Rule 4. Choose the right place.

It should satisfy two conditions as well:

1. There should be nothing to disturb or divert you;

2. The place should correspond to the aims of the talk.

Those are usually visitors and telephone calls that are in the way. You must think of a place to go to, where neither visitors nor telephone calls should interfere with you, when planning a talk.

The manager’s office is not always the best place for a talk. For example, the most appropriate place for a heart-to-heart talk with your subordinate is his working place where he feels more confident and well at ease. Acceptable might be some neutral territory — any premise which is vacant at the moment.

By the way, your own office can contain various zones for communication: official, semi-official and (size of the room permitting) unofficial communication.

•In official communication you occupy your customary place - at the desk.

•In semi-official communication — take a seat in front of the visitor, at an attached table or at the conference table, as if you level up your visitor's and your own statuses.

•A zone of unofficial communication consists of two-three arm-chairs (preferably comfortable and inviting for relaxa­tion) and a small table.

As a rule, these zones suit the purpose of "external com­munication". But those measures appear to be insufficient for a subordinate, who, in the years of his work, has worked out a reflex of being on the alert in his boss's office. In the office it is harder to have heart-to-heart talk than at subordinate's work­ing place or in neutral premises.

Rule 5. Objectives of the first part of a talk: a) to have the participants focus their attention on the subjects; b) to create the atmosphere of mutual confidence.

It is not easy to gain steady attention because we are poor listeners. We'd rather speak than listen. Men, as a rule, are worse listeners as compared with women. They usually are more impatient in talks, particularly in talks with women.

However, if the partner's attention is not attracted, the talk does not come off well. How to gain attention?

In case you speak about your problems alone without con­sidering the interests of (he partner you can hardly expect success.

Think, how to tie your problem with your partner's prob­lems, find what might interest him in your proposition. In other words, start your talk with the subject that is of interest to your partner.

To illustrate this method we can tell, for instance, an amusing incident which occurred to academician A.N. Krylov, outstanding Russian shipbuilder and mathematician. It happened that the acad­emician combined two important posts in the Sea Department. And since he coped with both of them well, the "sea" minister submitted a bill which was to make the combining obligatory. The sea commit­tee, which was made mostly of dozing, aged admirals, was ready to stamp this proposition without considering it in-depth.

To have the bill voted down, Krylov, in his speech first of all, aroused the attention of the dozing committee members. He said: "Peter I specifies in his "Sea Rules" the details of the procedure of investigating cases of rape of maidens..." (further the speaker gave several quotations with some spicy details and completely captivated the brave captains' attention). The academician went on: "And these rules wind up with the direction: to punish unrespectable of the rank. As for the bill under consideration, it is made with regard to my rank...". After that the bill was concertedly turned down.

An atmosphere of mutual trust is also absolutely indispen­sable for positive outcome of the talk. An interlocutor who is set against you declines even your most reasonable positions because he naturally extends to them his negative attitude to the initiator.

An atmosphere of mutual sympathy can be created with the help of very elementary methods.

And the first thing to begin with is punctuality on the part of the talk initiator. In case the partner has to wait against the ap­pointed time this leads to unwitting accumulation of irritation which may ultimately result (even subconsciously) in his ag­gressive mood in the talk. If circumstances do not allow to ar­range the talk in due time it is essential to inform the invited person about it (beforehand, if possible) to apologize and make a reappointment. It is better to ask the initiator about the time most suitable to him.

You build up a cordial atmosphere by saying: "Glad to see you", "It's a good thing you came", praise the partner for something or tell him a complement.