IV. Reaction

As already explained, I was shocked, surprised and taken aback. I tried to divert the attention away from myself by focusing back on her. And I really didn´t think she should have complimented my skin colour…or my looks – especially because she looks better herself, and her skin colour was nearly as fair as mine. So I tried to make her see this impression, but got to a more stunning point in the conversation by this attempt!

II. Reflect

__________________________________________________________________________________

I. Self-Explanation

She could be similar to myself in the sense that she does not know how to take a compliment and feels in a loss when it comes to responding to one…

Maybe she was just trying to be nice and make a good first impression…

My other idea would that she actually meant what she said (still stunning that she got my nationality right .. which I can only think was a more than lucky guess)! … but I hope that is not the case ;-)

II. Self-Reflection

I think I have a stronger reaction to this than most people, because the national culture of my home country forbids mentioning of skin colour (especially in connection to nationality) as well as of race or ethnicity (being ask to fill in my “ethnicity” in on questionnaires by my new University is a shock for me and I refuse every time!) Complimenting somebody to someone’s skin colour (unless it’s a beautiful summer-tan) is a complete no-go!

+ I cannot take any complements well…

III. Other-Reflection

The girl might have thought I was proud of being white or had a high degree of identification with my skin colour. I know that f.e. in India people are very careful not to expose their skin to the sun, because the ideal of beauty requires a very fair skin. I have heard similar things about East Asian countries. So maybe skin colour was very important to her.

III. Re-evaluate by critically reflecting with a Buddy

__________________________________________________________________________________

I. Buddy Reflection

• Stars are fair generally

• Traditional fair is considered beautiful

• No representative example

• She was giving a very sincere compliment

II. Personal Learning

Wen´s statement that: `no matter what the other background was, she was giving me a very great and sincere compliment´ made me aware that I might be a little bit to focused on the frame than on the actual picture. I have to admit that I was so taken aback, that I retreated mostly from the conversation after the incident. When I met her again a couple of days ago I tried to make up for that, because she had tried not to be anything but nice to me, but I somehow had still ended up labelling her as “weird” or at least as “unfamiliar with Western Culture” in my head.

Appendix 2. Intercultural Learning Journal (ILJ) – case 2

I. Report

___________________________________________________________________________

1. The Setting

Classroom, discussion of a group project for one of the modules

ii. Who was involved?

3 Chinese teammembers, one Carribian college and me, the researcher

iii. What happened?

I used more than one exclamation and question mark while commenting on a draft project. As a result, Chinese teammates blamed me for shouting on them in paper and pointing out their low writing skills.

iv. Reaction

I was frustrated because I did not want to offend anybody and tried to be friendly demonstrating my unofficial communication style.

II. Reflect

__________________________________________________________________________________

i. Self-Explanation

According to my BA monocultural team work experience, it was normal for my Russian university culture to write messages in any form (including smiles, many question or exclamation marks etc.).

ii. Self-Reflection

I did not take into consideration the importance of writing in an official style among classmates, so that overestimated the level of trust and understanding in our MSc team and behaved according to my BA experience.

iii. Other-Reflection

More than one question or exclamation mark is unacceptable in Chinese tradition of writing and means disrespect.

III. Re-evaluate by critically reflecting with a Buddy

__________________________________________________________________________________

i. Buddy Reflection

My Chinese flat mate explained me the Chinese writing tradition considering my behavior as potentially face-threatening, however, she admitted that it might not be a big problem among friends.

2. Personal Learning

It is important to be very accurate in written communication within a multicultural team. When the level of friendship and common understanding of politeness is unclear among team members, it is better use universal/ official communication style to avoid any tensions or open conflicts.

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