Text 18 кеер anger under control

1. Read the text and make notes on the topics discussed. Compare your notes with a partner.

We all realize that anger is harmful to our children and most parents try their hardest to keep anger under control. But in most instances, the capacity to restrain anger is limited, and parents suddenly become overwhelmed by it. Anger is а tremendous weight and some time or the other we get crushed by it - it becomes too heavy. Then anger strikes hard in spite of every good intention, parents scream and yell at those to whom they have devoted all their interest and love.

Anger is not merely а misdemeanour but а crime. In the average home there's always the probability of а sudden f1are-up when tempers let loose. Tensions are bound to burst at some time or the other. What's requires are very definite methods and procedures that will reduce tension and therefore avoid flare-ups.

We have to accept the fact that whatever the circumstances а time will certainly come when а child will make us angry. So we just have to make а definite plan to study the reasons for such tensions and then work things out in such а manner that such tensions do not arise. This is too important а matter to leave to chance.

Don't mothers loose her temper. In the heat of the moment she said things which would never have been said in an atmosphere of calm and quiet.

The first step in handling your anger or your feelings is to say them aloud. Just say that you are angry. Identify the reason for your anger. Just that. No general statements about what you think about people and their characteristics: such as how lazy, selfish and thoughtless people are. If you just do this, the chances are that а flare-up and its awful time-consuming aftermath will be avoided.

From "Children: How to Manage Them"

2. Try to remember the following words:

harmful	шкідливий
to try one's hardest	старатися з усіх сил
to restrain	стримувати
to overwhelm	охопити, переповняти (про почуття)
to crush	розчавити
to scream	верещати
to yell	волати
merely	просто
misdemeanor	погана поведінка
flare-up	спалах
temper	характер, норов
to loose	давати волю, розпускати
bound	неодмінний, обов'язковий
to burst	вибухати
to leave to а chance	покладатись на волю випадку
in the heat of the moment	згарячу
thoughtless	дурний, нерозумний

3. Compose dialogues on the situations described in the text.

4. Compose a short plan of the article. Exchange your plans with the partner.

5. Retell the text according to your plan.

Text 19 How to manage children

1. Read and translate the text.

Bribes

А bribe is useless when dealing with children. It only encourages them to do something for а short while; it will never inspire them to long-term efforts. The very wording of а bribe - "If you do this ...” implies that we do not expect the child to do it on а long-term basis but only till the cake is eaten. After that the probability is that he will s1ip back to his usual pattern. Instead of а bribe why not try а gift, showing appreciation of effort and of work we11 done. This can be very rewarding.

Making Promises

Relations with children should be based on trust. It's entirely wrong to make promises to children or demand promises from them. It implies that they will only do things properly after they have given а promise . In fact, it encourages children to behave badly if they have not given а promise. Promises, like bribes, are а bad way of dealing with children on а long-term basis.

Sarcasm

"It's surprising that you have а head on your shoulders. It hasn't fallen off. You seem to forget everything. You'll even forget to wake up one morning."

Much more than а direct rebuke, sarcasm infuriates children. It makes them completely irrational and they direct all their energies to planning counter-attacks. They will be completely preoccupied with revenge fantasies. Sarcasm not only serves to deflate а child's-standing in his own eyes but in the eyes of his friends as well.

Shouting as bad as smacking children

Shouting at children can be as harmful as smacking them because it dents their self-esteem and causes feelings of insecurity.

An eight-year study of nursery age children in Denmark found that they saw little difference between verbal and physical violence. The majority of youngsters said they frequently felt adults were angry with them long after they had finished shouting. Children often felt upset even when parents and teachers did not think they had raised their voices.

Erik Sigsgaard, of the Danish Centre for Research in Institutions, who conducted the research, said punishing children was wrong because it damaged their self-respect. He advised parents to discipline children in а normal voice

To the average child his parents are kill-joys. They are always saying "No". No getting dirty, no jumping on the sofa, no running around naked, no hitting the little sister ... It's difficult to draw the line but wise parents must try, in as many ways as they can, to show their child that they are not kill-joys.

May be а sweet brought out of the pocket; the sudden flourish of а new toy or а rattle; the making of а comic face ... There are many other such touches that would help to show the child that his parent is human and likes а bit of fun.

From "Children: How to Manage Them"

2. Work in pairs. Discuss the information you have learned from the text with your partner.

3. Learn the words by heart:

Bribe	хабар, підкуп
to deal	мати справу (з кимось )
to encourage	заохочувати
to inspire	надихати
wording	формулювання
to imply	мати на думці
to slip back	поступово повернутись
pattern	манера поведінки
appreciation	висока оцінка
rewarding	корисний
trust	довіра
properly	як слід
you seem to forget	здається, ти забув
rebuke	докір
to infuriate	розлючувати
irrational	нерозсудливий
preoccupied	захоплений (думками)
revenge	помста
to deflate one's standing	принижувати. свою гідність
smack	ляскати, шльопати
dent	тут : пригнічувати
self-esteem	почуття власної гідності
kill-joy	буркотун
naked	голий
to draw the line	установити межу дозволеного
to bring out	виймати
flourish	замах
Touch	штрих

4. Ask your partner s opinion on the questions touched upon in the article.

5. What do you think the writer s main points are? Do you agree with him?