- •The Growing chapter one
- •It’s not a question, and everyone realizes it.
- •I’m not gonna look. I won’t and you can’t make me.
- •It is waiting for her at the bridge.
- •In a related story (a 14) the Palace had "no comment" to Tonight Show host Jay Leno’s remark that His Majesty King Charles is an early, unmarketable Westerhaus test model.
- •I’m going to die.
- •It is what she had intended to do in any case. She had not expected to have allies. Koda nods. "Count me in."
- •In an automatic reflex, Dakota looks over at the nightstand, but of course, the clock that stands there is blank without the electricity needed to run it.
- •I have Asi.
- •I have summoned her here. Watch, and see.
- •It’s Maggie’s turn to sigh. “Much as I don’t like it, I think I’m going to have to split them into smaller squads.”
- •It is not what she has forgotten. It is who she has left behind.
- •It has been so quiet for the last several miles that Kirsten starts at the sound of Micah’s voice. “Pardon? Dragons?”
- •It is much too big to be a fox.
- •It does not explain the familiarity.
- •It is a dangerous mind trap when there is no hope, and Kirsten only manages to scramble out when she notices the shining silver bands around the necks of what she now recognizes to be androids.
- •It is not disabled, certainly not destroyed. Its logic chains have simply returned a null set upon evaluating the possible success of further resistance.
- •I am not strong enough. Not wise enough.
- •I will go back, she says.
- •It doesn’t have to be that way, Little k. Her father’s voice intrudes into her thoughts, frustrating her with its always maddening logic. Nothing’s keeping you locked inside. Nothing except you.
- •It is a peaceful time that appeals to her need for solitude.
- •It’s time to buck it up and call a spade a spade, little k.
- •Ithanchan winan. The thought comes unbidden. This woman is a chief.
- •It seems a lifetime but is perhaps five minutes later that Kirsten raises a hand to her earpiece. “They’re here.”
- •Instantly serious, Maggie snaps, “And—“
- •If she only knew how.
- •Item: Article 120. Rape and Carnal Knowledge
- •Item: Article 128 Assault
- •Item: Article 81. Conspiracy.
- •In Russian.
- •Is there still a United States? If so, is there a Constitution?
- •Insh’allah.
- •It is dismissal. Maggie rises, snapping her attaché case shut. "Thank you for your time, General."
- •It does, though only briefly, and she feels almost faint with relief as it passes on, leaving her untouched.
- •In those eyes, she can see visions; bits and pieces of his life, and hers, and the bond that draws them together closer than kin.
- •It is the silence during a gathering storm. "Fine! You want to kill yourself? Be my guest. I hope you have fun doing it."
- •It is over in an instant of an instant, but when she opens her eyes, she knows that she has been forever changed. Koda is smiling at her, a sweet, tender smile filled with so much, with…everything.
- •It comes, then; a deep, Caribbean blue that nurtures and soothes, and settles over her, leaving nothing within untouched.
- •I’m in love with her.
- •In plain language, Manny had potted the bastard right between the eyes, blowing his brains out. The said bastard had been dead before he hit the ground.
- •Instinctively responding to Dakota’s tone, Shannon relaxes, slumping against the wall and breathing deeply, as if she’s just come out of a trance.
- •In this life, in the next. For all time.
- •In the silence of her mind, a wolf howl rises to the floating moon.
- •If he were right. . . And it seems he is, though not in the way he expected.
- •It had been the third suicide in as many weeks, and people—too many people—were looking to her for answers she didn’t have.
- •It takes twenty minutes, with much grinding of gears and spinning of wheels, but Andrews jerks the pickup to a stop just on top of the slope and just short of the trees.
- •It is nothing, however, to the beatific expression on Manny’s face, framed in the rear-view mirror. "Good bread, good meat," he says reverently. "Good God, let’s eat."
- •Very gently she says, “It’s not going to be the same, no. In some ways, it may be better. Or there may be no one left to care. We just don’t know yet.”
- •Very gently she says, “It’s not going to be the same, no. In some ways, it may be better. Or there may be no one left to care. We just don’t know yet.”
- •I wonder. . . .
- •It is only then that she notices the frightful cold pressed against her right side, melded to her like a block of ice that has melted and refrozen.
- •It is a tone she well remembers, and instinctively heeding it, she begins to do as ordered. After a couple of spoonfuls, however, she pauses, the soup sitting heavy in her belly. “Ate, I….”
- •It is a long almost. But when she walks through the front door, into Asi’s exuberant greeting and Dakota’s arms, she is as well as she has ever been in her life.
- •If they survive this battle, their first priority must be to make contact with other surviving communities and make alliance with them.
- •If her plan works, he will not need to.
- •Voices come to her on the wind of her passing, but she does not heed them. "Surrender," she says.
- •Intolerable.
