Music — the Life Saver

Once Mark Twain was sitting at a dinner party next to a well-known pianist. Mark Twain said to him:

“It will interest you as a pianist that my life was once saved by a piano when I was a boy. We had a terrible flood in my hometown. The water even reached the upper storey where I was with my father. Without hesitation my father sat on a big chest of drawers, and floating it down the river reached safely the bank”.

“Well, and you?” asked the pianist.

“I accompanied him on the piano”.

He never Heard Her in “Carmen”

Once Mark Twain was invited to the opera. He accepted the invitation. The box where he had a seat belonged to a very rich man. The rich man and his wife were very proud because all their friends saw the famous writer in their own box. During the performance the man and his wife talked all the lime. They talked loudly and so much that it was often impossible for Mark Twain to listen to the opera.

Mark Twain was very much annoyed. He liked music and always enjoyed listening to the opera.

He realized that neither the rich man nor his wife understood music and they came to the opera just to show that the famous writer was a friend of theirs.

Mark Twain was very sorry he had accepted their invitation. That was very foolish of him. Still there was no way out. He had to wait until the end.

Towards the end of the performance the rich lady turned to Mark Twain and smiled. She was quite sure that the famous writer had enjoyed the opera. So she invited Mark Twain to listen to another opera. She told him that she and her husband would be happy to see him in their box the following Friday. She added that “Carmen” would be on.

The great writer expressed his gratitude for the invitation and said:

“That’ll be fine. I never heard you in “Carmen” ”.

One More Funny Story

One of Mark Twain’s hobbies was fishing. He went fishing whenever he had a chance, even in the closed season, when fishing was not allowed anywhere in lakes and rivers. Like all fishermen, he sometimes invented stories about the number of fish he caught.

One hot day during the closed season Mark Twain was fishing as usual, under a low bridge. A man who was walking across the bridge happened to notice Mark Twain and began to watch him. At last he asked: “Have you caught many fish?”

“Not yet”, Mark Twain answered. “I have only just begun. But yesterday I caught thirty great big fish here.”

“You were very lucky”, the man said. “Do you know who I am?”

“No”, Mark Twain said. “I don’t think I ever happened to meet you before”.

“I’m the fishing inspector in this place. Do you know that this is the closed season?”

Mark Twain thought quickly. He understood how foolish he had been. “Do you know who I am?” he asked aloud.

“No, of course not”, answered the inspector.

“I am the biggest liar on the Mississippi”, Mark Twain told him.

Ex.2. Read the stories again.

Say which of them is a good proof of “A wise man will hit at the edge of his wit.”

Ex.3. Tell one of the stories so as

1. to make your classmates listen to you willingly;

2. to make them guess the story you are telling;

…

Ex.4. Explain your choice.

Ex.5. Choose

1. one of the stories for perfect reading;

2. another for equivalent translation.

Ex.6. Learn one of the stories by heart. Act it out.

Ex.7. Explain your choice.

Ex.8. Match the two halves.

1. A Journey with Mark Twain.	A. He understood how foolish he had been.
	B. The friend agreed.
	C. “Well, and you?”
2. Music – the lifesaver.	D. “That is nothing.”
	E. “I don’t think I ever happened to meet you
	before.”
3. Mark Twain’s Jokes.	F. He said that the air in the mountains was
	very clear.
	G. “I will tell you what we’ll do.”
4. He never heard her in “Carmen”.	H. He accepted the invitation.
	I. “Don’t hurry.”
	J. … live a happy and peaceful life.
5. One of Mark Twain’s Jokes.	K. We had a terrible flood in my hometown.
	L. That was very foolish of him.
	M. Forget it.
6. Mark Twain and the Guard.	N. … so that he could go to that shop…
	O. “I know,” the man said.
	P. So the great humorist sent him such a
7. He doesn’t say.	letter: …
	Q. “I have never heard so many very funny
	stories.”
8. Mark Twain and his Doubles.	R. Twain opened the book and read the last
	pages carefully.
	S. When he opened his eyes it was morning.
9. Mark Twain’s Lecture.	T. He got to the town in the afternoon…
	U. Twain received many letters…
	V. … his mother was trying to make him
10. Mark Twain’s Answer.	quiet.
	W. He did not like talking to people he didn’t
	know…
11. An Absent-minded Writer.	X. … who wrote down everything he said.
	Y. The man took a city map and showed him
	where to go.
12. One more funny story.	Z. … and Mark Twain went up to him.

Ex.9. Consult the texts to make sure if you’ve done Ex.8. correctly.

Ex.10. Read the following story attentively and try to