A very long root.

An Irishman had a toothache, so he went to the dentist’s to have his tooth pulled out. But as soon as he was in the armchair, he thought the dentist was going to hurt him very much and he would not open his mouth.

Seeing this, the dentist pricked his leg with a pin, and when the man opened his mouth to cry out, he pulled out his tooth.

“I didn’t hurt you as much as you thought, did I?” asked the dentist.

“No, you didn’t,” answered the Irishman putting his hand on the place where he had been pricked, “but I didn’t think that the root of my tooth went down as ear as that.”

What the doctor wrote.

I remember going to the British Museum one day to read up the treatment for some illness of which I had a touch. I got down the book and read all I came to read and then, in an unthinking moment, I turned the pages and began to study illnesses generally. I forget which the first I read about was but before I had looked down the list of symptoms, I was sure I had it.

Then I turned over the pages again. I came to typhoid fever-read the symptoms-discovered that I had typhoid fever-wondered what else I had and so started to read alphabetically. I read through the twenty-six letters and found out that I had all the illnesses.

Then I wondered how long I had to live. I tried to examine myself. I felt my pulse. I could not at first feel my pulse at all. Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to start off. I took out my watch and timed it. I made it a hundred and forty-seven to the minute. I tried to feel my heart. But I could not feel or hear anything…I went to my medical man. He is an old friend of mine, and feels my pulse, and talks about the weather, all for nothing, when I think I am ill.

The doctor looked at me and said, “Well, what’s the matter with you?”

I said, “I shall not take your time, dear boy, with telling you what the matter with me is. Life is short and you might die before I have finished.

And I told him everything.

Then he opened me and looked down me. After that he sat down and wrote a prescription, and gave it to me, and I put it in my pocket and went out.

I did not open it. I took it to the nearest chemist’s and handed it back. He said he didn’t keep it.

I said, “Are you a chemist?”

He said, “I am a chemist, not a co-operative store and family hotel combined”.

I read the prescription.

“Beefsteak, with

a bottle of beer ever six hours.

A ten-mile walk every morning.

Going to bed at 11 every night.

And don’t fill up your head with things you don’t understand.”

(After Jerome K. Jerome)

No Smoking Day.

Giving up smoking is a good idea – in fact, it is one of the most important things that someone can do to improve his or her health. I recommended having a No Smoking Day. And it took place at the end of April at my school. But we found that nothing unusual resulted. Nothing had changed – smokers think that a lack of nicotine means that they are more likely to have problems at school or at home if they try to give up smoking.

As you see, some of my friends think that No Smoking Day could damage one’s health.

***

A man comes into a doctor’s office. He coughs. The doctor tells him that the cough sounds quite bad. He says he wants to listen to the man’s chest and lungs. After the doctor has finished checking those, he takes the man’s blood pressure and feels his pulse. Then the doctor says that the man should take regular exercise because it is good for his health. He also says that if the man stops smoking immediately it is going to make him healthier. After that the doctor takes his patient’s temperature and gives him medicine take three times a day.

Suddenly the man says that he came not about his cough, but about his left foot which hurts every time he walks. The man says he has had this pain for about a week. The doctor examines his left food and says he doesn’t it is broken. He says it is probably because of the man’s shoe which may be too small for his foot. The man tells the doctor he is silly, says good-bye and leaves the office.

***

Last Saturday my friends and I went to the cinema. The film was quite good and exciting, but it was rather cold in the cinema. Besides, when we were going home it started raining. When I came back home I felt something was wrong with me. I had a headache and a sore throat and it was difficult to swallow, I understood I had fallen ill.

When our family doctor came the next morning she asked me if t felt bad. I couldn’t say anything, I just nodded. I really didn’t fell well-I was sneezing and coughing all the time, and I could hardly move my tongue. After the doctor examined me she told me not to worry too much. She said there was nothing serious wro0ng with me-just a bad cold. After that she prescribed some medication for my sore throat, told me to drink hot milk with honey and said I would recover soon-if I followed hear advice.