If she thinks I'm going to sit here, the girl thought, and listen, she's crazy. Not me. I'm going. I'll go straight away. She sat quite still. If I get up, she thought, I think I shall fall down.

"Really starving," Mrs. Victor went into an explanation of the word, moving slightly along the seat. "You know. Days without food."

"I know."

"I'm sick of food. Sick of it." Mrs. Victor began to explain who she was, how, being who she was, she had to attend din­ners, functions,¹' eating, always eating, eating until now, at last, she was utterly sick of eating. "Take last night. The dinner began at eight and we were still eating at half-past nine. Still eating!" The girl sat trying to think of something to say. She could think of nothing but her suspender belt. It felt loose on her body. It will fall off, she thought, if I move. I've altered the hooks ¹⁷ once already. I shall have to alter them again.

"First there was some special sort of cheese, Norwegian or something, on rye-biscuit. As if we needed that. Then soup, consommé ¹⁸ or crème,¹⁹ just the usual thing. Then fish. And that's how it went on. Duck, pheasant, chicken — and I was so sick of them I tried venison. Have you ever eaten venison? My husband was having it and he said I should try it. I couldn't eat it. I can't explain what it tastes like — but queer, somehow. You've never tried it?"

"No," the girl said, "I can't say I have."

"Don't."

I could eat an elephant, the girl thought. I could eat bacon-rind. She sat thinking of bacon-rind. People didn't eat it. They cut It off, but if you did fry it, it jumped in the frying-pan like snakes.

"If you multiply that by hundreds you'll see what I have to go through in a year," Mrs. Victor said.

Multiply it by hundreds. Like snakes. Snakes lay eggs, hundreds of eggs. The girl remembered going, long ago, to the Zoo, and then giving whole bananas to monkeys. It's not so bad, she thought. I had a banana yesterday. I made it last forty-three minutes. With luck I could make it last an hour.

."I've tried special baths. I've tried slimming creams, ²⁰ massage. I've tried everything." Mrs. Victor said, "It costs me a fortune. It's terrible. I used to be as thin as you."

It's no good, the girl thought, I've got to go ²¹ down to the post office. If Harry sends the money I shall know it's all right. If he doesn't send it I know I'm done. ²² Whatever happens, I've got to go down to the post office and see. I've got to be logical. I haven't a job. I've got to be logical. During the war we used to eat locust beans. ¹³ You never see them now. They said they had food value. We used to make them last a long time. That's what I want, something to last a long time.

"So I think there's nothing for it," Mrs. Victor said, "but to try simple starvation. I shall just starve and starve." She laughed a little. "After all it must be the oldest form of los­ing weight in the world."

The children had come very near, the gulls shrieking above the flurry of ducks, white bread and yellow bun-scraps flash­ing up in arcs against the bright sunshine.

"You see, it wears me out. Just sitting here now, I'm so hot I don't know what to do with myself. I'm all perspiration. I shall have to change everything when I get home."

A small child holding a round sugar-shining bun threw it into the water in one piece. "

"It's so humiliating. You see, don't you? Your friends, people staring at you. When you've been thin, when you've had a nice figure. You see, don't you?"

"I see," the girl said.

"I envy you," Mrs. Victor said.

Again the girl thought, if I get up I shall fall down. She stirred slightly, feeling the emptiness of her stomach send out fainting waves of weakness. Her mind slipped into sil­liness. If A has two shillings between her and the workhouse¹* and there's no letter at the post office how many bananas must A eat before A is dead?

On the edge of the lake a nurse stood on tip-toe and tried to regain the lost bun with the ferrule of a sunshade, regained it, and gave it back to the child. "Of course it's all right. Of course they'll eat it. They'll eat anything."

"I know my husband won't like it," Mrs. Victor said. "But I can't help it. He'll say think of my position and so on. But it's no use. I've got my own pride — I can't look at myself in the glass."

Now the small child had himself begun to eat the water- soaked bun, liking it. The nurse swooped down on him like a gull herself, snatching it away, startling him to tears.

"Why does she make that child cry? I can't stand children crying," Mrs. Victor said. "It gets on my nerves. People think because you're fat and easy going you've got no nerves. My nerves are all on edge." -⁸

The crying of the small child against the crying of the gulls made shrill discords. Nerves, the girl thought. Nerves. Somebody had said that to her.

