Summary

In this unit we explored interpersonal and small group conflict, the types of conflicts that occur, the don'ts and dos of conflict management, and what to do before and after the conflict.

• Relationship and small group conflict occurs among people who are connected but who have opposing goals that interfere with others' desired goals. Conflicts may occur face-to-face or on the Internet, through e-mail, in newsgroups, and in other contexts.

• Content conflicts center on objects, events, and persons in the world that are usually, though not always, external to the parties involved.

• Relationship conflicts are concerned not so much with some external object as with relationships between individuals – with such issues as who is in charge, how equal the partners are in a primary relationship, or who has the right to set down rules of behavior.

• Unproductive and productive conflict strategies include: win-lose and win-win approaches, avoidance and fighting actively, force and talk, blame and empathy, gunnysacking and present focus, manipulation and spontaneity, personal rejection and acceptance, fighting below and above the belt, face-detracting and face-enhancing tactics, nonassertive and assertive approaches, and fighting aggressively and argumentatively.

• To cultivate constructive argumentativeness, treat disagreements objectively and avoid attacking the other person, reaffirm the other's sense of competence, avoid interrupting, stress equality and similarities, express interest in the other's position, avoid presenting your arguments too emotionally, and allow the other to save face.

• In preparation for conflict, try to fight in private and when all are ready to fight. Have a clear idea of what you want to fight about and be specific, fight about things that can be solved, and reexamine beliefs that may be unrealistic.

• After the conflict, assess what you've learned, keep the conflict in perspective, let go of negative feelings, and increase positiveness.

KEY TERMS

interpersonal and small group conflict content conflict relationship conflict win-lose strategies win-win strategies

avoidance nonnegotiation force blame gunnysacking manipulation

spontaneity personal rejection beltlining verbal aggressiveness argumentativeness

THINKING CRITICALLY ABOUT

Interpersonal and Small Group Conflict

• Why do you think men are more likely to withdraw from conflict than women? For example, what arguments can you present for or against any of these reasons: because men have difficulty dealing with conflict? Because the culture has taught men to avoid it? Because withdrawal is an expression of power?

• If you have access, log on to Research Navigator (www.researchnavigator. com) and locate an article dealing with interpersonal or group conflict. What can you learn about conflict and communication from this article?

• Visit some game websites and examine the rules of the games. What kinds of conflict strategies do these game rules embody? Do you think such games influence people's interpersonal conflict strategies?

• What does your own culture teach about conflict and its management? What strategies does it prohibit? Are some strategies prohibited in conflict with certain people (say, your parents) but not with others (say, your friends)? Does your culture prescribe certain ways of dealing with conflict? Does it have different expectations for men and for women? To what degree have you internalized these teachings? What effect do these teachings have on your actual conflict behaviors?

• How would you describe your conflict style in your own close relationships in terms of competing, avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and compromising?

• In your experience, what topics cause the most conflict among your friends? Your family? Your romantic partners? Your work colleagues? What can you learn from this topic analysis?