Don’t Mess With Stress

It’s nine thirty in the morning. Adam Z. has overslept,* missed his train to the university, and is late for class. He feels worried and guilty. When he sits down, his professor thrusts a failing test paper into his hands. Now angry and frustrated, Adam crumples the paper into a ball, aims it at the waste basket, throws, and misses. Then he sulks silently through the test review. His stress is negative, and it is hurting him.

Stress is the response of the human organism to demands that are placed upon it. Natural disasters, newspaper headlines, public speaking, and business pressures all create stress. So do term paper deadlines and final examinations.

In Japan, the pachinko parlors are crowded with suited «salary men» and students in collegiate dress. They are unwinding from stressful situations. Some Japanese students cope with the stress of examinations by visiting special Buddhist temples for scholars. Thousands of miles away, their counterparts at a prestigious American women’s college relieve pretest anxiety by draping flowers over the statue of Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom.

There is positive and negative stress. Positive stress energizes us to take action in earthquakes or fires. It pushes us to make term paper deadlines and to prepare for oral reports. It cautions us not to run in front of buses and warns us to stop smoking and to read food labels for cancer-causing additives. Negative stress, in contrast, is destructive. It is a factor in physical illness, and it decreases efficiency in daily life. Moreover, it is counterproductive. If Adam Z. had participated in the test review instead of «turning off», he would have improved on the next test.

There are many constructive ways to cope with stress. For example, in India and other parts of Asia, breathing exercises have been done for centuries to improve mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Zen meditation, Buddhist chanting, and tai chi* movements foster inner calm. Western cultures are now turning to many of these traditional relaxation techniques. For example, Dr. Sarah Salon of Israel’s Hadassah-Hebrew University Medical Centre claims that yoga and tai chi, Asian mind/body disciplines, help manage hypertension. Also some Israeli nurses are following a stress-reduction program that combines yoga with Jewish thought.

In America, particularly on college campuses, young people are trying to defuse stressful situations through assertive behavior. Assertive people are not aggressive. They don’t lose their tempers, insult others, or use violence to make a point. Assertive people do, however, stick up for their legitimate rights: they express their feelings honestly and refuse unreasonable requests. Their goal is not to win but to communicate.

Assertive people follow these suggestions.

THEY DON’T Say «You» Giggle or mutter under their breath Put themselves down Criticize generally Raise their voice Ignore insulting jokes Allow interruptions

THEY DO Say «I» Describe their true feelings Express concern for the other people’s feelings Request a specific change in behavior Speak calmly Say «That is not funny» Calmly repeat their point («Please let me finish; I let you continue when you were speaking»)

Being assertive, not aggressive, opens the door to better relationships.

________________ NOTES

Overslept: slept too long, causing lateness.

Tai chi: a traditional Chinese exercise done slowly and gracefully in imitation of animals’ movements.