3. Observe Carefully

The cross-cultural traveler should also be a careful observer. This process begins by broadening your view of cultures. For example, if you think of a different culture as "foreign," you may already be imposing damaging assumptions upon it. To some, foreign implies alien, strange, and perhaps, irrelevant. Instead, try to think of a different culture as a resource.

Another comparison between French and American cultures illustrates this point. American and French attitudes about the relationship between parent and child are quite different. A French woman knows that the birth of her child makes her accountable to other adults for her behavior toward that child. She assumes a debt to her society. Her role - more collectivist than an American woman's role - is to transform the child into a responsible member of French society.

In contrast, the American mother assumes more of a debt to the child than to society. Thus, her obligation to the child comes before her obligation to society. Therefore, her role is not so much to teach the child the rules of society, as it is to give the child every opportunity to develop their unique potential.

4. Tolerate Differences

This advice points directly to a person's life orientations. Everyone develops prejudices. Unfortunately, some of these prejudices reveal themselves more strongly in our relationships with people of other cultures. We can observe racial strife, religious strife, political strife all around the world merely by watching the evening news or by reading the morning paper.

The first part of learning to be tolerant of differences is to identify one's own prejudices. Try to take an I'm OK-You're OK orientation to people of other cultures. Accepting others means that you are resisting the temptation to change them. Accepting others means that you are accepting their opinions, even if they do not agree with you, and that you are working to understand other points of view, rather than trying to reshape them into your own image.

You must learn the premise for situations. For example, in France a "friend" is carefully chosen over a period of time. French people don't have many friends because of the special nature of friendship in that culture. A friend is very special. A French friend will take charge of a situation for a friend, and the friend will allow it.

For example, suppose you complain to a French friend that you are not feeling well. Your French friend may take control by bringing food to your house and preparing it. An American would probably withdraw from such behavior because it would seem to be an imposition on the friend. Beyond that, such behavior might be seen to imply that the American is incapable of handling their own affairs.

All people categorize bits and pieces of information as a way of organizing the complexities of the world. However, people do not always make similar categories. Thus, categorization and differentiation can be a basis for cross-cultural differences. Moreover, people account for the existence of things according to their own cultural assumptions. Thus, attribution can be an important source of cross-cultural misunderstanding.

For example, consider an American naturalist who, on his afternoon walk through the woods, "discovers" a new specie growing there. In our society, we understand that the naturalist's discovery was something already there. The newness exists only in the mind of the naturalist.

A different culture might understand knowledge differently. Some primitive cultures, for example, might attribute the existence of the new specie to the whim of a god, who actually put the specie there at that moment for the amusement of the naturalist.

Learning to tolerate others also implies learning to be positive by affirming others. Rather than looking for differences in a host culture, look for similarities. Try to empathize with others and to develop some patience.

For instance, America is a nation of fast things. We love fast cars and fast boats. We want to travel across great distances in fast planes. We buy fast food. We're impatient with standing in line. We assume our cars will never break down, and we like to arrive "just on time." But what does this mean, exactly?

In contrast, Arabs work in units of about fifteen minutes in duration. To arrive within fifteen minutes is to arrive "on time." An Arab may apologize if they arrive thirty minutes late, but won't consider this to be offensive.

Thus, learn to be tolerant of differences. It will not be easy, but it will be worth the effort.