To a False Friend

by R. Makey

Our hands have met, but not our hearts

Our hands will never meet again!

Friends, if we have ever been,

Friends we cannot now remain.

I only know I loved you once,

I only know I loved in vain.

Our hands have met, but not our hearts

Our hands will never meet again.

3.

– Tell us a joke then.

– Why did the lobster blush? – Because it saw the salad dressing.

– Do you know any other jokes?

– What did the toothpaste say to the toothbrush? – Meet you outside the Tube.

– That’s nice. Let’s hear another one.

– Why do birds fly south in winter? – Because it’s too far to walk.

4.

Mike:	Listen, perhaps Janet and I can arrange to meet you and Susan one Saturday evening. We could have dinner together and go on to a theatre.
Jack:	That’s a good idea! If you like, I can book four seats for next Saturday.
Mike:	All right. I’m meeting Janet soon so I can make sure that she’s free next Saturday.
Jack:	Fine. I must fly now. It’s six o’clock already and Susan’s bus arrives at ten past 6. She hates waiting around.
Mike:	O.K. I should phone you tomorrow then. Give my regards to Susan. Have a good evening.

5.

Making a Cake

– Move out of my way, Peter. I want to make a cake.

– How do you make a cake, Mum?

– Fancy you being interested. Well, listen and I’ll tell you. First you take some flour and add the eggs. Oh, no, that’s wrong. You mix the fat and sugar first. But you’d better watch me doing it. Now look, first I mix the fat and the sugar. There, do you see?

– Yes.

– Then I add the eggs, one by one with a little flour and beat them into a mixture.

– Why do you beat them?

– Well, eggs help to make the cake rise nieely if you beat them. And then I add the rest of the dry things.

– What are the dry things?

– Oh, the rest of the flour, the fruit if you are making a fruit-cake or the chocolate powder if it’s a chocolate cake. It depends what sort of cake you are making.

– Make a chocolate cake.

– Yes, that’s what I’m doing. Now I stir in a little baking powder.

– Does that make the cake rise too?

– Yes, but not until you heat it.

– Is that chocolate powder you are putting in now, Mum?

– Of course it is.

– I say, Mum.

– What is it, Peter?

– What’s the salt for?

– What salt, I don’t put salt in a cake.

– You did, you know. Perhaps you thought it was sugar.

– What! Oh, good gracious! I’ve put salt in instead of sugar. The cake is spoiled. What a shame. Those lovely eggs. I’m always doing things like that. Now I shall have to begin again and make buns instead. They don’t need eggs.

(From ‘Meet the Parkers’ by D. Hicks)

Alveolar consonants before [0, 8].

At the junction of the alveolar consonants [t, d, n, l, s, z] and the (inter)dental consonants [0, 8] partial regressive assimilation affecting the place of articulation is observed: the alveolar consonants are represented by their dental variants (allophones).

 e.g. month, health, width, at the moment

!

1) Avoid complete assimilation of [s, z] preceding [0, 8].^

It’s thick It’s this Is that

right [its 0ik] [its 8is] [iz 8#t]

wrong [it0 0ik] [it0 8is] [i8 8#t]

2)If the clusters [nt, lt, nd, ld] occur before [0] or [8], use dental variants of both of their elements.

e.g. spent this, felt that, and then, sold that