Seek and express empathy, not sympathy

In America, people feel no shame when talking about the fact they are seeing a counsellor or psychiatrist. Oddly, revealing one’s emotional distress almost seems to be a status symbol. In Australia, an ethic of “no worries” reins. Irrespective of whether they have just lost two legs in a car accident or their business has just collapsed, Australians try to maintain a facade of cheerfulness. If you feel the need to talk about your problems, it is more polite to try to turn the problem into a funny story.

The reasons for no worries mantra is best understood by appreciating that Australia was built by victims. The first of these victims were Convicts who over an 80 year period, suffered some of the worst human rights violations the world has ever seen. After World War II, Australia became a new home for war, political and economic refugees.

As victims, these groups did not want sympathy from others, nor were they prepared to give it to others. When recording his experiences, the Convict J.F Mortlcok wrote: “In Australia, silent composure under suffering is strictly prescribed by convict etiquette.”

Sometimes these victims were willing to give and receive empathy. The melancholic music of Convicts was the first of such means to express empathy. In modern times, empathy is expressed at ANZAC Day Dawn Services and when reciting the Ode in RSLs. (support organisation for men and women who have served or are serving in the Australian Defence Force (ADF).

If you consider yourself to be a victim, bear in mind that Australia is a country where respect is given to underdogs²⁵ who stand up for themselves. The victim that doesn’t stand up for themselves, or needs someone else to fight for their cause, will gain no respect.

Explanatory notes

1. bludge [blʌʤ] – бездельничать, нахлебничать

2. blunt [blʌnt] – грубоватый; прямой, резкий

3. warrant ['wɔr(ə)nt] – гарантировать, обеспечивать (кому-л. что-л.)

4. egalitarianism [ɪֽgælɪ'tɛərɪənɪz(ə)m] – эгалитаризм (концепция всеобщего равенства прав или благосостояния как принцип организации общественной жизни)

5. upstart ['ʌpstɑ:t] – выскочка

6. buffoon [bə'fu:n] шут

7. salient ['seɪlɪənt] – заметный; яркий, бросающийся в глаза

8. struggling ['strʌglɪŋ] – в бедственном положении

9. digger ['dɪgə] – австралийский или новозеландский солдат (во время Первой и Второй мировой войны)

10. irrespective – [ֽɪrɪ'spektɪv] – не зависимый от (of)

11. to bend the rules – нарушать правил

12. foster ['fɔstə] – способствовать, содействовать, продвигать

13. lionize ['laɪənaɪz] – поднимать шум вокруг кого-л.

14. take the piss (слэнг) – насмехаться, высмеивать, издеваться

15. booze (разг.) [bu:z] – выпивка, спиртное

16. adage ['ædɪʤ] – поговорка

17. stipulate ['stɪpjəleɪt] – ставить условием

18. pavlova (австрал.) [pæv'ləuvə] – торт со взбитыми сливками и фруктами

19. fair dinkum (австрал., разг.) – честно, серьёзно, по-настоящему

20. toiler ['tɔɪlə] – работяга, труженик

21. vilify ['vɪlɪfaɪ] – поносить, чернить (кого-л.)

22. carcass ['kɑ:kəs] – туша (животного)

23. spin doctor – менеджер рекламы

24. plonk (брит.; разг.) [plɔŋk] – дешёвое вино

25. underdog ['ʌndədɔg] – неудачник; аутсайдер