10.4.2 Attractiveness and culture.

Cultural differences are documented in the consideration of attractiveness in a potential mate in some research (e.g. Wheeler & Kim, 1997). The saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” holds some validity as culture affects aspects of physical attractiveness. However, there is a growing body of literature that also supports the universality of certain physical attractiveness traits. When groups of cross-cultural judges were asked to evaluate the faces of European Americans, Asian, and Hispanic stimuli persons the results yielded very high correlations between the judges in attractiveness ratings. Judgments of attractiveness were based on similar facial characteristics in all cultures evaluating the eyes, nose, and smiles. A meta-analysis that examined the results of 1800 articles supported cross-cultural similarity in physical attractiveness ratings both within and across cultures suggesting universal standards for beauty and attractiveness (Langlois, Kalakanis, Rubenstein, Larson, Hallam, & Smoot, 2000). The similarity ratings may however be partially a response to the ubiquitous modeling of women in Western movies now viewed around the world, and the increased convergence of norms for a variety of behaviors and perceptions including the evaluation of physical attractiveness.

The universal norms of attractiveness appear to be related to evolutionary gender differences in the preferences for mates. For example Buss (1994) in his comparative study of attractiveness in 37 cultures found support for interesting differences in gender preferences. In nearly all cultures as we noted above females appreciated more the financial factors in choosing mates than males did, and consistently evaluated more highly the industriousness and ambition in prospective male partners. On the other hand for males the physical attractiveness of potential mates was more important than it was for females. Since the comparative gender agreement across cultures was so high Buss suggested a universal basis for mate preference related to different gender based evolutionary pressures experienced by males and females. On the other hand social constructivists researchers emphasizing the affects of culture found that despite the noted gender differences there are also gender similarities in mate preference. For example both genders appreciate honesty, kindness and a sense of humor in prospective mates (Goodwin, 1990). The emphasis on culture also explain the aforementioned cultural differences in perception of attractiveness, however the evolutionary pressures are probably more dominant in the final analysis leading men to appreciate female beauty that signal fertility, and women to look for the financial security that ensures the future of their children in mates.

10.4.3 The future of love and marriage.

In all cultures men and women have developed love relationships that historically included marriage. However, changes in gender relations that have occurred in the industrialized countries over the past several decades. It is now common for partners to live together without marriage in Europe and the United States as the formal endorsement of society seem less important and sexual satisfaction is offered without commitment. These attitudes have created problematic situations in creating many single parent families led by women who often struggle economically in the absence of a father figure. Finding and marrying a mate has been historically important since it helped create a support system that assisted both partners in the struggle of life.

However, attitudes toward love also vary by culture. Although love is universal it is valued differentially by culture and is complex in its many forms (Hatfield & Rapson, 1996). Actual commitment to love relationships also varies by country. In one study French and American participants rated love commitment more highly compared to Japanese respondents. A key factor in love commitment is whether society is organized individually and around the nuclear family, or is composed of extended kinship networks. Love is valued highly in individualistic cultures where there are few extended family ties, perhaps because in these societies the individual really has to rely on the love relationship and mate for economic security (Simmons, vom Kolke, & Shimizu, 1986). However, since women have found economic independence in many societies the mutual support function of marriage may have less relevance to today’s relationships.

Nevertheless most people in the world still get married suggesting that there is a universal desire to make such a commitment. Almost 90 % of people in the world are in relationships described as married with supportive mutual interdependence (Schmitt, Alcalay, Allensworth, Allik, Ault, & Austers, 2004). However, there are cultural variations in the role of love in marriage. In some cultures there is pressure to have a woman marry before a certain age to be followed by having babies and building a family. In the U.S. that pressure has decreased in recent decades and women and men have delayed marriage or have opted to have children without marriage. The lack of commitment typified in these modern relationships is in stark contrast with the strict norms of Muslim countries or those societies that rely on tradition as a source of normative compliance. In some societies romantic attachment is the only reason to progress toward marriage, whereas in other cultures marriage is seen as a strategic alliance between families where love is secondary to fulfilling expectations of the extended family. Individualistic culture considers love an essential precondition for marriage. If love disappears that condition alone is seen as sufficient to justify divorce (Levine, Saro, Hashimoto, & Verma, 1995). In the traditional cultures arranged marriages are the norm a practice that goes back thousands of years. In the case of arranged marriage it is really two extended families that are getting married rather than a singular union of two people. Nevertheless because of modernization and globalization potential mates now refuse to marry in many traditional societies unless the commitment is based on self-selection and romantic love (Arnett, 2001).

The possibility of partners from different cultures falling in love and marrying has increased markedly due to globalization. These intercultural relationships face many potential conflicts since partners may have very different views about marriage and varying attitudes towards the role of love. All marriages require adjustments since even partners from the same cultural backgrounds may have different expectations. However, when in addition to these more normal within culture conflicts cultural distinctions and values must also be taken into account the marriage face additional problems. For example the expression of love is not universally the same in all cultures. Also the specific characteristics of the marriage commitment may vary by society, and how to raise children may also bring conflict (Corttrell, 1990). Especially difficult is the balance that must be achieved if one partner is raised with traditional expectations, and the other comes from an egalitarian culture. The traditional partner could view marriage as an extension of kinship groups, whereas the egalitarian partner may be content with his/her nuclear family. In a successful intercultural marriage the partners must be willing to compromise and use creative approaches that support the integration of the family unit. For example if different holidays are celebrated a creative solution is to respect all holidays from the two cultures. Ultimately whether “love conquers all” depend on the willingness to find compromises, and the commitment of the relationship. Negotiations about potential conflicts should of course be discussed long before marriage with the optimistic hope that there is a solution for all problems.