"That child," Mrs. Victor said. "I can't stand it. Why does she make it cry like that?"

The child, holding his breath, had gone from crimson to faint purple in the face, in the fury of his frustration. "

The waves of torturing sound beat against the great cushion of Mrs. Victor's body and shook her nerves. She got up.

"It's no use, I shall have to go."

At that moment the nurse snatched up the child, put him irfto a large white perambulator, snatched the bun from his hands and threw it into the lake again. In a moment, as the perambulator moved off, the screams of the child began to die away.

"Well, that's better," Mrs. Victor said. "Even so, I think I must go."

I must go too, the girl thought. But if I get up I shall faint.

"Good-bye," Mrs. Victor held out her hand. "Think of me starving." She held in her large moist hand the girl's thin one. "Perhaps we shall meet again."

'"Good-bye," the girl said.

Mrs. Victor walked away along the edge of the lake. The girl sat staring at the water. Ducks and birds and light and bread revolved like a lucky wheel against the sun.

NOTES

1. to cut out (colloq.) — to stop doing or using something; e.g. He must cut out wine and rich food.

2. luncheon — a formal word for lunch (a meal taken be­tween breakfast and dinner)

3. two hundred and thirteen pounds — about ninety sev­en kilogrammes (pound — a measure of weight = 12 ounces or 453,6 grams)

4. saw the hands of the bathroom weight-clock revolve — видела, как вращаются стрелки часов в ванной комнате

5. she felt like weeping — she had a wish to weep (See p. 67 Note 13)

6. " bounced and dumped — moved up and down as she walked (Russ. шла подпрыгивающей походкой)

7. neat — nice in shape; e.g. She has a neat figure and shapely legs.

8. to crumble bread (buns) — to rub bread (buns) into crumbs (Russ. крошить)

9. She bumped and panted past, out of range of guils and children —She moved past, bumping and panting, so that she should not see the gulls and the children. (Russ. Она прошла мимо... , колыхаясь и тяжело дыша)

10. twopenny chair ['tapni| — a chair you paid twopenny for (public seats were free, you didn't have to pay for them)

11. if anything — пожалуй

12. stitched ladders — поднятые и закрепленные петли (a ladder in the stocking — спущенная петля на чулке; to stitch — to fasten with stitches, to sew. Memorize the prov­erb: A stitch in time saves nine.)

13. There's thinness and thinness.— A person may be thin in different ways; e.g. He is fond of music. But there's mu­sic and music.

14. I can't hear for the birds.— I can't hear because of the birds.

15. pare down — cut so as to make a thing smaller. The word is used here to emphasize the thinness of the girl's face, the sharpness of its features. (Note: to pare nails, apples, pears, etc.; but to peel potatoes, oranges)

16. function — a public ceremony, a formal social meeting, often a public function, a social function such as a banquet, a formal reception, etc. (Russ. прием, торжественный вечер)

17. I've altered the hooks — я переставила крючки (ушила пояс); to alter means "to change slightly"; e.g. Your skirt is too large for you, it must be altered. But Vm going to change my clothes (i.e. put on something else).

18. consommé (Fr.) — a clear soup made usually from a com­bination of veal or chicken and other meat (Russ. бульон)

19. ^. crème (Fr.) — суп-пюре

20. slimming creams — cosmetics that is supposed to make a person grow thinner

21. I've got to go — I have to (I must) go

22. " I'm done (colloq.)— I'm lost, ruined (Russ. мне конец, крышка)

23. locust beans — плоды рожкового дерева, растущего в Северной Америке

24. in one piece — unbroken (Russ. целиком)

25. If A has two shillings between her and the workhouse — If A has two shillings to keep him from the workhouse (i.e. when the money is spent A will have to starve or else go to the workhouse)

26. I can't help It.— I can do nothing about It. (Russ. ничего не могу поделать). Here help means "avoid, prevent"; e.g. 1) She couldn't help thinking about it all the time. 2) He is extremely fond of her and forgives her everything, he can't help it.

27. easy-going — said about a person who doesn't trouble much about things, who takes them easy

28. my nerves are on edge — I am easily irritated and ex­cited (Russ. меня всё раздражает, у меня нервы не в порядке)

29. frustration — failure, defeat, disappointment; to frus­trate — to prevent smb. from doing smth.; e.g. He was frus­trated in his plans.