve done this, you can begin to build up a picture of how these appraisals affect your mood. You will need to identify the ways in which you notice your symptoms, and how, when and where you become aware of them. Next you need to think about how all this affects your mood and emotions. Again, use the empty boxes overleaf.

Finally, try to identify your safety-seeking behaviors. These are the things you do (sayings, behaviors, rituals, thoughts) or avoid (situations, activities, people or places). These behaviors may make you feel that the DPAFU is more manageable, or help you cope or to feel better. In the first box are some examples. Use the second box to identify your own.

Once you’ve completed this basic model, you’ll have a clearer idea of some of the things that lead to the problem continuing. You can then decide where to begin to tackle the problem. Always remember to break things down into more manageable chunks. Take one step at a time so that you do not feel overwhelmed by your problems. It is often advisable to begin with a smaller or less significant problem until you’ve got the hang of the techniques outlined in this book. If you try to focus on all of your problems, you can easily feel overwhelmed or disheartened.

You may be thinking that none of this applies to you. You may feel that the type of DPAFU you suffer with is more about ‘emotional detachment’ or ‘numbness’ and that there are actually no variations and no emotions. Even so, you’ll probably still experience this numbness as distressing and as something sinister or worrying. Otherwise you wouldn’t see yourself as having a problem and wouldn’t need to consult a self-help book. So what you see as a lack or absence of emotion is a problem and it can be treated in the same way as the issues we’ve just described. And in fact the distress, upset or sadness that the numbness brings are actually emotions. On the other hand, if you’re truly not bothered by feeling nothing or numbness, then it’s not a problem.

Perhaps you’re not consciously aware of this absence of emotion at all times. You may only think about it when you’re sitting alone. Or it may be that the feelings are triggered when you’re outdoors and hear a particular sound or smell a particular smell. Research has indicated that thinking over and over (ruminating) about what you are (or are not) feeling is not helpful. Learn to focus your attention on the external world. Focus on something outside of yourself and how you feel. Concentrate instead on the task at hand.

There may also be variations in your experiences that you are not aware of at the moment. Again, through careful completion of a diary you will become aware of patterns of thoughts, moods and behaviors and will be able to build up your own psychological model. This model building is important to specify exactly what DPAFU feels like to you.