- •It is only when the dynamic duo has left the office and the door closes quietly behind them that she lets the smile bloom fully over her face. With a jaunty little whistle, she turns back to work.
- •I miss him, she says without sound.
- •It's not a question, and she doesn't have it within her to demur. Not now. Instead, she nods.
- •It is a better one to live.
- •I am on your ground, Igmu-tanka. Teach me patience.
- •It is what she does not know that frightens her. "All right!" she shouts, stepping up to the crest of the ridge. "Move out!"
- •I’m hallucinating.
- •It is over.
- •In the guardshack above, Kirsten’s jaws clench tighter and a thick vein throbs to prominence at her temple.
- •Very carefully, she lets go of Simmons' gun, handing it to Koda. She meets her lover's eyes. "Don't worry. I'm not going to give him anything."
- •In its wake, a silence so profound that not even the ever-present wind soughing through the boughs of the large pines surrounding them can penetrate, descends, and Kirsten shivers.
- •I’d kill for a hot bath. No, not kill. Maybe maim somebody, though. Starting with Hunk-boy here.
- •It is either dry humor or stupidity; Koda opts for the former. "We aren’t. We are hungry, though. Chasing that antelope right into your sights was hard work."
- •I made it, though. Made it without help.
- •I would know you in the silence between the stars. The thought is her own, and not. And with it comes another. I see you in the darkness, like a flash of lightning. And the darkness cannot hide you.
- •In the west, where the stone holds a raven’s wing and a bowl of Kirsten’s irises and gentians, another priestess raises her hands and makes the invocation.
- •Ina Maka, Koda prays as the women disperse to feast and celebrate. Give us strength and wisdom to do what we must do. Let the death end. Let the life come forth again.
- •It is not a small honor, and Koda says quietly. "Thank you. But we can’t stay."
- •It is that tone, even more than her words, that confuses him and causes his steps to slow. "You wouldn’t…."
- •In the end, it is mercifully easy. Where you go, I go, she thinks, lowering the rifle and setting it on the cold, gray floor.
- •It ends here, she thinks, opening her eyes to the still monotonous view of the security screens. It all ends here.
- •It will not stop them. It will force them to break the door or go around the building to the other stairwell, and that will buy her time. Buy Kirsten time.
- •Venous blood.
- •Ina Maka says, "Every soul that passes from the Earth comes to Me. Not all come here, to this place—only My chosen ones. But for them, as for the others, a reckoning must be made. You know this."
- •I can die when I get outside.
- •Virgilius’ termination had been evidence of Kirsten’s success. This is confirmation. "You did it," Koda breathes, marveling. "It’s over."
It is the silence during a gathering storm. "Fine! You want to kill yourself? Be my guest. I hope you have fun doing it."
Kirsten shoots to her feet as the door slams once again. Wasting no time, she shoots around the desk and out into the short hallway in time to see Dakota disappear into the bedroom. She stares after her for a long moment, undecided, then turns the other way and trots outside. "Maggie! Wait!"
With exaggerated movements, Maggie slows, stops, and turns. "What?"
"I…heard the argument…at least part of it. What’s going on? What’s wrong?" Kirsten comes to a stop before the older woman, feeling the anger radiating off of her slim form.
"What happened last night?"
"Excuse me?" Kirsten asks, brought up short by the apparent non-sequitor
"Last night. I know you followed her out of the gates, and I know you came back with a wolf pup. What happened in between those two events?"
Kirsten ponders the question, unsure how much to reveal of the evening’s proceedings.
Maggie sees the hesitation and throws up an elegant hand. "Never mind. I don’t need to know the particulars. It’s just…I’m afraid for her." Her gaze is intent, beseeching. "It’s like someone ripped out her heart and put a stone in its place. She’s been like this all day. No matter what I do, I can’t get through to her."
"There’s something more, though," Kirsten intones, needing to get to the meat of the matter as quickly as possible. She senses time is definitely of the essence here.
With a heavy sigh, Maggie nods, proud shoulders slumped against the heavy weight they carry. "Yeah. Your friends—Franz and Anna, is it?—they remembered the name of the clinic where they were housed. Dakota’s gotten it into her head that she’s going to go up there, alone mind you, and bust everybody out like in some goddamn Wild West shoot-em-up movie or something. Fuck!" She drags a hand through her short-cropped hair. "It’s suicide. Goddamn suicide." The beseeching gaze comes again, mixed with a tiny hint of swallowed pride. "Can you…talk to her maybe? See if you can talk her out of this nonsense? I don’t—we can’t lose her."
Kirsten nods and turns to leave, then turns back, just catching a pained gaze, swiftly masked. "Maggie, I—I promise, when this is over, I’ll tell you what happened last night. Or at least I’ll try to get Dakota to tell you. It was—not good. She lost something…someone…very dear to her, though I don’t think any of us will ever know just how dear. Except, maybe, her brother. Okay?"
