Business Men

Here he comes, here comes Mr. Spick' n 'Span. His footsteps are firm. His trousers are not too long, but not quite as short as Charlie Chaplin's. His socks match his trousers and shoes. His sports jacket is not too loose —just loose enough to allow freedom of movement. His shoul­ders are perfectly straight. His collar clings to his robust neck neatly. His sleeves cover his wrists. His shirt cuffs are one centimeter longer than his jacket sleeves. He is wear­ing a shirt and tie of matching colours, unless the colours are different but go together exceptionally well. The tip of his tie reaches down to his belt buckle (don’t let it hang any lower or God knows what your partners will think). An impeccable businessman's belt and his watch bracelet are made of top quality leather. His shoes are shining, as are his carefully shaved slightly suntanned cheeks.

This man is so beyond criticism that anyone, except his business counterparts, would feel uncomfortable around him. One would be reluctant to go out to lunch with him. Mr. Perfection will certainly find multiple flaws in your makeup. He will also notice that the buttons of your favourite jacket are plastic, not ivory. One thing you can be sure of is that his bank account looks great. At his funeral, his heirs will shed tears of joy by the bucketful.

Business Lady

As predictable as a flip-over calendar, as boring as a dry, lemon peel, as impeccable as a Swiss-made time-piece ticking delicately on her wrist. She is wearing a suit jacket of rough fabric or something even more repulsively respectable – a dress suit. Your eye will not be tempted to linger on her legs and her feet shod in comfortable low-heeled shoes. She knows her rights well. In the roomy bottom drawer of her desk, there is a tape recording of a spring 1986 lecture on sexism at Yale. Her hair style is irreproachable, her teeth are in perfect condition, and the frame of her glasses on shining ominously. You fill acute lack of fresh air around her.

This image is ideal, but outdated.

A modern business woman is different. First of all, she is quite a bit younger. Her wardrobe is prudently devoid of both the hyper provocative and the hyper conventional. Official dress can be feminine, too. We have always known why Mlle Channel was so averse to uncovering her ' knees (she gave us this spiel that «the knees are the ugliest part of female legs», but most likely, the fashion mentress simply hated her own knees). A business lady of the new generation doesn't try too hard to conceal her beautiful body. But no excesses! A shirt short is no argument when you are talking business. Knee length or a little longer is still your best bet.

It is not advisable to wear black stockings or tights to the Office, unless you are starring in a remake of Cabaret, Any skin-tight garment, low-cut dress, high heels, big shining buttons, flounces, etc. had better be avoided, or your counterpart may begin wondering if he is wasting his time talking to you and whether he should have gone bowling instead.