Lecture 6

Interpersonal and Small Group Conflict unit contents

Interpersonal and Small Group Conflict

Types of Conflict

Conflict Management Skills

No matter how effective a communicator you are, you'll still experience conflict and disagreements in interpersonal relationships and in the social and work groups of which you are a part. At some point in your personal, social, and work relationships you'll find yourself in conflict with another person or even with an entire group. Because conflict is an inevitable part of interpersonal and group life, it's essential to learn how it works, how it can go wrong, and what you can do to resolve conflicts effectively. In this unit you'll learn

• what conflict is and how it operates

• how you can engage in conflict so that differences can be resolved

and your relationships and your groups can emerge stronger rather

than weaker.

Interpersonal and Small Group Conflict

Interpersonal and small group conflicts may concern goals to be pursued (for example, parents get upset that their child wants to become an actor instead of a doctor); the allocation of resources such as money or time (for example, group members differ on how to spend the advertising dollar); decisions to be made (for example, some people want a holiday party and others want a cash bonus); or behaviors that are considered appropriate or desirable by one person but inappropriate or undesirable by the other (for example, two people disagree over whether one of them was flirting or drinking or not working at full speed).

As these examples illustrate, interpersonal and small group conflict occurs when people:

• are interdependent; what one person does has an effect on the other

person.

• perceive their goals to be incompatible; if one person's goal is achieved,

the other's cannot be (for example, if one person wants to buy a new car

and the other person wants to save the money for a house).

• see each other as interfering with the attainment of their own goals.

Myths about Conflict

Conflict is a part of every interpersonal relationship – of relationships between parents and children, brothers and sisters, friends, lovers, coworkers. If it isn't, then the interaction is probably dull, irrelevant, or insignificant. Conflict seems inevitable.

It's not so much conflict that creates problems as the way in which you approach and deal with the conflict. Some ways of approaching conflict can resolve difficulties and actually improve a relationship. Other ways can hurt the relationship; they can destroy self-esteem, create bitterness, and foster suspicion. Your task, therefore, is not to try to create relationships or groups that will be free of conflict but rather to learn appropriate and productive ways of managing conflict.

Similarly, it's not the conflict (the disagreement itself) that will reveal your negative side but the fight strategies you use. Thus, if you attack other people, use force, or use personal rejection or manipulation, you will reveal your negative side. But in fighting you can also reveal your positive self – your willingness to listen to opposing points of view, your readiness to change unpleasant behaviors, your willingness imperfection in others.