Maggie tries to summon up a smile and fails. "Okay."
Kirsten feels her heart clench. It’s a new experience for her. Compassion has never been her strongest suit, though she suspects it would take a heart of stone to miss the misery playing itself over Maggie’s noble, handsome features. She reaches out and touches the other woman’s arm, giving it a brief squeeze. "It’ll be okay. You’ll see."
And because she can think of nothing else to do, she turns fully away and trots back to the house, well aware of the eyes at her back.
She steps inside just as Koda exits the bedroom, pack swinging from one fisted hand. Their eyes meet. Koda’s drops quickly away and she crosses the room, moving as if to brush by the young scientist without a word of parting.
"Wait," Kirsten murmurs. "Please."
Unintentionally miming Maggie’s earlier actions, Dakota stops and turns. Annoyance is the only expression that can be read on her face. "What is it."
"Please don’t leave. Not right now."
"Look. I’ve already explained—."
"I know, but I’m asking you to hear me out. I’m not saying that freeing those women isn’t important. It is. But you’re needed here, too."
"Not as much as I’m needed there."
"What about the wolf and her pup? Shannon’s a decent tech, but you saw the look in her eyes last night. She’s absolutely terrified having that little pup in her charge, let alone his mother."
"Tacoma can handle it. Manny, as well. They know what to do."
Kirsten sighs. "Well, would you at least consider taking some backup with you?"
"No."
"But--."
"No. It’s already been decided. By me."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why? Why do you feel you have to do this alone? Why won’t you accept help? There are a couple hundred men and women there who would die for you if you asked it of them." She winces as the words leave her mouth, having somehow stumbled on exactly the wrong thing to say. "I’m sorry. That wasn’t what I mea—."
Koda holds up a hand. Their gazes meet again. This time, those blue eyes soften the tiniest shard. "Look. I—I need to be…alone right now, okay? This place, these people, they’re all…it’s just…too much right now. I need some time…to think." She smiles, very slightly. "Besides, what I’m doing isn’t all that difficult. The facility is small, and there are, at most, three androids there." The smile falls from her face. "Look. Despite what Maggie says, I’m not on a mission to end my own life. It’s just—trust me, okay? I know what I’m doing."
A moment longer, and Kirsten nods, accepting Dakota’s words for truth. She can see it in the other woman’s eyes, in the set of her shoulders, in the clench of her jaw. "Alright," she replies, nodding. "I’d rather you just hunkered yourself out in the woods somewhere for a couple of days, but…alright. Can you do me a favor, though?"
Koda’s walls go up. Kirsten can fairly hear the alarm bells going off in her head. She smiles to diffuse the situation. "Just wait here. I’ll be right back."
A moment later, she returns and hands Koda a minicomp the size of a credit card. Dakota looks at her questioningly. "This morning," Kirsten explains, "while I was running the code, I came across this slight anomaly. I traced it through to the end, and discovered a way to temporarily disable the androids’ motor functions."
Dakota’s eyebrow raises. "Impressive. How temporary is temporary?"
"I’m…not sure. Exactly. Five, ten minutes max. Theoretically."
"Theoretically?"
"Well, I just discovered the code this morning, and it’s not as if we have a handy supply of androids to test it out on. It works in simulation. Beyond that…." She shrugs. "I’ve put the chip with the code in that minicomp. All you have to do is activate it when you’re ready, and set it down somewhere. The transmission will go through just about anything, so you don’t’ have to be in the same room with the droids when you set it off." She smiles a little. "Think of it as a concussion grenade on a grander scale."
Koda nods and slips the minicomp into the breast pocket of her light jacket. "Thanks."
"You’re welcome."
A moment of uncomfortable silence descends between them. "Well…I’ll see you later."
As she turns to leave, Kirsten draws her back with a touch to her arm.
"What?"
Kirsten takes in a deep breath and lets it out very slowly, gathering her thoughts. "Just…be careful, okay?"
"I will."
"These people, Dakota," Kirsten continues, "like it or not, they depend on you. You’re important to them." She pauses very briefly, gathering her courage, yet unable, for all that, to meet Koda’s intent gaze. Her voice, when she finally speaks, is soft as a rose-petal. "You’re important to me."
With an expression that is equal parts fondness and sadness, Dakota lifts a hand to tenderly cup Kirsten’s cheek. The eyes that finally meet hers are stormy with indecision and, if looks closely enough, fear as well. The fear of a child who has just spilled her deepest secret and now waits for the lash of a palm against her face. Who hurt you? she finds herself thinking even as her head lowers, drawn down by the shining, fearful countenance of the woman before her. Who made you so afraid to speak your heart?
As if in a dream, Kirsten feels the brush of Koda’s lips; soft, like the wings of a butterfly, warm as a promise kept.
Fundamental, like a piece of her soul, long knocked askew, finally coming home to rest.