10.4.1 Mate selection.

While we often focus on differences between cultures there are also many similarities in how men and women respond and behave cross-culturally. Attractiveness in women is associated with kindness, understanding, emotional health and intelligence in a variety of cultures. Women tend to get more distressed a similar reaction that occurs across all cultures when their male partners kiss another woman. The reason for the distress is the same for women everywhere because kissing represents a higher level of emotional commitment in women than in men. Flirtation also appears to be ubiquitous in all cultures as a preliminary step in courtship and mate selection (Aune & Aune, 1994). A study of 33 countries showed similarities in the preference for characteristics of potential mates. For example, men universally prefer physical attractiveness (that signal fertility) and females value financial stability and achievements (that protect potential offspring), (Buss, 1994). However, there are also cross-cultural differences to note. For example in some cultures same and cross-sex touching are entirely normal, whereas in other cultures they are taboo. Two Arab men walking hand in hand in their countries simply manifest a common tie or friendship, but in the U.S. such behavior would likely be considered homosexual.

Differences in sexual behavior are thought to originate in adaptive pressures from our common evolution that produced different strategies for men and women who are unconsciously motivated by the need to pass genes to the next generation. Men seek out a variety of young fertile partners whose youth and health support the impression of successful reproduction. On the other hand women are interested in the survival of their offspring and therefore are more interested in stable and monogamous relationships with men who can support their children.

This pattern of fidelity distinctions appears universally. Furthermore, there are also gender differences in jealousy that are ubiquitous in all societies. Sexual infidelity is the result of a lover having multiple partners, whereas emotional infidelity occurs when the partner establishes strong emotional bonds with another person. Both types of infidelity bring about jealousy in both men and women, but the gender difference is pronounced in the greater jealousy produced by the woman’s sexual infidelity in men, and the more powerful jealousy found in women produced by the emotional infidelity of men (Fernandez, Sierra, Zubeuidat, & Vera-Villarroel, 2006). For both genders the logical explanation is evolutionary. Sexual infidelity in women threatens a man’s ability for reproductive success and carries the further possibility of using resources to support another man’s offspring. Emotional infidelity in men threatens a woman’s ability to secure the well-being of her children, and the possibility that the man would not to be present in the relationship to lend economic support.

Norms for sexual behavior varies across the world especially with regard to premarital sexual behavior and homosexuality (Widmer, Treas, & Newcomb, 1998). As we observed chastity is valued very highly in many non-western cultures, whereas in western European countries and North America premarital sexual behavior produces little or no negative evaluations. However, cultural variables reflecting stress and economic insecurity affect sexual behavior within marriages. Research shows that economic frustrations and having few resources are related to insecurity in romantic relationships and counter intuitively to higher birth rates. Typically, when countries become more secure economically fertility rates drop (Schmitt, Alcalay, Allensworth, Allik, Ault, & Austers, 2004).

The affluence of a society also affects the relative acceptability of homosexuality. A large scale study carried out in 24 countries examined attitudes toward homosexuality, extramarital sex, premarital and teen sexual behavior. Results indicated that premarital sex is broadly accepted today, however the samples showed less acceptance of extramarital and teen sex (Widmer, Treas, & Newcomb, 1998). Homosexuality was found to be more acceptable in industrialized and affluent cultures (Inglehart, 1998). Some sexual norms are universal however, including the common taboo on incest (although the definition of incest may vary widely), and the rejection of adultery that is universally condemned. Finally, we can state with some certainty that sexual norms are changing in response to the pressures of globalization, and as the world becomes more homogeneous so will sexual behavior and norms.